Author Topic: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.  (Read 498 times)

Offline elysian.

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Re: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.
« Reply #15 on: January 19, 2019, 11:14:14 AM »
addy douglas.
improbable. ouch. what made the other think that him hooking up with someone was so improbable? he glared over at the other- only for it to slowly fade into a confident smirk, his arms crossing his chest. while he’d previously felt defensive, he found himself only growing more and more smug. for once, lucerne didn’t know something. of course, addy knew everything he’d said was false- but that didn’t mean he was going to point it out to lucerne. the little bastard deserved to have that nasty expression wiped off his face.

“oh, what’s that? got any ideas, lucerne?” he asked as the other mumbled a small ‘hmm.’ and.. admittedly, it was nice to feel like he was back on top again. lucerne almost always tried to outdo him, but here addy was. reigning victorious. he couldn’t help but laugh at the other man, skirting around past him as he mocked, “that’s what i thought.” at least lucerne had been swept off the trail that maybe, maybe, addy was dressed to impress (if you could call it that) for lucerne. because he very much had been.

victory never tasted so sweet.

though, this next challenge seemed like fuckin’ mount everest compared to the previous one of simply trying to outsmart the clever man. how could he possibly sober lucerne up? he was sitting at about a 0% success rate of helping those with addiction, babysitting them and looking out for them. lucerne was just going to be another failure on the list, wasn’t he? he gazed at the other. shaky hands. unusually quiet. somber. addy was going to make lucerne’s life hell. as a result, lucerne was going to make addy’s life hell because of it. and why did addy want to put himself through that? the somber lucerne was only pulling at his heart strings, telling him to just fuckin’ help the poor man. lucerne didn’t need to know about his past failures with helping others recover. he just needed the help.

that didn’t mean he wasn’t seething at the other’s outburst. he’d been shocked, but for a while, he still felt the mild anger running through his veins. “y’know, i’ll let you in on a little secret,” he settled on saying, watching the other for a moment before saying, users go out and take drugs with their friends. maybe once a week, tops, at some party scenes.” he gazed at the other long and hard as he added, addicts are the ones who get high when they’re alone. and try and keep that part of them a secret. doesn’t that sound about right, lu?” lu. what an adorable nickname. he studied the other carefully before sighing to himself, shaking his head and gazing around the bedroom. lucerne was painfully addicted- and addy honestly didn’t want to stick around to see the withdrawals he’d experience.

but he’d signed himself up for this, hadn’t he?

it’d be bad for her heart? addy momentarily tried to wrap his mind around the words, but lucerne was always so fucking confusing that he didn’t even try and pick apart the words. he wasn’t going to tell his mom. so his drug money was just going to keep coming, wasn’t it? this was going to be so fucking hard. “you bet your ass you’re going cold turkey,” he immediately shot back at the other, gazing at him with slightly narrowed eyes. “nice try, though.” cold turkey wasn’t exactly the best way to go, but for lucerne, it really seemed like the only option.

he slid over to sit on the edge of the bed beside lucerne, taking a long drag as the other talked about his roommate and nodding to himself. he took his time to answer the other’s question, holding the smoke in his longs before slowly releasing it out into the air. “because withdrawal symptoms are a bitch, that’s why,” he answered simply, eyes squinting slightly in thought. somebody had to be available to help lucerne through the first week, at least. “they’re usually pretty bad the first week. if you get past it, then it might be smooth sailing for you.”

might. because addy had never witnessed someone make it through the first week. “here, i’ll give you the fuckin’ choice. do you want your roommate watching over you this week, or would you rather throw a fuckin’ slumber party and have me up your ass about it?” staying even one night with lucerne would make addy lose his mind, he knew it. how his roommate did it, he’d never know. however, if he was going to be so committed to the other recovering from this addiction, he might as well make the offer, right?

Offline truce.

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Re: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.
« Reply #16 on: January 23, 2019, 02:47:08 PM »

I WAS IN A FOG, I DIDN'T NOTICE EVERYTHING
WAS COMING ALL APART INSIDE OF ME
THERE WASN'T ANY WAY FOR ANYONE TO SETTLE IN
YOU MADE A SLOW DISASTER OUT ME
...
~ you were a kindness by the national



a
WILHELM LUCERNE NOUVEL.

Lucerne slowly allowed his eyes to shut, mainly to keep Addy's smug look on his face out of sight, but it was most definitely not out of mind. He slowly exhaled with slight vexation; he was thoroughly aware that Addy knew Lucerne had nothing to say, mostly because there was nothing to say. He was unable to read Addy, predict something - anything about the man's previous whereabouts. With Addy's ridiculously prideful response, it only caused Lucerne's eyes to snap open again, eyebrows furrowed at he visibly scanned across the redhead's body for any sign to prove him wrong. Lucerne hated losing.

