The New World > Private Threads

you don't like to be touched, let alone kissed — sam.


tw. underage drinking

Right now, Boy was the luckiest kid ever, all trauma and personal issues aside. He was the luckiest kid ever because he was the one sitting next to Sammy in all of her whimsical glory. That’s right. Him. Wasn’t that crazy? It was like having dinner with a golden Goddess, except they were not sat at a table but instead sat at the dock, legs dangling over the edge and arms resting against the wooden railing, and Boy’s only dinner was in the liquid form. As golden as it got, there was something liberating about getting to drink beer freely now that he had his own place here in the Steezy digs. Greenie tended to turn a blind eye at the underage drinking around here, as long as Boy wasn’t being an infernal nuisance around the District. He supposed not much was different here than at home — all except Dad would get mad if he’d find that Boy had stolen beers from him because it meant there were less beers for Dad.
Toying at the can’s tab, there was evidently something on Boy’s mind. It wasn’t often a thought that he wanted to entertain, but the desire to find out had only since grown after all the time he’d spent living with Sam. ❝ Why’d you ever leave Boston? ❞ Boy turned his head to peer across towards Sammy, cheekbone resting against a wooden rail. ❝ I mean, you had everything you could’ve ever wanted there. You had the Steezies, you had Chase... ❞ His voice cracked slightly at the mention of his name. The man who had stolen Sammy’s heart when Boy ached to be him. Instead, he’d sit back with envy and look out for Sammy on the sidelines. Maybe he was jealous all that time, but surely it didn’t make him a shitty guy if he was doing it because he cared about her, right? Wrong, apparently. Back then, Sammy hadn’t taken Boy’s jealousy very well, and maybe it was Boy’s fault for ever calling Chase out on every red flag he saw in him. Boy would forever blame Chase for placing that strain with his and Sammy's friendship all those months ago.

Curling his lip and squinting an eye to block out the glare of the setting sun, Boy then asked, ❝ Why’d you come and find me? ❞ He turned his head away to then rest his chin on the railing to look out across the sea as the sun met the horizon. ❝ Like bro, I get it — I’m irresistible — you know it runs in the family. ❞ With a cheeky grin flashing across his lips, he shot Sammy a quick, playful glance before his gaze diverted once more as he returned to all seriousness. ❝ I just feel bad ya know, man? You… You had so much going for you back in Boston like for real, it was crazy the way you had shit in your life so under control, but I led you astray to live in the middle of buttfuck nowhere with me. If you regret it, at least just a lil, then I don’t blame you, bro! I’d be a pissed, too. ❞ He pointed out with a huff of laughter, dimples sinking in as his smile lingered on weakly.

Taking a sip of a can of beer, Boy couldn’t help but feel somewhat resentful for everything that Chase got to do with Sammy. Trust him, Boy had been there done that but, for him, any bridge to pave the gap between friend and lover was burnt by Sam's own hand. Sammy was just never interested in that sorta stuff, ya know, boys and stuff; what had Chase done to win her over that way, hey? Was it because he was a pretty boy? He was a pretty boy and Boy couldn’t even deny it.

being able to sit and watch the sunset with boy again was something that brought a lot of inner peace back into sam's life. sure, she had the rest of the steezies back in boston when he left, but that was just the thing - he left. the two had been attached at the hip since they sat by each other on their first day of school. the rest of the steezies were cool and she liked them, but they weren't boy. sam should have been prepared for him to eventually ask questions on why she suddenly showed up, he was always painfully curious just like her.

it only took him saying the name chase for sam to get caught off guarding, accidentally knocking the can with her hand. "shit." she mumbled, quickly picking the can up before a lot of it spilled out. the seventeen year old grew tense , her skin crawling as she soon began to grow uncomfortable. it wasn't like he meant to, how could he have? he didn't even know what had happened between them. she was quiet for a few moments as thoughts blurred in her head, only finally looking over to him when he spoke up again. "why'd you come and find me?" "why wouldn't i find you, boy?" sam looked over to him, eyebrows furrowed together and a small pout forming on her face. "you're my best friend." it wasn't long before there was an amused smile taking over her features, a small laugh leaving her lips as she reached over to push him teasingly.

