Author Topic: ⌠ I COULD HIT THAT REFRESH AND FORGET — STORAGE ⌡  (Read 888 times)

Online ASYLI

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⌠ I COULD HIT THAT REFRESH AND FORGET — STORAGE ⌡
« on: May 13, 2018, 06:14:43 PM »
a new dump because i'm indecisive and i hate basically every new thread i make after like ten minutes, so, here we are again. feel free to talk and whatnot, i usually post stuff relevant to my characters other times even i don't know what i'm talking about. i swear, people are probably getting sick of being tagged by me but is that going to stop me? possibly.

IMPORTANT POSTS
— all important posts will be linked here

Spoiler: show
@Seliane @sultan @zuka @ACACIA @bea @kid (you've been tagged so much lately, i'm so sorry), @astraea @Pizui

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WAKING UP TO NOTHING WHEN YOU'RE SUPER FAR FROM HOME
i watch you fall asleep at night and lay there on my own / asyli & storage & characters & Asyli#1743
⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺got me begging for affection, all you do is roll your eyes

Online ASYLI

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Re: ⌠ I COULD HIT THAT REFRESH AND FORGET — STORAGE ⌡
« Reply #1 on: May 13, 2018, 06:15:32 PM »
OLD LAYOUTS + OLD LAYOUTS CODES
just where i'm going to put old layouts because i enjoy saving them and then later looking back on them and remembering how i felt in those moments because i'm very... picture memory oriented.

Spoiler: show

기관총 | JOLIE AUX PASTEL


❥ * : ・゚ I'M SPUN, HIT ME UP, LIGHT ME UP
THEN WE CAN GO FOR THE CRIME
1/7 swag squad | ½ ceryli | aromantic | they/it/any | storage | @all of y'all




우울한 암캐 | BELLE OU MOI


❥ * : ・゚ WHEN I GO INTO THE GROUND
I WILL NOT GO QUIETLY
1/7 swag squad | aromantic | they/it/any | storage/gallery | @all y'all




성자의 날 | SAMHAIN NIGHT



❥ * : ・゚ASYLI : a variation of the english and latin word asylum; it's a lesser known translation and not often used, actually, it is a word that many do not know exists. now, the word asylum in itself has many meanings the most commonly know is an institution for the maintenance and care of the mentally ill, orphans, or other persons requiring specialized assistance. however, it is also known as an inviolable refuge, as formerly for criminals and debtors which is a type of sanctuary for those who have committed wrong doings or disagree with the law. it is also a place that accepts political refugees or various other escapees who are fleeing from oppression or warlike environments. above all else the word is meant to stand for a safe place, something secure and protected—a place free of worries
SPOOPY WORDS WITH INSPIRATIONAL DEFINITIONS


슬픈 이신 | PIONS DE LA VIE


AND NO ONE ENTERTAINS THE THOUGHT THAT
MAYBE GOD DOES NOT BELIEVE IN YOU

AKA ASYLI / AROMANTIC / ½ CERYLI / DUMP & GALLERY



나는 우울증이다 | BAISE-MOI


JE SUIS RIEN; JE SUIS PERSONNE
J'AI TOUTE MA PEINE COMME ROYAUME
AKA ASYLI / AROMANTIC / ½ CERYLI / ⅐ SWAG SQUAD / DUMP & GALLERY



✧— DEPRESSED BUT COOL


⋆ * : ・゚HAPPINESS HIT HER
LIKE A BULLET TO THE BRAIN
AKA ASYLI / AROMANTIC / ½ CERYLI / ⅐ SWAG SQUAD / DUMP & GALLERY



✧— WANNA PLAY A GAME (:


RUN OR HI/(%)@E ?



✧・*・゚lost in my own reality


this is no fairytale: every single male
that I've met 'til this day had a curly tail!
✧・*・゚all men are pigs




I'M THE MOTHERFUCKIN' TOP MADAME
✧・*・゚BITCH YOU A FUCKING PUSS PUSS / INFORMATION




the body count is on your hands





from time to time there arise among human beings
people who seem to exude love as naturally as the sun





the lit shit you got, i'm gonna have it
you're really cute, but i'm here for my habits





*:・゚✧ — listen, i'm your friend, don't quote me
but not a friend worth noting; yes, please don't ever note me as your friend. who says we have cold hearts? acting out our old parts, dance before my favorite little scene, oh oh oh




*:・゚✧ ⸺ i forgot my way, the place where i planned to go
in my dreams i keep calling you, i persisted stubbornly, as i wished. devoured by a nightmare, i woke up from my dream another day. you used to fill my numb mind but now you're gone. now, tell me if you still shining on my life, swept away by time, empty; tell me if you still shining on my life. . .