"That's what I thought." Addy said, evidently self-satisfied, and Lucerne had enough of the humiliation. "Your shirt still has creases from where it had been folded... Unless the date you had before you chose to visit me was incredibly short - an hour at most - I doubt you dressed up for anybody else but me else the crease would have disappeared by now." He began to smile slyly. "But, of course, what would I know about your life? I don't know a thing, apparently!... I do hope that I'm correct though - not for my sake but yours - because it would be very humiliating for you if you were to leave your date so early. What? Did she not enjoy herself?" Of course, Lucerne would act dramatic; it was what he was best at. Yet, regardless, he was very pleased with himself - after all, he knew that he was smart. His brain would rot if he couldn't prove it.

And so, that would be the reason why Lucerne would make things difficult for Addy... Well, that and the fact that he was so dependent on his fix that life seemed pointless without it. Though, even with that in mind, the sudden outburst over his fear of losing his only friend came to a surprise to Lucerne. He never usually allowed for himself to get so wound up, never to the point of snapping at somebody. A Lucerne who was not cool and composed was usually a Lucerne who was afraid of something. In this case, it was a lot more than simply the drugs. Addy was suggesting that Lucerne needed help. Help was only for people who were troubled. Lucerne was okay. Nobody needed to help him if he was fine - that made him afraid. Was he not fine?

But, Addy seemed to know exactly how to make things worse. Lucerne fell silent very quickly as Addy spoke. He was beginning to see where Addy was coming from... And he was right. For somebody so smart, it seemed as if Lucerne was too naive to realize Addy was a specialist in drugs and the people involved - an addict in a crowd would stand out too clearly for him, and Lucerne only assisted him in providing all the extra information that he needed to know. Lucerne exhaled slowly, eyes flitting across Addy's face almost guiltily. Addy was right, but Lucerne wouldn't give Addy that satisfaction. But, his silence already seemed to clearly indicate that Addy was more than right; Lucerne was just an addict.

Sat at the bottom of his bed, Lucerne wondered what he'd have to do to manage to maintain this said addiction. After all, Addy probably did not care enough about Lucerne to keep this up. He'd probably just stop selling to Lucerne and eventually they'd lose touch with each other. And so, to make up for what he'd lost down the toilet, Lucerne would have to replenish his stock by finding someone else to deal with. This was absolutely ridiculous. With Addy confirming that Lucerne would have to go cold turkey, all the brunet could do was huff, a tiny smile playing on his lips before he had a smoke. "It was worth a try." He shot back calmly, though he already knew that he'd won. Cold turkey? Lucerne wasn't up for that kind of game.

Addy took a seat beside Lucerne, the brunet feeling the bed move beneath him very slightly. Withdrawal symptoms? Oh, Lucerne wasn't worrying about those - he'd not need to get to that point before he could get another fix again. It was such a simple fix, and maybe this time he could find a dealer that wasn't so... Mouthy. "Maybe." Lucerne was quick to assure. Yeah, perhaps it would be easier to start to get over his addiction after a week... But he had no reason to stop in the first place. After all, it was more than just for fun. He needed it to function.

Lucerne took a long drag of his cigarette whilst he sat in thought. So, Addy was beginning to sound more and more serious about trying to help Lucerne... This wasn't very good for Lucerne. And so, Lucerne slowly breathed a plume of smoke out before standing up and glancing down at Addy with a sneer. "That won't be necessary. I can deal with this on my own. So... What was I going to say?" He acted as if he were in thought, wandering to the door frame before theatrically continuing, "Oh yes: bye now. I don't need your help, and I don't need you." He pointed to the way out, squinting dramatically at his dealer. After all, Addy was getting too serious about this... And, that made Lucerne scared and very defensive. He wouldn't allow his own dealer stand in the way of his one and only true passion! It would be silly to assume that Lucerne would give in so easily.
CAN YOU PLEASE STOP TIME?
CAN YOU STOP THE PAIN?

—— INFO. CHARACTERS.

Offline elysian.

