Author Topic: liquid guilt p.  (Read 78 times)

Offline pari.

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liquid guilt p.
« on: November 29, 2018, 12:30:37 PM »
All she felt was a total lack of control.

It was a foreign feeling, in all twenty-one years of her life, she had never felt completely helpless. It was as if she were cradling water in her hands, no matter what she did, it would slip through the cracks she thought she had sealed. The harder she tried to keep things within her grasps, it only continued to seep through, trickling slowly right before her eyes. Practically teasing her to just give up and allow the world around her to collapse. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't. Instead, she much rather pluck out all of her hair before giving in like that.

She wanted her life back on a leash, a short chain she could yank on when it felt as if it were wandering a little too far for comfort. She wanted control when things felt as if they were spiralling, and yet she didn't have that power. She never did, really. While she knew that, it didn't stop her from completely chewing off her nails out of stress. Even her grades were dropping, which was almost unheard of for her. A straight A student since third grade, she had no idea how her maths grade had plummeted to a solid C. As well as a B in history.

Despite all this, Maia still struggled to admit that she needed help. Not in her classes, she could handle that on her own, however her life on the other hand could use some more work. She just wasn't sure if she wanted to go to the exact person she despised in search of said help.

"Can you just stop fucking biting your nails? I swear to god, they already look gross, they don't need you chomping them off as well."

"Oh shut up, you're the one watching me!" Maia all but snapped back. She knew her dorm mate meant well, but she often preferred to brood in silence without Sylvia's ever roaming eyes on her at the moment.

"Can you just ask-"

"And completely lose any pride and dignity I have? No, thanks."

"Then the school's just gonna keep winning? I know you're stubborn or whatever, but we both know that we have to at least try and get the other party to agree with us so we can work together and I don't know, save the school." Sylvia paired her speech with some flippant hand movements, flailing her dainty hand through the air as if she were waving away the years of bad blood. If only it were that easy.

"We can figure it out on our own," Maia mumbled in response, clicking her pen against her notebook with a bit of force, "Just trust me."

"Thing is, I don't. And M, I've never not trusted you before, so please? For both of our sakes, text them." The desperation in Sylvia's tone almost caught Maia off guard, though, the girl knew how to be convincing whenever she tried. And although they held an intense staring contest for about a minute, they both know who came out as the winner.

from: maia w.
we gonna talk abt this school thing or what?
sent: 3:59pm

@vix
     
MAIA.
I GUESS I'M TIRED OF TALK OF HOPE,
i've learned that doves and ravens fly the same.