❝  JE TE DÉTESTE je ne suis pas musicien, je ne suis pas chanteur, dieu m'a donné des mains pour consoler mon cœur. si j'avais pu savoir combien tu t'en foutais, j'aurais tué l'espoir de pouvoir t'emmener. je ne suis pas en sucre, je ne suis pas en sel mais je sens bon l'amour, jesque sous les aisselles. si j'avais une voix et la moustache qu'il faut pour passer su nova, tu reviendrais bientôt.  asyli ; aromantic pansexual, pangender  ❞





⸺ vingt mille façons de dire je t'aime xx
asyli & they/it & seventh circle of hell & north was a lesbian who deserved better & song & storage




THEY SAID I'M A ANA-ANA-ANARCHIST, I'M A ANARCHIST
ANA-ANA-ANARCHIST, NOT LIKE THE OTHER KIDS
⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺they chucked me off a cliff but i'm still not dead

« Last Edit: July 17, 2018, 09:19:51 PM by ASYLI »
WAKING UP TO NOTHING WHEN YOU'RE SUPER FAR FROM HOME
i watch you fall asleep at night and lay there on my own / asyli & storage & characters & Asyli#1743
⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺got me begging for affection, all you do is roll your eyes

Offline bea

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Re: ⌠ I COULD HIT THAT REFRESH AND FORGET — STORAGE ⌡
« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2018, 06:19:38 PM »
hello <: (ignore my layout sdjkfhdkjs im working on it)
YOU'RE A SKELETON KEY ✩‧₊˚

Offline ACACIA

  • ✧ 爱 - love
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Re: ⌠ I COULD HIT THAT REFRESH AND FORGET — STORAGE ⌡
« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2018, 06:27:01 PM »
*:・゚✧ big ol' track ^^
Baby love me right Come to me, don’t hesitate
You’re my alluring universe Just love me right
My entire universe is you -- aka. kei ; clichespirit#8893

Offline syzygy

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Re: ⌠ I COULD HIT THAT REFRESH AND FORGET — STORAGE ⌡
« Reply #4 on: May 13, 2018, 06:28:08 PM »
slithers in

yee, a new home and i don't mind being tagged a butt ton of times

Online ASYLI

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Re: ⌠ I COULD HIT THAT REFRESH AND FORGET — STORAGE ⌡
« Reply #5 on: May 13, 2018, 06:32:58 PM »
between the words "love and faith" which is the most important? which word can the world not live without? the answer is "and" because without that word it becomes love without faith and love without faith is pointless, it's toxic. if you truly love someone you will find your faith, if you trust someone completely you cannot be easily broken.

asanopirh - death shine
aslan - lion
oberon - from shakespeare, king of the fairies
parkyr - guardian of the forest
heloise - famous in battle
zuleika - the fair
latenr - sand ruler
amaris - child of the moon
keelin - slender and fair
aislinn - dream or vision
aelfdene - from the elfin valley
alvar - army of the elves
elciid - heart voyager
hadiil - frost fighter

micoexpressions: "A microexpression is a brief, involuntary facial expression shown on the face of humans according to emotions experienced. They usually occur in high-stakes situations, where people have something to lose or gain. Microexpressions occur when a person is consciously trying to conceal all signs of how they are feeling, or when a person does not consciously know how they are feeling. Unlike regular facial expressions, it is difficult/impossible to hide microexpression reactions. Microexpressions cannot be controlled as they happen in a fraction of a second, but it is possible to capture someone's expressions with a high speed camera and replay them at much slower speeds. Microexpressions express the seven universal emotions: disgust, anger, fear, sadness, happiness, contempt, and surprise."

a character who is both a con-artist and also something close to a therapist, he does what to take from people but he also gains from helping people figure out their own problems. he has a little bit of a controlling problem and something close to a god-complex or a hero-complex, he likes being the center of attention and he loves people praising him for doing something good; he likes being the hero, the savior and has a sort of addiction to that feeling. i suppose he has something that could be classified under narcissistic personality disorder or even aspd, he certainly shows psychopathic tendencies but i haven't decided if they were simply caused by something wrong in his brain when he was born (possibly lack of oxygen for too long thus causing damage to the frontal lobe and likely other parts of his brain: i could even think of something akin to savant syndrome for him if i wanted as he is ridiculously skilled in both psychology and the reading of emotions/faces). he's a complex character and probably the biggest contradiction and hypocrite to ever grace this world, also, he's likely a pathological liar but it's difficult for even him to figure out if he's telling the truth or not (possibly has a lot of fake memories?). honest to god believes he is a prophet, a genie, a traveling witch or any of those sort of those things; he believes he's mystic 100% but often knows some of the things he says are lies.
(i completely forgot about this character idea but, damn, this was actually pretty cool.)


Spoiler: show
savant syndromea condition in which a person demonstrates one or more profound and prodigious capacities or abilities far in excess of what would be considered normal, yet often also has significant deficits in other areas of brain processing. People with savant syndrome may have neurodevelopmental disorders, notably autism spectrum disorders (in which case they are often referred to as autistic savants), or brain injuries. The most dramatic examples of savant syndrome occur in individuals who score very low on IQ tests, while demonstrating exceptional skills or brilliance in specific areas, such as rapid calculation (hypercalculia), art, memory, or musical ability. Although termed a syndrome, it is not recognized as a mental disorder nor as part of a mental disorder in medical manuals such as the ICD-10 or the DSM-5.