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Re: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.
« Reply #17 on: January 23, 2019, 10:48:42 PM »
addy douglas.
addy was a spitfire. there was hardly ever a comment that he couldn’t make some sort of insult back on. it was simply because that’s all he’d done most of his life- well, really he’d just had a lot of situations where he needed some kind of wit to make himself feel better. when your mom’s high on drugs in one room talking about the most random shit, it felt nice to make some snide comment. in the gang, it felt nice to see the smirk get wiped right off of one of those fucker’s lips. usually, though, he wasn’t the one having that look of contempt taken right away, the feeling vanishing as soon as it came.

today seemed to be one of those days, though. he glanced down at his shirt as lucerne talked, again, brushing his hands over the creases as if that would make them go away. his fingers gripped the fabric gently, gaze unmoving from the fabric as the other continued to talk, slowly watching his little lie begin to unravel. there had never really been someone who could make him so speechless all the time. this bastard always found something to say that could get under the redhead’s skin, more than anyone ever could. the bastard was everything that addy couldn’t stand; a drug addict, a rich guy, a.. fucking weirdo, for starters. why did addy even give the slightest shit about him, then? he was silent for a few moments, an obvious sign the other had caught him in the act. “would’ve been a ‘he’,” he corrected, lifting his gaze up from his shirt to stare at the other man. “i’m gay.”

maybe that would really do him in. he’d get him again at some other point; he couldn’t let lucerne think that he was going to win every battle with the redhead. let him have the little bits of confidence he had - that ego went through the fucking roof didn’t it? - while addy pulled ahead and won the feuds slowly but surely. as the other went dead silent at the remark, addy couldn’t help but hum in some form of satisfaction. “you think you’re all smart. and maybe sure, you have a bit of brains. doesn’t mean i’m- fuckin’ stupid.” addy had never cared about getting an education. honestly, he’d been relieved when he’d dropped out and his mother had barely even bat an eye at the news. sure, he didn’t know how to do math, or eloquently speak english, and his knowledge of chemistry and social sciences were lacking- but you learned a thing or two out on the streets.

something seemed… off. addy couldn’t quite place it, even as lucerne got up and wished for him to go away. he sounded so quick to get him out, quick for him to leave, and- “you have another stash, don’t you, motherfucker?” he stared at the other long and hard, almost tempted to start going through the other man’s shit. all of it. he’d rip this house apart because lucerne wasn’t squirming enough. other addicts would act like it’s the end of the world; they’d fall apart right in front of addy if their stash was thrown in the toilet, gone forever. the more he stared at lucerne, though, the less he was convinced that an extra hiding place was at the bottom of this.

pursing his lips for a moment, he took a long drag, staring lucerne down the whole time-- and then began to kick his shoes off, uncaring as he kicked them across the room. he shifted back onto lucerne’s bed a bit more before actually laying down on the plush mattress, staring up at the ceiling. “you want to play this game? let’s fuckin’ play.” the redhead was a competitive little shit; if lucerne thought that this was some way to beat him, or some way for himself to come out on top, he was sorely mistaken. he couldn’t just let lucerne have his way. he wanted to slowly ease into recovery? no way. he was diving in head-fucking-first. he wanted addy to not help him? of course he’d ignore that. the redhead was in too deep, now. lucerne demanded that he leave?

well. tough fucking shit. looks like they were having a slumber party, weren’t they?

fuck, what was he getting himself into? “usually i don’t do sleepovers. and something tells me you’ve probably never had someone stay over,” glancing over the other, he then added, “ever.” taking a long drag as he turned his gaze back up to the ceiling, remarking, “if you make this hell for me, i will fucking kill you. got that?”


Offline truce.

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Re: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.
« Reply #18 on: January 25, 2019, 04:04:31 PM »

I WAS IN A FOG, I DIDN'T NOTICE EVERYTHING
WAS COMING ALL APART INSIDE OF ME
THERE WASN'T ANY WAY FOR ANYONE TO SETTLE IN
YOU MADE A SLOW DISASTER OUT ME
...
~ you were a kindness by the national



a
WILHELM LUCERNE NOUVEL.

As Lucerne spoke, he began to feel a sense of unfaltering pride. As if Addy could possibly outsmart Lucerne and act so smug about it too; Lucerne wouldn't let Addy get away with that too quickly. He wanted to smirk as he finally figured out what he could read from Addy just by observing the redhead and, looking at Addy's reaction, Lucerne was confident to say that he'd hit the nail on the head. Pretentiously watching Addy, he was proud to have finally shut him up. Any verbal quarrel had to be won by Lucerne. He was a very competitive man who insisted that he must always be right.

But then, Addy's next words silenced Lucerne for a moment, the brunet flitting his gaze back to Addy and furrowing his eyebrows. So... Addy was gay. Interesting - Lucerne should have picked up on that sooner. "Right." He finally nodded, eventually throwing in the towel. Lucerne didn't quite know how to respond in a situation like this... Was he supposed to congratulate him or something?... All right. Addy would win this time, but this would be the only time. "I stand corrected." He finally noted, nodding his head slowly.

