Author Topic: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.  (Read 883 times)

Offline elysian.

  • Posts: 505
    • he/him
    • View Profile
Re: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.
« Reply #15 on: January 19, 2019, 11:14:14 AM »
addy douglas.
improbable. ouch. what made the other think that him hooking up with someone was so improbable? he glared over at the other- only for it to slowly fade into a confident smirk, his arms crossing his chest. while he’d previously felt defensive, he found himself only growing more and more smug. for once, lucerne didn’t know something. of course, addy knew everything he’d said was false- but that didn’t mean he was going to point it out to lucerne. the little bastard deserved to have that nasty expression wiped off his face.

“oh, what’s that? got any ideas, lucerne?” he asked as the other mumbled a small ‘hmm.’ and.. admittedly, it was nice to feel like he was back on top again. lucerne almost always tried to outdo him, but here addy was. reigning victorious. he couldn’t help but laugh at the other man, skirting around past him as he mocked, “that’s what i thought.” at least lucerne had been swept off the trail that maybe, maybe, addy was dressed to impress (if you could call it that) for lucerne. because he very much had been.

victory never tasted so sweet.

though, this next challenge seemed like fuckin’ mount everest compared to the previous one of simply trying to outsmart the clever man. how could he possibly sober lucerne up? he was sitting at about a 0% success rate of helping those with addiction, babysitting them and looking out for them. lucerne was just going to be another failure on the list, wasn’t he? he gazed at the other. shaky hands. unusually quiet. somber. addy was going to make lucerne’s life hell. as a result, lucerne was going to make addy’s life hell because of it. and why did addy want to put himself through that? the somber lucerne was only pulling at his heart strings, telling him to just fuckin’ help the poor man. lucerne didn’t need to know about his past failures with helping others recover. he just needed the help.

that didn’t mean he wasn’t seething at the other’s outburst. he’d been shocked, but for a while, he still felt the mild anger running through his veins. “y’know, i’ll let you in on a little secret,” he settled on saying, watching the other for a moment before saying, users go out and take drugs with their friends. maybe once a week, tops, at some party scenes.” he gazed at the other long and hard as he added, addicts are the ones who get high when they’re alone. and try and keep that part of them a secret. doesn’t that sound about right, lu?” lu. what an adorable nickname. he studied the other carefully before sighing to himself, shaking his head and gazing around the bedroom. lucerne was painfully addicted- and addy honestly didn’t want to stick around to see the withdrawals he’d experience.

but he’d signed himself up for this, hadn’t he?

it’d be bad for her heart? addy momentarily tried to wrap his mind around the words, but lucerne was always so fucking confusing that he didn’t even try and pick apart the words. he wasn’t going to tell his mom. so his drug money was just going to keep coming, wasn’t it? this was going to be so fucking hard. “you bet your ass you’re going cold turkey,” he immediately shot back at the other, gazing at him with slightly narrowed eyes. “nice try, though.” cold turkey wasn’t exactly the best way to go, but for lucerne, it really seemed like the only option.

he slid over to sit on the edge of the bed beside lucerne, taking a long drag as the other talked about his roommate and nodding to himself. he took his time to answer the other’s question, holding the smoke in his longs before slowly releasing it out into the air. “because withdrawal symptoms are a bitch, that’s why,” he answered simply, eyes squinting slightly in thought. somebody had to be available to help lucerne through the first week, at least. “they’re usually pretty bad the first week. if you get past it, then it might be smooth sailing for you.”

might. because addy had never witnessed someone make it through the first week. “here, i’ll give you the fuckin’ choice. do you want your roommate watching over you this week, or would you rather throw a fuckin’ slumber party and have me up your ass about it?” staying even one night with lucerne would make addy lose his mind, he knew it. how his roommate did it, he’d never know. however, if he was going to be so committed to the other recovering from this addiction, he might as well make the offer, right?

Offline truce.

  • Posts: 418
  • . . .
    • View Profile
Re: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.
« Reply #16 on: January 23, 2019, 02:47:08 PM »

I WAS IN A FOG, I DIDN'T NOTICE EVERYTHING
WAS COMING ALL APART INSIDE OF ME
THERE WASN'T ANY WAY FOR ANYONE TO SETTLE IN
YOU MADE A SLOW DISASTER OUT ME
...
~ you were a kindness by the national



a
WILHELM LUCERNE NOUVEL.

Lucerne slowly allowed his eyes to shut, mainly to keep Addy's smug look on his face out of sight, but it was most definitely not out of mind. He slowly exhaled with slight vexation; he was thoroughly aware that Addy knew Lucerne had nothing to say, mostly because there was nothing to say. He was unable to read Addy, predict something - anything about the man's previous whereabouts. With Addy's ridiculously prideful response, it only caused Lucerne's eyes to snap open again, eyebrows furrowed at he visibly scanned across the redhead's body for any sign to prove him wrong. Lucerne hated losing.