when writing autistic characters write through a humanizing way and not a behaviorizing way; that meaning to relate how that character feels to how non-autistic characters feel do not point out unusual behaviors (meaning, don't outwardly explain that these behaviors are strange: for them it's not unusual or weird and it shouldn't be explained like that). write more like "Wrinkles in Brianna's socks grated on her nerves like sandpaper on raw skin. Brianna often had difficulty conveying how unpleasant this was to other people, and when it happened, it reminded her of all the times she'd tried to communicate her frustration and been ignored. The combination of pain and stress and knowing she would likely be ignored again stripped her words from her and left her with no other way to communicate but screaming." and not "Brianna would scream whenever she had a wrinkle in her sock." or "Brianna was especially sensitive to how her clothing felt, so she would scream whenever she had a wrinkle in her sock." what i mean to say is always write the emotional connection, it's not just a behavior but a thought process; if an autistic person does not want to be touched then there is a reason, it's not just because they want to reject it but maybe they find it physically painful or intrusive and they do not want it. they are not rejecting it because they feel awkward but because they feel something negative about it. there is always a why, they don't act out without reason they are simply experiencing and reacting to the environment around them the same way anyone else would in the way that they can understand.

⋆ they don't talk, well, they don't talk often. they did not start talking until they turned (relatively) five as they were uninterested in communicating directly and focused on watching and learning from others, it was not because they couldn't talk but simply because they chose not to. they didn't think it was important, they still gained knowledge and were able to communicate in their own ways and staying silent was just so much simpler and more comfortable for them. they still have this thought process, it's easier for them to stay mute because that's where they are comfortable and just enjoy watching or using body language to communicate with people. however, on the rare times that they do speak they have something of a stutter and tend to get stuck on certain words and need to repeat whole sentences to get out what they want. they are easily frustrated because of it and if they cannot get out what they want to say they may become extremely frustrated and move to huffing or growling and pointing to desperately try to get the other people to understand what they want. it's just a terrible experience for them, it's incredibly stressful and they become viciously frustrated because they know what they want to say they just can't get it out the way it's supposed to come out. along with that, they have echolalia which is actually a fairly common thing and is used pretty commonly as both a means to communicate and simply calm oneself; it's basically the repetition of singular words or phrases that have been spoken to them or around them. these come in two different types: immediate echolalia (the immediate repetition of words/phrases said around them) or delayed echolalia (repetition of words/phrases after a long period of time has passed since the initial hearing); it's often seen as either a way to buy time for an autistic person to process information, to rehearse a response, to acknowledge and engage or to express oneself. when they do speak it's likely that they will be echolaliaing what someone has said to them, they have a difficult time forming their own words and when they do try to form original sentences they are often fragmented or weirdly structured. speaking is just an incredibly difficult thing for them to do and it's stepping out of an area of where they feel comfortable and secure but that doesn't mean they don't try; forming sentences is difficult, forming original sentences is even harder or, as neurotypical people would say, phrasing things in your own words. they will often script, whether it be echolalia scripting or social scripting but what that means is that while exholalia is simply the repetition of short phrases or words, scripting is the repetition of longer sentences found from books, movies and even other people. think of someone piecing together a sentence using words you have said along with words that maybe come from a line in a movie. it's almost like cutting and pasting words to explain what you want, to get your needs across to another person because you don't know how to form that sentence exclusively on your own. this is more often found in younger children but isn't restricted to just them and with how long it took for them to begin talking at all this isn't a strange or bad thing; in fact, it can be a sign of process in speech as it means that they are slowly trying to form their own words and to speak in a way that allows them to create personal and original sentences. they don't struggle much on body language, in fact, it seems to be one of their best skills in communicating and while there are certainly times where they can't express what they want correctly and get frustrated and upset it is fairly rare but it does still become a problem if there are people that they are either uncomfortable with or who struggle just as much as they do to read body language. they cannot read beneath words, they take things the way you say them so humor or sarcasm are not things they can read and they will take it literally; it's difficult for them to understand underlying meaning and if you want to say something to them you need to say it as it is or it's likely they won't understand what you were actually trying to say.

⋆ they enjoy repetition, they enjoy having a system to follow because if things go too array then they are put into situations that they are not comfortable with and they will become stressed and will panic. it's certainly difficult for them to live in the apocalypse but even then they have a strict system that they try to follow because it keeps them calm, they know it and they understand it and it's a good way from them to handle the stress of everything. they'll try to go to sleep at the same time as the night before (just after sunset) and they'll try to wake up just as the sun is coming over the horizon, they'll eat their food groups in a certain way (vegetables first, then fruits, bread or noodles, meats / won't eat dairy, doesn't like milk or yogurts or most cheeses, likes swiss cheese and will really only eat swiss cheese / all sweets come last, the meal has to be eaten before they eat desert). they will greet the same person the same way everyday, mostly because it's easier than having to put more energy into thinking of new ways to greet that person and because they feel that if they do that that person understands that, yes, they remember them and they won't forget that special greeting for that person. they aren't terrible at social interaction, enjoy it to an extent and connecting with people has always been a difficult thing for them but they are doing their very best.