Addy was proud to win, and Lucerne despised it. Wasn't this just hateful? He frowned at Addy, jutting his lip out very slightly as if he were a child who couldn't have his own way. "I never denied your intelligence." Lucerne pointed out dully, dropping his shoulders slightly as he stared over at the other. Perhaps the two of them both had very different upbringings and, yes, Lucerne had a very logical way of thinking, but he did not doubt for one second that Addy was far from stupid. In a way, he somewhat had a sort of respect for the younger man from the way he saw things. Sure, perhaps his schooling was not as extensive as Lucerne's, but it did not mean he could be fooled easily by the taller man.

Lucerne wanted Addy to leave. Was that too difficult of a command for Addy to follow through with? He narrowed his eyes, tilting his head to the right as he challenged Addy by staring right back at him coldly. But then, his guard collapsed at Addy's false accusation. He squinted, lips parting in surprise before quickly trying to murmur, "Bzsazshah, uh... f- no." He stumbled over words awkwardly, going quiet quietly and thinking before stating, "I should've thought of that... Would've been a fantastic idea." He sighed dramatically, clearing his throat before leaning against the door frame, eyes flitting about. Another stash somewhere else... Lucerne would have to remember that for next time; what a fantastic idea.

Lucerne was calm, however, despite not knowing when he could next have a fix. But, he knew that it would at least be within the next twenty four hours or so before he could save himself the trouble of going cold turkey. If Addy thought that he could save Lucerne like the bloody hero he was trying to be, then he ought to have already known that he was too late. He silently watched as Addy kicked off his shoes, very quickly realizing that this would suddenly become a much more difficult feat. Addy was... Babysitting Lucerne practically. And, he was willing to do so? That was all right... Lucerne would scare him away in no time.

Lucerne hugged his silk robe around his torso, choosing not to break his gaze away from the sight in front of him. Addy sprawled across his bed as if he lived here. What did Lucerne expect from him, though? Of course Addy would be this way, making himself comfortable. Slowly releasing a deep breath, Lucerne wiped his face with the palms of his hands, taking a step to the side before commenting, "Yes. There's a reason I don't usually have people over." Because he had no friends; he just had one. Because he didn't understand the concept of love or lust. Because who would ever want to go home with somebody like Lucerne? "I suppose I should get you a couple blankets and a pillow... For the sofa you'll be sleeping on." Was that a hint? Of course, now get off his bed.

Taking a long drag, Lucerne finally stubbed the cigarette out against the wall, creating an ashy mark on the white paint, before flicking the cigarette butt on the floor heedlessly. "Make things hell for you? Hmph. Don't make me laugh." He theatrically uttered before turning and striding out of the bedroom. Huh. Hypocrite. He sighed dramatically, crawling onto the sofa before curling up, frowning grouchily to himself. He felt like he was being grounded by Addy - this was absolutely ridiculous! He was making things hell for Lucerne, not the other way around. Lucerne rolled his eyes. Addy would regret ever trying to help.
CAN YOU PLEASE STOP TIME?
CAN YOU STOP THE PAIN?

—— INFO. CHARACTERS.

Offline elysian.

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Re: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.
« Reply #19 on: January 27, 2019, 05:30:13 PM »
addy douglas.
lucerne couldn’t stand addy’s company. for a while, the other not enjoying his company had been pretty amusing. he’d never seen someone hate his presence so much. then again, the redhead had made a personal choice to never stick around enough for others to really keep his company. lucerne should’ve felt lucky to have him around, and lucky the redhead found it so amusing. after time, however, the more sass and blatant assholery the other threw his way, the more he began to regret making this decision. but he couldn’t back down, now. lucerne wanted to play this game with him, and damn was he more than ready to play. he couldn’t wait until the other was sick from his withdrawals, unable to function without the help of someone around.

but, thing is, those withdrawal symptoms never came.

the more and more he wished he’d see the other hunched over in the bathroom, puking his guts out profusely, the more disappointed he’d get to see the other man… actually somewhat thriving. addy had never been more frustrated to see someone succeeding in his life. lucerne was up to something, and while addy had thoroughly established there wasn’t a secret stash - yesterday’s fiasco of digging through all of lucerne’s shit, including his roommate’s shit, proved that there was really no stash that lucerne was hiding from him unless that bastard had the drug up his fuckin’ ass.

lucerne was up to something, but addy had no way to prove it. it was the most baffling thing in the fuckin’ world, and he couldn’t even completely wrap his head around it. he had to be up to something. was he skipping his “classes” to go and use drugs? usually whenever lucerne was out and about, addy would go to finish his deals with other clients- having more free time than he’d like to admit because his biggest client was supposedly on a “detox.” tonight, though, he was going to get to the bottom of things.