"sorry to burst your warped view on me, but i've never had my life together and never had much going for me back in boston, or anywhere for that matter." there was a slight sigh at the end as she leaned forward and rested her chin on her arms, dark eyes looking down towards the water. "no place is worth being if you aren't there, anyways." for a few moments, she was debating on just leaving it as that and not telling him about that night, but it felt wrong for her to keep things from her best friend and she hated that feeling.

"boy... i need to tell you something." sam began, trying to look over towards him before looking back towards the water when she couldn't bring herself to make eye contact with him. "something happened the night before i left boston. i -" she closed her eyes as she took a deep breath. "i don't - there was - i -" her voice cracked slighty as she tried to figure out the right words, eventually looking towards him. "just promise me you won't react in the usual boy manner, please? just promise you won't blow up."

The assurance was all he needed to feel content in knowing that she left because she wanted to. Maybe she missed Boy; that would be nice to believe, anyways. As she laughed, her apparent joy was infectious as Boy’s gaze lingered with amusement, a grin on his lips as he bobbed to the side like a buoy when she playfully pushed him. This all had to be too good to be true, he’d forever believe wholeheartedly. Trust him when he said that he had spent years trying to be himself well enough to catch her attention. Maybe he tried to seek something more than their friendship once or twice, but she seemed far more content with being best friends. If Sammy was happy, then so was Boy. And if she was willing to search for him the way she did, then obviously their friendship was solid enough for Boy to never have to doubt them.

❝ Sorry to burst your warped view on me, but I've never had my life together and never had much going for me back in Boston, or anywhere for that matter. ❞ Boy pulled his lips downwards into a thoughtful pout, remarking casually, ❝ I dunno. Could’ve fooled me ❞, before he turned his head to give Sam a closed-lip smile. He watched the way her brown eyes searched the surface of the water, as if it would soon give her the right words to say. From then on, Boy’s smile faltered because this wasn’t the usual Sammy who’d throw him a seemingly unamused look, trying to conceal the smile that tried to will itself onto her lips. The conversation felt too sombre; something didn’t feel right. Eyes lingered on her face carefully for several seconds more, brows gently knitting together with concern as he said nothing in response to her next words.

No place is worth being if you aren’t there.

He looked away. Did she actually feel that way about him? Whilst Sammy didn’t have a lot, especially after her aunt died a few years back, she sure as hell had so much more going for her that it felt almost as if her connection with Boy was only holding her back. Boy had already come to accept that he was quite the lost cause, bumbling along through life and getting on the wrong side of all authority. If he could actually manage to make it past the age of twenty one, then he would predict that life wouldn’t change much from what it had always been. He often felt as if that only strayed Sam farther away from her potential. This whole world was her oyster, and yet she chose to spend it with him. It was the sad truth but, as much Boy pined for her, he also hoped that someday she’d realise that she was worth more than whatever he could give her.

❝ Boy… I need to tell you something. ❞ Sam broke the silence once more as Boy darted his eyes back over towards her. She couldn’t even look at him as she tried to get the words out, but all confessions faltered. Boy’s face fell as he anxiously awaited whatever she had to get off her chest but, whatever it was, Boy feared that — judging from Sam’s stammering — he wasn’t going to like it. Next, she asked that he promise not to react in his usual unrestrained manner. That meant that he definitely wasn’t going to like what he was about to hear. Had he done something wrong to hurt her? Was she about to tell him that she was going to scram the same way that he had back in Boston?

He pulled his shoulders up in a drawn out shrug, head tipped to the side as he tried to pull a casual pout her way. ❝ I’ll be as good as gold, Chica! ❞ He held a hand up nonchalantly as if he was working in overdrive just to try and reassure her. At least just enough for her to have the courage to tell him what she was meaning to say. Boy couldn’t help but sweat, however — whatever it sounded like, it didn’t seem good. He returned to all seriousness, lowering his hand to rest back down on the railing as he then asked, ❝ Sammy, you good? ❞


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