⋆ avoid major stereotypes when it comes to writing or portraying an autistic character; that means that a young, white boy with brown hair who is super smart and obsessed with something like trains or anything mechanical. avoid the robotic and socially inept tropes where the character does not want to be part of society, is comfortable not interacting with other people. i'm aware that it is likely that people who are autistic and have these mannerisms do exist but it's something seen too much in media, it's best to avoid those tropes especially for a non-autistic person trying to portray an autistic character, it's something that many in the autistic community are trying to argue against—diversify your character, stray from what the mainstream is now saying.

⋆ maybe around twenty-six or twenty-seven, they're older because i'm still not used to playing characters and you know what's harder than trying to properly write a character with something you don't personally understand? writing that character with an age group that you haven't explored very much, i'm just fucking myself up the ass with a chainsaw at this point but i'm honestly so excited for them because, fuck, they're going to be such a good sweetheart.

⋆ ruth negga, sza

[add more information and research here]

⋆ in other news amythest is an amazing person and has been incredibly helpful connecting everything that i was reading about in research into everyday scenarios. it is one thing to read scientific papers and to understand the symptoms on that level but it's another to actually hear real experiences and understand fully what those symptoms mean and how they affect someone. amythest is an amazing person and if you can take some time out of your day you should really watch what they have to say and even follow some of their blogs because they're just such a soft person and are really good about what they have to say and i honestly love them with my whole heart and hope they get a lot of recognition for how hard they're working.

Anyway, the idea behind them was more of?? Religious kid who was taught to punish the sinners, believes themselves a prophet of god, the next messiah and likely has something bordering on psychosis or schizophrenia, heightened delusions where they aren't just putting on a front they honest to god believe in they are the messiah. They live by a strict rule book and are very aggressive and brutal and just an abusive person, honestly would probably be the leader of a cult meaning they are charming and highly intelligent and manipulative but in a different way than callous. Yeah theyre brutal and yeah they've beaten and hurt people but at the same time they honestly believe they're saving people's souls, allowing them the spiritual freedom they know that people deserve. Pain is but a physical representation of ones love, the more pain they survive the stronger their love for god and the stronger and brighter their after life will be
oh shit, i forgot about the early idea of Udl.

Spoiler: show
A CHARACTER IDEA THAT I HAD THAT I COULD MAYBE USE FOR WNR OR TNW

a masculine character who is transphobic and misogynistic; however, it is not exactly what it seems because underneath all that hatred is a pretty girl who just wants to live the life she knows she deserves, not this cowardice existence of hiding who she is under anger. this character was raised in a very patriarchal community and has had ideas pushed upon them since birth about how women were nothing more than objects to be used and thrown away but this character had never truly been the dutiful son her father had wished her to be.

(will be using she/her pronouns to refer to her but everyone will only know he/him pronouns ; to be honest, i may stick with he/him pronouns until he finally comes to terms with who she is because it could get confusing if i continuously switch things up ; maybe while explaining them i will simply use they/them as to avoid confusion and then decide how they will be written)

misogynistic: very, very hateful towards women and often non-binary individuals to the point where it seems over the top and excessive, even for someone who is genuinely against the existence and given power of women. the character hides all their thoughts by belittling and insulting women because it's the only way left where they feel like they can really excel past the emotions that crawl under their skin. they will often completely ignore the existence of a woman if she is talking to them, will ignore orders spoken by women with more power than them, expect women to respond when he talks to them and will ignore those who speak to him before he speaks to them; will not respect women in power, will not follow rules or expectations set by them and will do anything in his power to undermine them and their decisions. if in a particularly bad mood he will address most women as "whore" or "bitch" because his bad moods seem to step from his dysphoria and he can ease the pain by reminding both himself and other women of their place in his fucked up mentality.

internalized transphobia: the internalized hatred or shame of a particular part of oneself to the point where it is projected out onto those who have that same quality. essentially this character is a female in the body of a male raised in a community told that women were beneath men, who told them that they were more powerful as a man than they would ever be as a woman. thus this character can be incredibly crude, insensitive and just downright abusive to anyone who is open about their gender or even their sexuality because there is that deep shame of their own shelf and the subtle envy towards those because he just can't be like them, he would never be allowed to be. he projects his self hatred onto others because it's all he knows how to do, if he can't feel happy in his own body then why should he give those people the chance to be? he grew up believing that what he was was disgusting, disgraceful and wrong and it's all he has even known and his conflicting emotions always seem to explode faster than he can stop them.

masculinity: this character has been fighting their femininity their entire life and in an effort to hide those parts of themselves that want to be "girly" they have upped everything they feel makes them more masculine. this means that they've built muscle so they appear more alpha male, they do everything to portray to what everyone expects to see from him. they talk about stupid things, try to appeal more to the male side of appreciation and have long since hate themselves for it. they don't feel like a muscular, scarred and broken man but a dainty, beautiful girl but he feels like the only way to hide that is to make sure he's so manly that you would never suspect that from him.