that was what he told himself as he had laid on the couch, pretending to be knocked out cold as he heard the door quietly open, as lucerne made an almost silent exit. oh, that fucker. that fucker. last thing he wanted to have to do was mess with his sleep schedule to babysit this bastard. didn’t the man realize that sleep was a pretty big fuckin’ deal? whatever. he sat up, blanket pooling around his waist, shirtless (what kind of person wore pajamas to bed except lucerne? crazy people). and then he waited. it felt like forever had passed before lucerne came. mainly because, when addy was pissed, time seemed to fly by way too slowly.

he heard the soft click of the door opening, and it was then that he rested his chin in the palm of his hand, elbow resting on one of his knees drawn to his chest. a knowing smirk. “well. look who decided to show up.” throwing the blanket onto the floor, he then stood up to go closer to lucerne- that smugness quickly being replaced by absolute frustration. grabbing the taller man by the collar, he hissed, “you’re lucky your roommate is asleep, or else you’d be getting your ass fuckin’ handed to you.”

“what’re you doing sneaking out, lucerne? is this why you’re not having withdrawals?” he searched the other’s eyes, sneering in disgust before pushing the other, harshly. “how high are you, bastard?” he didn’t want to admit that this anger was fueled by disappointment. he’d been rooting for this guy, but he hadn’t even tried. why wasn’t he even trying?


Offline truce.

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Re: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.
« Reply #20 on: February 02, 2019, 08:50:12 AM »

I WAS IN A FOG, I DIDN'T NOTICE EVERYTHING
WAS COMING ALL APART INSIDE OF ME
THERE WASN'T ANY WAY FOR ANYONE TO SETTLE IN
YOU MADE A SLOW DISASTER OUT ME
...
~ you were a kindness by the national



a
WILHELM LUCERNE NOUVEL.

Lucerne was smart. Smart and defiant.

And, there was no logical way to overcome the fact that he was being denied of what he needed the most than to take matters into his own hand. After all, Lucerne didn't need Big Brother watching over him like some guardian; he just wished for his free will back before he could possibly feel the treacherous withdrawal begin to kick in. He'd deny the unofficial and unwarranted authority that Addy believed he had over Lucerne because Lucerne knew what was truly in his own best interest. That was to prevent withdrawal symptoms at all cost. He needed that high. He needed that sensation of elevation. He needed to escape his manic head for a while. It was what stopped his brain from rotting.

Maybe tomorrow would be a better time to go cold turkey. Just not today.

He was at the end of his bed, tapping his foot anxiously as beads of sweat dripped from his forehead. He was shivering, body feeling as if it were enduring sub-zero conditions. He couldn't go to sleep this way, this was driving him absolutely insane. It'd been over twelve hours since he'd last had a fix, and it felt as if he was rotting from the inside out. He lowered his head in his hands, huffing a stressed breath before rocking off of the bed and back onto his feet. This was absolutely farcical; he ought to troubleshoot this major complication and defy Addy yet again. He'd been this way for several days now, trying to see how long he could go without his everything, but after some hours it'd simply be too difficult to bear. It felt as if he was being deprived of his oxygen. He was suffocating. He needed his drugs to breathe clear again.

And so, he got changed, pulling on a long coat before silently sneaking out of the house, slow and sure to assure that nobody would wake up. And then, he was free. Wrapping his arms tightly across his chest, his breath shuddered as his body reacted to his body's plea for a fix. Cold sweats rattled through his body, his entire being beginning to ache down to the bone. He needed help, and fast. Swallowing hard, he flitted his gaze worriedly across the road, peering over at the few people walking down the street in the nighttime. And then, he began to run. The very thought of being without what he needed the most was so swiftly driving him mad. His brain screamed for help, body assisting in the torment as he raced, slowing as he reached where he wanted to be. A quiet part of town, beneath an overpass, resided a group of addicts like him. A group of dealers like Addy. Awaiting their next victim.

It was too easy to obtain Heroin. Good. He needed it. There was no time to prepare it to inject and so, as soon as he took the plastic packaging, he stumbled over to a concrete block, messily crushing it before snorting it. A couple of the other people watched over, chuckling quietly with laughter at the man's desperation. But... He needed this. He began to walk home, only moments later the high beginning to hit him like a tonne of bricks. He blinked, pinpoint eyes flitting about before tripping over to the ground. Eyes sinking shut, his mind was in a better place. This was a fantastic world he lived in. A fantastic world without his father. He floated on the spot, elbow resting on the stairs which lead up to a museum. On this cold and bitter night, his heart was warm. He felt alive again. Safe.

