Author Topic: AND IN MY HEAD I'D SING APOLOGIES AND STARE / private  (Read 515 times)

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AND IN MY HEAD I'D SING APOLOGIES AND STARE / private
« on: October 10, 2018, 11:31:38 PM »
triggers: past abuse, smoking, alcohol, mental illness, drugs probably theres definitely gonna be weed, slef harm, destructive behaviour?, suicidal thoughts
@leginaga.

ever since fleeing the states, mickey had been.. lonely. there was a void in his chest that no amount of alcohol, no number of strippers, and no amount of xanax could fill. it didn't matter how much he tried to distract himself, no matter how hard he worked or how hard he tried to sleep, he still felt.. empty. there had been nights where he would stare at ian's contact in his phone for hours through the night, tempted to call him but.. with what he had seen online, he was doing just fine without him.

but recently, mickey had just felt.. horrible. he had started walking the streets in the middle of the night, actively hoping he might get mugged and the robber would just.. shoot him down. at least the empty feeling would be gone, right? that was what he was doing currently, walking the streets of the large city slowly. he sighed shakily as he moved along, not even paying attention when he bumped into someone, making a soft noise and looking up to see someone familiar.. though he couldn't remember meeting anyone with black hair and those eyes, and those freckles, and it didn't really register that it was ian. he blinked, stepping back a bit, looking away. while ian had changed his own appearance, so had mickey. he had let his natural hair colour (he had gotten blonde hair from his mother), and wore coloured contacts so that his blue eyes were now a bright and vibrant green. his hair seemed to fall into his face, and he made a tiny, sad noise. "sorry." he mumbled.
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Re: AND IN MY HEAD I'D SING APOLOGIES AND STARE / private
« Reply #1 on: October 11, 2018, 06:27:21 AM »
Contrary to what Mickey seemed to think, Ian was not doing just fine without him. In fact, he was doing worse and worse as time went on. When he and Mickey had first parted ways at the border, Ian had been... Devastated. He'd spent weeks in a depressive state that not even his medicine could begin to scrape him out of, and had just wanted to throw himself out the back of the fucking EMT ambulance. Eventually he got out of it, but then he had thrown himself into his borderline obsession with Trevor, and then he had gone off of his meds, and all of the 'gay Jesus' stuff had started, and then he had blown up a van, and now... Now he was fucking wanted, and he had bolted before his trial. He was doing horribly, and the only place he had thought to go was Mexico. Where he was last happy.

Of course, Ian hadn't properly thought out a lot of his plan. He realized when he got to Mexico that he didn't have a number for Mickey, and he didn't have the right money, and he didn't have anywhere to stay, and he immediately felt a sense of panic as he walked down the streets, carrying his bag and shakily typing on his phone how to exchange his money. Of course, he was so distracted that he didn't even realize anybody was coming towards him until Mickey walked straight into him. He stepped back, immediately mumbling apologies, before freezing when he saw the shorter male. Yes, Mickey looked very different than the last time he saw him, with the longer blonde hair, and the green contacts, but it wasn't like he was just going to forget the love of his life's face. Staring down at Mickey for a moment, he said softly after a moment, "M... Mickey...?"
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Re: AND IN MY HEAD I'D SING APOLOGIES AND STARE / private
« Reply #2 on: October 11, 2018, 11:48:56 AM »
mickey froze when he heard his name- he hadn’t been using it here, going by ‘david’ and telling everyone that was his name. he let out a soft breath, looking up towards ian. “who.. ian..?” he mumbled, eyes widening.
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Re: AND IN MY HEAD I'D SING APOLOGIES AND STARE / private
« Reply #3 on: October 11, 2018, 12:26:43 PM »
Ian quickly nodded and moved to wrap his arms around the other, hugging him tightly and nuzzling into his neck as he mumbled softly, "Yeah, yeah, it's me... I can't believe I managed to find you so quickly..."
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Re: AND IN MY HEAD I'D SING APOLOGIES AND STARE / private
« Reply #4 on: October 11, 2018, 12:34:50 PM »
mickey instantly hugged back, feeling tears pool in his eyes. he let out a shaky breath and nuzzled his shoulder, gripping his shirt tightly and trying to calm himself. “w.. what are you doing here? last time i checked the news you seemed to be doing just fine, mr. ‘gay jesus’..”
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Re: AND IN MY HEAD I'D SING APOLOGIES AND STARE / private
« Reply #5 on: October 11, 2018, 02:24:09 PM »
Ian shook his head wildly from side to side and said, his eyes a bit wide, "I seemed to be doing fine? Fuck no! I was off my meds, and I blew up a fucking van, and I'm supposed to be on trial right now.."
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Re: AND IN MY HEAD I'D SING APOLOGIES AND STARE / private
« Reply #6 on: October 11, 2018, 02:30:44 PM »
he pulled away and stared at him, whacking him over the head. “you idiot!” he said. “you went off your mess? are you fucking-“ he cut himself off as he was about to say ‘insane’ realising it wasn’t the best word choice. “are you fucking stupid?” he asked softly, seeming worried as he set his hands on his cheeks gently.
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Re: AND IN MY HEAD I'D SING APOLOGIES AND STARE / private
« Reply #7 on: October 11, 2018, 02:42:40 PM »
Isn winced as Mickey whacked him, and he waited until the other was done ranting before he said softly, "Yes, I am. I'm back on them, I promise, but I did a lot of stupid shit after I went back home and you were here.."
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Re: AND IN MY HEAD I'D SING APOLOGIES AND STARE / private
« Reply #8 on: October 11, 2018, 02:50:06 PM »
he made a soft noise and pulled him back into a hug. “fuck..” he breathed and squeezed his eyes shut.
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Re: AND IN MY HEAD I'D SING APOLOGIES AND STARE / private
« Reply #9 on: October 11, 2018, 02:59:43 PM »
Hugging back, Ian nuhzzled at the other's ear and said softly, frowning, "I missed you so much... I panicked at the idea of going to jail, and you were the only person I could think of to go to..."
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Re: AND IN MY HEAD I'D SING APOLOGIES AND STARE / private
« Reply #10 on: October 11, 2018, 03:01:54 PM »
he sniffed and nodded. “let’s get you to my place.. you look exhausted.” mickey didn’t look too great either.
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Re: AND IN MY HEAD I'D SING APOLOGIES AND STARE / private
« Reply #11 on: October 11, 2018, 03:05:47 PM »
Ian nodded and said, gently nuzzling the other's jaw before stepping away, "Yeah... You don't look that good either, Mick... You seem sick.."
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Re: AND IN MY HEAD I'D SING APOLOGIES AND STARE / private
« Reply #12 on: October 11, 2018, 03:08:19 PM »
he hesitated. “not sick just.. really high and very tired..” he mumbled.
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Re: AND IN MY HEAD I'D SING APOLOGIES AND STARE / private
« Reply #13 on: October 11, 2018, 07:34:00 PM »
Blinking, Ian frowned and said softly as he gently took the other's hand, "Really high? You're high right now? You don't seem like it.."
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Re: AND IN MY HEAD I'D SING APOLOGIES AND STARE / private
« Reply #14 on: October 11, 2018, 07:34:58 PM »
he hesitated and looked away. he wasn’t high on weed or anything. more like.. xanax.
★ ──────────── {⋅. .⋅} ──────────── ★
SO BOTTOMS UP, LETS FORGET TONIGHT