⋆ they likely grew up in a large family (father, 3 mothers, 15 siblings) that was both very distant and heavily abusive; it was a dog eat dog world in his family and his community. women were beaten to submission, men were beaten to be tough and it was a brutal existence because if you weren't strong enough to survive you perished... there was no running away, there was no escaping because you would have been hunted down and executed after extensive torture.

quick rundown: a male character who feels and wants to be female (transfemale) but was raised in a very patriarchal community that was against anything related to the LGBTQ+ community and women in general. this character portrays what he believes his community and family would want him to while battling his inner feelings by doing everything to undermine them and bury them.

⋆ they are very alpha male which means that they are very, very aggressive and dominating; they try to be above everyone else not only in power but also in intelligence. they are muscular and scarred from fights but are quick witted and strategic in what they do. they can be a little impulsive and sometimes they get themselves into too deep of situations and can't get themselves out of right away but don't we all? they're mysterious and emotionally closed off, they don't allow people in because they feel the more estranged from society that they are the safer that they will be. they have tough skin, they've had to have it between their community and those who are against the kind of shit they spit out all the time and have long since stopped caring about what others say, what arguments other people have to say and are rarely hurt from what people say. they brood, that is all. honestly, think of that one overly masculine person in any tv show ever and you will have exactly what this character tries to portray themselves as. they seem almost like a drone, like every bit of their personality is faked and crafted badly in a lab; they're just an everyday alpha dude and that's exactly what they want you to think. they aren't unique, they aren't special... they've been drained dry and when i do begin to play them and switch things up the biggest part will be them slowly becoming their own person, finding their own likes and dislikes and etc.
also an old character idea i forgot i had, well, sort of -- i lost the post where i was talking about them is what i should have said but i think i might actually go through and make this character.
WAKING UP TO NOTHING WHEN YOU'RE SUPER FAR FROM HOME
i watch you fall asleep at night and lay there on my own / asyli & storage & characters & Asyli#1743
⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺got me begging for affection, all you do is roll your eyes

Online ASYLI

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Re: ⌠ I COULD HIT THAT REFRESH AND FORGET — STORAGE ⌡
« Reply #6 on: May 13, 2018, 06:42:39 PM »

WAKING UP TO NOTHING WHEN YOU'RE SUPER FAR FROM HOME
i watch you fall asleep at night and lay there on my own / asyli & storage & characters & Asyli#1743
⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺got me begging for affection, all you do is roll your eyes

Online ASYLI

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Re: ⌠ I COULD HIT THAT REFRESH AND FORGET — STORAGE ⌡
« Reply #7 on: May 13, 2018, 06:47:08 PM »
Aliquam vitae pharetra leo. Etiam tincidunt elementum risus, sed commodo ipsum fringilla vitae. Nunc luctus dignissim mauris, ut rutrum lorem blandit id. Duis a lobortis neque, ac mollis ligula. Ut vel lorem et enim posuere laoreet. Suspendisse scelerisque ipsum sapien. Curabitur vulputate et massa ut accumsan. Aenean sodales, odio ac pulvinar feugiat, felis neque ultricies odio, ac hendrerit leo orci sit amet ante. Aenean pellentesque nibh ipsum, ac sodales nunc laoreet ac. Praesent vehicula ipsum sed accumsan auctor. Etiam efficitur libero at urna vestibulum, id aliquam metus viverra. Etiam eget convallis arcu, eget dapibus orci. In venenatis vestibulum nulla tincidunt luctus.

Maecenas tristique, tortor sit amet blandit dignissim, velit mauris commodo enim, vel dignissim orci urna a odio. Sed nec scelerisque mi. Suspendisse ipsum massa, euismod in euismod non, vestibulum eu nunc. Suspendisse et purus elit. Integer pellentesque, ex vel ornare euismod, nisi tellus dapibus nunc, non scelerisque tortor purus in lorem. Aenean posuere ex eu sollicitudin malesuada. Nam egestas est vel consequat faucibus. Aenean sit amet consequat nisl. Sed dolor est, consequat ac sollicitudin sit amet, aliquet nec nisi. Interdum et malesuada fames ac ante ipsum primis in faucibus. Etiam vel purus purus. Integer nec diam mauris. Mauris nisl justo, efficitur in nunc eu, suscipit tristique justo. Fusce sed nisi vel massa volutpat iaculis. Morbi porta vel nisi sed bibendum.Aliquam vitae pharetra leo. Etiam tincidunt elementum risus, sed commodo ipsum fringilla vitae. Nunc luctus dignissim mauris, ut rutrum lorem blandit id. Duis a lobortis neque, ac mollis ligula. Ut vel lorem et enim posuere laoreet. Suspendisse scelerisque ipsum sapien. Curabitur vulputate et massa ut accumsan. Aenean sodales, odio ac pulvinar feugiat, felis neque ultricies odio, ac hendrerit leo orci sit amet ante. Aenean pellentesque nibh ipsum, ac sodales nunc laoreet ac. Praesent vehicula ipsum sed accumsan auctor. Etiam efficitur libero at urna vestibulum, id aliquam metus viverra. Etiam eget convallis arcu, eget dapibus orci. In venenatis vestibulum nulla tincidunt luctus.