When his entire life was overwhelmed with ungovernable shame and violence, this was the only remedy which could make the reminder of his worthlessness and failure to be a good son more manageable. Without it, he was nothing. He turned his head up to look at the sky. Skin numb from the cold; Body numb from the high. Eventually, he slowly levitated back onto his feet, his world shifting ninety degrees effortlessly until he stood on earth yet again. And then, he wobbled his way home. Slowly, carefully, he lowered the door handle before creaking the door open, body going still as his gaze handed on a smug looking Addy. Ah... Addy knew then, he supposed. He leaned his shoulder against the door frame, pacified and nonreactive as he watched Addy approach him and suddenly grab him by the collar. He almost fell over at the sharp tug, body rocking back and forth unsteadily as he tried to regain balance.

He was eerily silent, head bobbing with drowsiness as he tried to keep his eyes on Addy. Addy was frustrated with Lucerne. It was a shame Lucerne did not really care all too much. A push sent Lucerne stumbling backwards, having to hold onto the door frame to keep himself from falling backwards. And then, blinking over to his dealer, he sighed before passively saying, "I'm doing excellent, thank you." Then, silence. His face contorted with confusion momentarily before pointing out plainly, "Wait no, it's - uh - 'hi... how are you?'" And with that, he cleared his throat before straightening up.

"Mmanammah... I concur. You can't see that it's my medicine, hm, and - ah - you cannot grasp that. However, I cease to care. Je m'en fous! The music is playing, and it, er... drowns out the silence. Shakespeare once told me that if music be the food... of life, then play on! Now, excuse me, I must lie down..." He said in a stammering incoherence. Next, he paused in thought for a moment before correcting himself, "Of love." And with that, he attempted to walk passed, shaking a finger at Addy passively along the way.
CAN YOU PLEASE STOP TIME?
CAN YOU STOP THE PAIN?

—— INFO. CHARACTERS.

Offline elysian.

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Re: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.
« Reply #21 on: February 03, 2019, 09:03:34 PM »
addy douglas.
the more addy hung around with lucerne, the more he began to realize the deep shit he was in. it wasn’t like lucerne was trouble so to speak. he was some rich med student who lived in a pig-stye fuckin’ apartment. that wasn’t trouble, and addy knew what trouble looked like. but the thing was that lucerne was… weird. so fuckin’ weird. the more he hung out with the guy, the more he wondered how odd his parents must have been (and how he never wanted to meet the man’s mom because, wow, she must be a fucking hoot).

the thing that he hated the most about the whole ordeal, though, was how he was actually starting to grow fond of the damn bastard.

he didn’t want to say that he cared. didn’t want to admit that he had read more in the last couple weeks than he had his entire life, reading up on how the hell he could help the addict get off of his poison of choice. how to help the other deal with withdrawal symptoms. he didn’t want to admit that he had a soft spot for the weird lucerne nouvel. the man who obviously didn’t give two shits about the redhead trying to help him. lucerne was treating this like some kind of game, ignoring everything that addy seemed to be doing right in the situation. ignoring the bad decisions, too… and addy didn’t want to admit that it hurt. because it really did hurt him.

it hurt to go through so much effort to help someone just to see them fail. it was painful to watch someone make the same mistakes he’d witnessed time and time again. addy usually tried to shove all kinds of feelings out the window, but aside from the smugness on the outside that he’d caught lucerne-- there was an aching in his chest. he felt hurt, betrayed, confused... how could lucerne do this to him? did he not see all the fuckin’ effort he was going through, here? he’d almost wished he had shoved the other out the window when he’d grabbed him by the collar earlier… it was too late, now, though- and the most he could do was just watch the other, and grow more and more frustrated.

“oh fuck you,” he retorted, watching as the other just-- was his usual, weird dipshit self. “i don’t care how you are, bastard. i’m fuckin’ pissed. could care less about you.” the fact that this high dipwad was trying to correct him just frustrated him all the more. shaking his head, he crossed his arms over his chest - because if they were doing anything else, they’d be swinging full-force at lucerne’s damn face - and listened to the addict in front of him. everything lucerne said made little to no sense, though. the redhead could barely wrap his head around what lucerne said when he was sober (or at least as sober as addy had ever seen him).

it wasn’t until the other tried to walk passed that the redhead just snapped. oh, hell no. “like hell you are.” he shuffled in front of the other, placing his arms on the man’s shoulders to stop him from where he was going. “you think this is all some big fuckin’ joke, don’t you? you think this is a game? well i’m not your damn toy, lu.” he knew the other hated that nickname, or any nickname in general. good. suits him. fucker. “i’ve been here for what? way too long for you to think that you can just push me the fuck around. bastard.” aggressively, he moved his arms and gave lucerne a rough shove. because lucerne couldn’t push him like that, but you damn bet that addy would push the other man around. that was just how this worked, alright?