Maecenas tristique, tortor sit amet blandit dignissim, velit mauris commodo enim, vel dignissim orci urna a odio. Sed nec scelerisque mi. Suspendisse ipsum massa, euismod in euismod non, vestibulum eu nunc. Suspendisse et purus elit. Integer pellentesque, ex vel ornare euismod, nisi tellus dapibus nunc, non scelerisque tortor purus in lorem. Aenean posuere ex eu sollicitudin malesuada. Nam egestas est vel consequat faucibus. Aenean sit amet consequat nisl. Sed dolor est, consequat ac sollicitudin sit amet, aliquet nec nisi. Interdum et malesuada fames ac ante ipsum primis in faucibus. Etiam vel purus purus. Integer nec diam mauris. Mauris nisl justo, efficitur in nunc eu, suscipit tristique justo. Fusce sed nisi vel massa volutpat iaculis. Morbi porta vel nisi sed bibendum.
⋆ * : ・゚ I GAVE UP EVERYTHING TO BE HERE, HOW DISAPPOINTING AM I
WAKING UP TO NOTHING WHEN YOU'RE SUPER FAR FROM HOME
i watch you fall asleep at night and lay there on my own / asyli & storage & characters & Asyli#1743
⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺got me begging for affection, all you do is roll your eyes

Online ASYLI

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Re: ⌠ I COULD HIT THAT REFRESH AND FORGET — STORAGE ⌡
« Reply #8 on: May 13, 2018, 06:47:23 PM »
⋆ * : ・゚ I AM SORRY THAT I COULD NOT BE YOUR EVERYTHING
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WAKING UP TO NOTHING WHEN YOU'RE SUPER FAR FROM HOME
i watch you fall asleep at night and lay there on my own / asyli & storage & characters & Asyli#1743
⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺got me begging for affection, all you do is roll your eyes

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Re: ⌠ I COULD HIT THAT REFRESH AND FORGET — STORAGE ⌡
« Reply #9 on: May 13, 2018, 07:06:25 PM »
ah, sorry i wasn't responding right away i was just trying to get everything on here and organized as quickly as i could before i lost the motivation to do so. fweoifhweof kid i always worry i just keep doing it and i realize i've done it A Lot lately and i was worried it was becoming too much, whoops.

— i have always wanted a character that operates on the dark web, i know i had an idea a long time ago about a hacker that worked to shut down sites there but... to be honest, having a character activity participating would be more interesting? after the whole "welcome to the game" frenzy it's something that i really want; possibly even molding a character after the doll maker or a character that makes snuff videos, violent videos of people being murdered. although, i have a lot of options when it comes to the dark web especially because it seems almost limitless with how many terrible people are out there, i could have a character that tortures others on camera and i should probably think on this idea a little more.
— work on explaining how i think my world of life, death and the inbetween work; like, i have darisam who is the dimension creator and universal maker but then i have death who knows god and it feels like a very weak connection there? i have to explain that more, design it so that setsunai, darisam, kholat, and death can all exist in one universal platform.
— oh, i should also work on the history of the serial killer-apprentice relationship idea that i had; the one where it's almost like serial killers training one person to carry on this ancient art of killing people so that the murders committed by each seem to be endless. i can't explain it well in short but i think the thing that matters the most is to say that it's a line of serial killers being trained and then training people to kill people and adapting so well to the changes in time that they remain undetectable, ancient, the biggest mystery of all time because you can't trace who is killing all of these people. possibly the art goes all the way back to ancient rome or the early indus river valley civilization.
WAKING UP TO NOTHING WHEN YOU'RE SUPER FAR FROM HOME
i watch you fall asleep at night and lay there on my own / asyli & storage & characters & Asyli#1743
⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺got me begging for affection, all you do is roll your eyes

Offline Seliane

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Re: ⌠ I COULD HIT THAT REFRESH AND FORGET — STORAGE ⌡
« Reply #10 on: May 13, 2018, 07:21:16 PM »
/slides in like butter
hellooo, i haven't really been all that active lately... just lurking <3
让汹涌的海面也安静温柔,
花黑暗裡开放, ()  海面一轮月光;
那神秘的地方, my beautiful black pearl
                   

Offline SULTAN

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Re: ⌠ I COULD HIT THAT REFRESH AND FORGET — STORAGE ⌡
« Reply #11 on: May 13, 2018, 07:31:43 PM »
track!!
and dittoing seli but i am always here 2 support and love you whenever i can ):
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Re: ⌠ I COULD HIT THAT REFRESH AND FORGET — STORAGE ⌡
« Reply #12 on: May 13, 2018, 09:04:25 PM »
i love breaking the system i guess



also, that's alright! i know y'all have been really busy lately and i just wanted to tag you just so i had some connection left, ya know? owfeijwof i love y'all with my whole heart??
WAKING UP TO NOTHING WHEN YOU'RE SUPER FAR FROM HOME
i watch you fall asleep at night and lay there on my own / asyli & storage & characters & Asyli#1743
⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺got me begging for affection, all you do is roll your eyes

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Re: ⌠ I COULD HIT THAT REFRESH AND FORGET — STORAGE ⌡
« Reply #13 on: May 15, 2018, 03:12:05 PM »
i have to go to work soon but i wanted to save these before i go, they're hanahaki's old tags and i don't want to keep the ff tab open longer than i have too. just a note for my future self: remember to go back and really decide whether he should be from ancient japan, ancient korea or ancient china because i'm not sure... i was thinking japan because hanahaki is japanese so it would make more sense but, again, i'm not sure. also, change his faceclaim because i'm using ahn jaehyun for heloise.

Spoiler: show
ALL I WANT IS THE TASTE THAT YOUR LIPS ALLOW
ღ hanahaki | hana, haki, hannah, hanny | h-aw-na-ha-key.
ღ hana’s original name or birth name was kwon yeaonsu.
ღ gender neutral | dmab | he/she or they/them | uncaring.
ღ demi-homosexual | demi-homoromantic | monogamous.
ღ 25 months physically | 28 years mentally | a young adult.
ღ born: july 7, 425 ce | immortal | 1592 years old spiritually.
ღ member of colouredclan | no titles | [un]official lover boy.
ღ spirit of love, god of unrequited love, the ancient servant.
ღ human au | voice reference | ahn jaehyun.

WE'LL PLAY HIDE AND SEEK TO TURN THIS AROUND
ღ single | no past relationships | no planned relationships.
ღ no current crush | 0 maybes crushes | likely uninterested.
ღ NPC x NPC | generation 1 | no mentor and no apprentice.
ღ hanahaki is not currently a member of any major family.
ღ hana is incapable of being loved due to his godly curse.
ღ can feel love and crave it but it likely won't be reciprocated.
ღ if feelings are reciprocated hana will likely cry like a bitch.
ღ very untrusting in relationships, distant, waiting for failure.
ღ he just wants to be loved dammit but he knows he can't be.
ღ he has a difficult time making friends and often ends up alone.
ღ hana has no family and no one they consider to be like family.
ღ ½ of nothing.

YOU KNOW I'LL FIGHT MY CORNER AND TONIGHT I'LL CALL
ღ wondered for a thousand years before settling in colouredclan.
ღ cursed to live forever giving others the same heartbroken feeling.
ღ he led to the death of jungsue, told that he would never be loved.
ღ ended up being cursed by the gods for making a foolish wish.
ღ hana made a deal with the gods to make jungsue love him instead.
ღ was told by a love spirit that jungsue was his one true love, soulmate.
ღ banished from the kingdom after trying to tell jungsue about it.
ღ koh sunok (prince's love) took to pushing and abusing hanahaki.
ღ tried to tell the prince about his feelings but was turned down.
ღ learned that jungsue was in love with a pretty girl, heartbroken.
ღ slowly he fell in love with kim jungsue (the silla kingdom's prince).
ღ sold by his parents to work as the crowned prince's personal servant.
ღ he was born as kwon yeaonsu in the silla kingdom of ancient korea.

THAT BOY WENT STONE COLD CRAZY, CAUGHT IN CAMERA LUST
ღ hana was born a little over fifteen-hundred years ago in the silla kingdom of ancient korea, just after the unification and advancement away from tribe-like chiefdom. he was born to kwon yeonggang and kwon minseok, a lower class artisan based family, hana was the third eldest of seven children and one of the very few to be healthy enough to be of use to his family. when it became clear that his family was struggling and could no longer care for their children, yeonggang sold his healthiest son to the local noble; it pained him to do so but with the combined amount of money they would receive and the fact yeaonsu would have a chance at a better life was simply too hard to pass up. hana would work with the noble for a solid five years before the noble instructed him to follow him to the palace of the king, where, he was bought into the royal service to specifically act as the crowned prince’s servant and comrade.
ღ hana spent years with the prince (considering that around his time he would have been fifteen when sold to the royal family, having served the noble since he was ten), they grew up together and became as close as brothers. hana slowly began to develop feelings for jungsue, feelings that were far beyond the scope of friendship and brotherhood, fuck, this boy was so in love and enamored by the prince it’s not even funny. now, the time period that yeaonsu was born into was not a time where homosexuality was allowed, where it was normal, and where you could actually live with - especially not with the influence coming from china and it isn’t hard to understand that when yeaonsu told jungsue about his feelings (despite feeling the same way, unfortunately) the prince denounced and cast him away to work as a lower servant in the palace.