“where the fuck are you getting the drugs, lucerne?” addy knew of his competition - but they weren’t really competition, seeing as he had most of the clients in the city. “what kind of drugs? heroin, cocaine? both?” addy didn’t know how he could possibly punish lucerne for this aside from push him around and make him feel like shit. embarrass the hell out of him. he didn’t know. he hated the way he felt, though- hated that he cared for the high bastard right in front of him. “if you step one foot in your bedroom i am going to beat your ass. and love every moment of it.” the thought of beating the absolute shit out of lucerne seemed way too appealing in that moment.

giving another rough shove, he grunted in frustration. “fucking asshole!”


Offline truce.

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Re: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.
« Reply #22 on: February 12, 2019, 03:38:01 PM »

I WAS IN A FOG, I DIDN'T NOTICE EVERYTHING
WAS COMING ALL APART INSIDE OF ME
THERE WASN'T ANY WAY FOR ANYONE TO SETTLE IN
YOU MADE A SLOW DISASTER OUT ME
...
~ you were a kindness by the national



a
WILHELM LUCERNE NOUVEL.

He was being stuffed like a teddy bear, cotton being shoved into his mouth and sucking up all moisture like a sponge. Lucerne smacked his lips together mindlessly. He needed a glass of water. Addy was speaking to him - or perhaps just opening and closing his mouth like a fish in a fishbowl - but Lucerne could not clearly make out what the redhead could possibly be saying. Sounds blurred, much like a painter mixing a palette of colors together to create a brown concoction. The same color as his precious fix, the one coursing through his body as if the devil has possessed him. From what he could tell, though, Addy was fuming. He could almost see the steam coming out his ears like a kettle boiling. Like in all those cartoons. Addy's reactions were as dramatic as those of a cartoon.

Lucerne wasn't going to say so out loud (mostly because of the cotton stuffed between his cheeks plus the gentle buzzing in his brain hindered the ability to say very much) but he knew that Addy knew that Lucerne had won this little game that they were playing. Addy wanted to defend? Well, Lucerne was always prepared to strike back and attack. And that sure as hell worked swimmingly. Check. Bloody. Mate. Lucerne blinked but his eyelids drooped, and he wanted to lie down for a little while. He clutched onto the door frame, quiet in his blurred contemplation as he watched Addy's mouth moving. He was lost in a sea of confusion, trying to read his lips but all that could pass through his mind was that he wanted to curl up on his bed.

And so, without another word in response to Addy's incoherent bickering, Lucerne attempted to wander off so that he could head to his bedroom, only to be shaken from his dazed thoughts by Addy's hands on his shoulders, preventing him to moving another step forwards. He squinted down at the redhead, moving his head closer to the other slowly. Addy's face was so far away, like being on a boat in the middle of the ocean. It took another moment before he surrendered, trying to listen to Addy's words, the sounds of Earth very slowly coming back to him and returning to his ears like somebody turning the dial of the radio louder again. "Mmmmmmmmmmm- long for you to think that you can just push me the fuck around."

Ah, Addy was enraged. But, why would that surprise Lucerne? A sharp shove sent Lucerne stumbling back out the door he'd just walked through, finding himself back in the corridor of the apartment block. His eyes turned to stare down the corridor, the walls looking as if they were wobbling side to side like waves on a seismograph. He blinked, disorientated, before turning to peer back over at Addy, confused. He stepped back into his apartment, legs wavering as if he were a toddler learning how to walk as he neared Addy, obviously not learning his lesson the first time. He got close up to the redhead, attempting to tower over him but failing miserably as he tried to cling onto the door frame, only to find that he didn't even have the strength to lift his arm up. His muscles were like jelly. No; weights tied his arms down, he was completely helpless.

Nevertheless, he tipped his chin up, a scowl transforming his features before he growled quietly, "Dear Adelbert. Do not affront me when I am high." And with that, he pouted, head bobbing drowsily. Next came the barrage of questions, ones which Lucerne would be happy to answer provided he could prove that he was successful in outsmarting his dealer. "From beneath the overpass in Crescent Way. The best place to purchase drugs in this city, I'd say." He pointed out matter-of-factly, a knowing look on his face that that could very well enrage Addy to hear. After all, those were his competitors. The redhead lost his biggest client - foolish, really.

"Heroin. I felt drawn towards the expectation to feel quietude from the high - it's what I deserve after having to spend the day in your company." He was impudent in his bold words, trying to cock an eyebrow but barely feeling the stretch of his face. He was still for the next few moments before a threat passed Addy's lips. So, Lucerne could not go to bed? "I will take the sofa, in that case." He hummed, attempting to take another step forward before another rough shove sent him backwards again, this time falling to the ground, not really feeling the sensation of his head smacking the floor. He looked like a ragdoll in that very moment, but the fall felt more like a slow motion replay of him landing on the soft bed of clouds that called for his name.

His body sunk into the ground. Oh, what a hospitable mattress, Lucerne could fall asleep here. The bones in his spine, knees, and hips simultaneously melted into the ground below him as time forgot him. He was still on the floor for the moment, blinded by the flickering light above him before he slurred inaudibly to himself, "Tut, I h-have done a thousand dreadful, uh, things as willingly as one could kill a ffffly, and nothing grieves me heartily indeed but t- but that I cannot-" And then silence. Lips parted as he gasped for a soft breath, almost having forgotten to breathe, almost as if his lungs were asleep. And then, he tried to lift a heavy arm up, surrendering himself as he silently begged for a hand to help him up. "Please, please make it stop." He finally uttered, black spots clouding his vision as the light above drilled into his vision.

He didn't like this feeling anymore.
CAN YOU PLEASE STOP TIME?
CAN YOU STOP THE PAIN?

—— INFO. CHARACTERS.

Offline elysian.

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Re: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.
« Reply #23 on: Yesterday at 12:25:44 PM »
addy douglas.
“fucking-- fucking crescent way!? you’re taking the godawful shit they sell at crescent way?” alright. now he was pissed. how desperate could lucerne be, to take whatever shit those guys put out? the best place to purchase drugs- his ass it was. god, he was tempted to knock this fucker out. “you think i won’t kill a motherfucker that steals my clients? you think i won’t? they’re dead fucking meat.” lucerne could care less about who lived and who died, though. lucerne didn’t even seem to care if he himself died. what was even the fucking point of talking to him? staying here? what was the use in any of it?

addy was absolutely fuming at that point, once he’d shoved lucerne to the ground. for a moment as the man lay limp on the floor, he briefly wondered if he’d killed him. good fucking riddance.. oh, but then lucerne started talking again. the redhead couldn’t help but make a face as the other talked to himself, crossing his arms over his chest and rolling his eyes. “you’re a real fuckin’ nutcase, lucerne,” he pointed out as the addict droned on to himself. he breathed a deep sigh and averted his gaze to the ground, waiting for a moment before he turned to leave the room. lu deserved it. this entire time, he’d treated addy like fucking shit. if he was going to be such an ass, then addy wasn’t going to help them. see, after all his time here, he’d started to notice that lucerne didn’t have a heart - so, fair game, addy wouldn’t have a heart either. not for that stupid fucking son of a--

“please, please make it stop.”

he paused. it would’ve been better for addy if he had just continued walking away, retreated to lucerne’s room and took the bed while the other was too weak to tell him not to. though, something compelled him to turn slightly so he could peer over at the man on the floor. arm barely lifted off the floor, outstretched, begging for help up from his spot on the floor. it was a sad sight, and something about it made all the anger subside. it didn’t replace the irritance, the annoyance, but it definitely put something in the anger’s place. sympathy? sadness? regret? addy couldn’t place it. it was the same emotion that had always come with seeing his mother curled up on the floor, crying and laughing in such a somber way. it brought back that same emotion, that same pain. he wanted to run away from it all. this wasn’t a fuckin’ pleasant feeling.

turning, he continued his walk away from the man- but headed to the kitchen, rather than the bedroom. he grabbed a glass from the cupboard, filled it with water, and then… paused. god, addy, what are you doing? leaning against the counter, he brought his free hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose-- but after a deep breath, forced himself to wander back into the living room where lucerne still was. he put the drink on the table before looking at what he had to deal with. “alright,” he breathed as he grabbed lucerne’s hand, grunting with effort as he heaved the man up. fuck- a little help would’ve been nice.” unhelpful ass. once lucerne was sturdy enough, he reached over to the table and grabbed the glass. “here.” he offered it to lucerne, turning his gaze away, then.

as much as addy didn’t want to have a heart, he did. it was an irrefutable fact. he could try and act like he didn’t, try and give lucerne the cold shoulder for being such a fucking bastard -- but he couldn’t succeed. instead, he’d just keep letting himself watch lucerne, watch him try and shake this addiction- only to fall, and disappoint addy every time. disappointment. maybe that was what he was now feeling. he’d put so much hope into lucerne, telling himself that this would be different than when he’d tried to help his mother. now, though, all he saw was lucerne walking in those same footsteps, headed to the same fateful, bitter end. but what did addy care? why should addy care? he gazed at the pitiful state of the man beside him, and honestly… he couldn’t find the answer to the question. not the answer he’d wanted to find, at least.

he reached a hand up to pat lucerne’s back, his hand resting there before he began to guide the other.

“let’s get you to bed, buddy.”