ღ hana spent a few years as a lowly servant in the palace, heartbroken, alone, and pushed around by many of the other servants for the fact he had been stupid enough to be demoted. however, none of that could really compare to the broken emptiness that ensued after learning that jungsue had fallen in love with a beautiful girl named koh sunok; a woman who was not fond of the way yeaonsu would watch jungsue, would try to talk to him despite the cold shoulder he was always given and promptly did what she thought was best to shut the servant down and to show him his place as a royal servant. slowly, yeaonsu grew used to her aggressive behavior, the endless hours of work, the beatings by the guards, he grew used to it all because it distracted him from the ache in his heart. however, once the beatings began pushing into the territory where he couldn’t complete his duties hana brought his concerns to jungsue, who finally decided to listen to him. jungsue was outraged by yeaonsu’s accusations (and still struggling through his own emotions and feelings) and decided that the best course of action was to banish his once friend from the silla kingdom.
ღ after his banishment, yeaonsu decided that he would simply wait for death in the wilds of the goguryeo kingdom, far too heartbroken to care about his own well-being anymore. as sad as it sounded, jungsue was one of his only reasons for living, he was the only thing hana had ever known. so, when yeaonsu was approached by a wild trickster spirit (of who claimed himself a love spirit) and was told that jungsue had, indeed, been his one true love and ultimately his soulmate (the only truth the trickster would ever speak). the trickster spirit promised to help hana to get jungsue to love him back but hana did not know that the deal that he would make was nothing more than a lie and that his trust and hope of finally having jungsue love him caused the downfall and murder of hundreds upon hundreds of people. hana was forced to watch the death of his beloved.
ღ jungsue’s last words to hana were: “no one will ever love you, yeonsu.”
ღ the true love spirits found out what had happened and what hanahaki had done, outraged they appeared before the heartbroken and destroyed boy and cursed him to live forever with the pain of his unrequited love and the fact that he was the reason his love had died. they replaced his heart with a flower that would constantly remind him of his loveless existence and, to add more salt to the wound, they made hanahaki a love spirit whose one job was to make others hurt in the way he has hurt.
ღ he changed his name to hanahaki after throwing up the petals of the flower that resided as his heart, the name is a japanese word/s which simply translates to “flower vomiting”.
ღ hana is a love spirit, however, not really what you would think of when you hear of a love spirit. his job isn’t fancy and it isn’t built around bringing people together to spend eternity in blissful happiness. due to his curse, hana is a love spirit who brings misfortune and heartache wherever he goes; his job is to act as the spirit of unrequited or sad love, forbidden and unobtainable. along with being the spirit of love, throughout his thousand year lifespan hanahaki has come to be known as the god of unrequited love and heartbreak, you can see that he’s like… opposite cupid, i suppose.
ღ the hanahaki disease is a fictional disease that comes when one suffers through unrequited love (love that is no mutual, one-sided love). essentially, the one experiencing the love begins to throw up flower petals from a plant/flower that has started to grow inside of their chest and feeds off of the love that person has for the other. this flower will kill it’s host if the plant is not removed from their chest or if the one-sided love because reciprocated love (the other comes to love them too, making it requited love).
ღ hanahaki does not have a heart, well, no, he does have a heart but it’s slightly different than the one everyone else has. in the place where his actual heart would reside is a large and full red rose that has wound its thorny stem and roots around all of his organs (he has the hanahaki disease himself) but unlike others who share this fate, hana is incapable of dying from it. he lives each moment with the tightening of the flower as a reminder of the foolishness of want.

OH, GIVE ME LOVE
ღ mental stability: 86%
ღ infp-t — the mediator | gryffindor.
ღ disorders: chronic depression.
— he doesn’t trust people, which should be a given considering how it was his foolishness and blind trust had caused the death of many innocent people, including the man he loved. it takes a long time for trust to build in hana and even if you were to save his life or to put yours in danger for him you may still have to work for it. he’s a very closed off and personal person who almost refuses to talk about himself in any form and will avoid all questions about himself, his past, or anything else that he doesn’t feel comfortable revealing. this makes him very defensive and very standoffish, preferring to be something of a rude brat to keep people from wanting to get too close or caring about him in any fashion, it’s simply easier to make people hate him instead of allowing himself to open up and to keep them from knowing exactly who he truly is. so, in short, he comes off as one of the biggest assholes you could ever imagine, like he has no care for anyone in this world but himself, like he puts himself above others because of his status as a love spirit and a god. again, he doesn’t truly see himself as above anyone else (his days as a lowly servant have served to humble him beyond how he may act) and sort of views his entire persona as an act created to keep the little broken heart on the inside shielded from even more pain.

IT HITS MY HEAD AND I FEEL NUMB
ღ emotional manipulation | discovered — mastered.

AND IT'S BEEN A WHILE BUT I STILL FEEL THE SAME
ღ legendary mentally | medium physically | somewhat trained.
ღ may accidentally start fights | he will always defend himself.
ღ hana will usually avoid killing but will do what he has to do.
ღ hana doesn't have an opinion on war and violence, uncaring.
ღ attack in bold WHITE or you may be ignored or overlooked.
ღ ask for capture or injury - pm this account.
ღ can powerplay peaceful or nonviolent actions.
ღ he refuses to be touched, will react violently.
——ღ no one is allowed any kind of touch.
WAKING UP TO NOTHING WHEN YOU'RE SUPER FAR FROM HOME
i watch you fall asleep at night and lay there on my own / asyli & storage & characters & Asyli#1743
⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺got me begging for affection, all you do is roll your eyes

Offline astraea

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Re: ⌠ I COULD HIT THAT REFRESH AND FORGET — STORAGE ⌡
« Reply #14 on: May 16, 2018, 11:29:32 AM »
bb didn't even alert me to the tag?? smh track
but yes i am always here 2 support u asyli i love chuuuu <3
astraea ✧ semi adv. to adv. roleplayer ✧ bst ✧ ask.fm