"That's what I thought." Addy said, evidently self-satisfied, and Lucerne had enough of the humiliation. "Your shirt still has creases from where it had been folded... Unless the date you had before you chose to visit me was incredibly short - an hour at most - I doubt you dressed up for anybody else but me else the crease would have disappeared by now." He began to smile slyly. "But, of course, what would I know about your life? I don't know a thing, apparently!... I do hope that I'm correct though - not for my sake but yours - because it would be very humiliating for you if you were to leave your date so early. What? Did she not enjoy herself?" Of course, Lucerne would act dramatic; it was what he was best at. Yet, regardless, he was very pleased with himself - after all, he knew that he was smart. His brain would rot if he couldn't prove it.

And so, that would be the reason why Lucerne would make things difficult for Addy... Well, that and the fact that he was so dependent on his fix that life seemed pointless without it. Though, even with that in mind, the sudden outburst over his fear of losing his only friend came to a surprise to Lucerne. He never usually allowed for himself to get so wound up, never to the point of snapping at somebody. A Lucerne who was not cool and composed was usually a Lucerne who was afraid of something. In this case, it was a lot more than simply the drugs. Addy was suggesting that Lucerne needed help. Help was only for people who were troubled. Lucerne was okay. Nobody needed to help him if he was fine - that made him afraid. Was he not fine?

But, Addy seemed to know exactly how to make things worse. Lucerne fell silent very quickly as Addy spoke. He was beginning to see where Addy was coming from... And he was right. For somebody so smart, it seemed as if Lucerne was too naive to realize Addy was a specialist in drugs and the people involved - an addict in a crowd would stand out too clearly for him, and Lucerne only assisted him in providing all the extra information that he needed to know. Lucerne exhaled slowly, eyes flitting across Addy's face almost guiltily. Addy was right, but Lucerne wouldn't give Addy that satisfaction. But, his silence already seemed to clearly indicate that Addy was more than right; Lucerne was just an addict.

Sat at the bottom of his bed, Lucerne wondered what he'd have to do to manage to maintain this said addiction. After all, Addy probably did not care enough about Lucerne to keep this up. He'd probably just stop selling to Lucerne and eventually they'd lose touch with each other. And so, to make up for what he'd lost down the toilet, Lucerne would have to replenish his stock by finding someone else to deal with. This was absolutely ridiculous. With Addy confirming that Lucerne would have to go cold turkey, all the brunet could do was huff, a tiny smile playing on his lips before he had a smoke. "It was worth a try." He shot back calmly, though he already knew that he'd won. Cold turkey? Lucerne wasn't up for that kind of game.

Addy took a seat beside Lucerne, the brunet feeling the bed move beneath him very slightly. Withdrawal symptoms? Oh, Lucerne wasn't worrying about those - he'd not need to get to that point before he could get another fix again. It was such a simple fix, and maybe this time he could find a dealer that wasn't so... Mouthy. "Maybe." Lucerne was quick to assure. Yeah, perhaps it would be easier to start to get over his addiction after a week... But he had no reason to stop in the first place. After all, it was more than just for fun. He needed it to function.

Lucerne took a long drag of his cigarette whilst he sat in thought. So, Addy was beginning to sound more and more serious about trying to help Lucerne... This wasn't very good for Lucerne. And so, Lucerne slowly breathed a plume of smoke out before standing up and glancing down at Addy with a sneer. "That won't be necessary. I can deal with this on my own. So... What was I going to say?" He acted as if he were in thought, wandering to the door frame before theatrically continuing, "Oh yes: bye now. I don't need your help, and I don't need you." He pointed to the way out, squinting dramatically at his dealer. After all, Addy was getting too serious about this... And, that made Lucerne scared and very defensive. He wouldn't allow his own dealer stand in the way of his one and only true passion! It would be silly to assume that Lucerne would give in so easily.
◜ WISH YOU WERE HERE ◞
INFO. CHARACTERS.

Offline elysian.

  • Posts: 505
    • he/him
    • View Profile
Re: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.
« Reply #17 on: January 23, 2019, 10:48:42 PM »
addy douglas.
addy was a spitfire. there was hardly ever a comment that he couldn’t make some sort of insult back on. it was simply because that’s all he’d done most of his life- well, really he’d just had a lot of situations where he needed some kind of wit to make himself feel better. when your mom’s high on drugs in one room talking about the most random shit, it felt nice to make some snide comment. in the gang, it felt nice to see the smirk get wiped right off of one of those fucker’s lips. usually, though, he wasn’t the one having that look of contempt taken right away, the feeling vanishing as soon as it came.

today seemed to be one of those days, though. he glanced down at his shirt as lucerne talked, again, brushing his hands over the creases as if that would make them go away. his fingers gripped the fabric gently, gaze unmoving from the fabric as the other continued to talk, slowly watching his little lie begin to unravel. there had never really been someone who could make him so speechless all the time. this bastard always found something to say that could get under the redhead’s skin, more than anyone ever could. the bastard was everything that addy couldn’t stand; a drug addict, a rich guy, a.. fucking weirdo, for starters. why did addy even give the slightest shit about him, then? he was silent for a few moments, an obvious sign the other had caught him in the act. “would’ve been a ‘he’,” he corrected, lifting his gaze up from his shirt to stare at the other man. “i’m gay.”

maybe that would really do him in. he’d get him again at some other point; he couldn’t let lucerne think that he was going to win every battle with the redhead. let him have the little bits of confidence he had - that ego went through the fucking roof didn’t it? - while addy pulled ahead and won the feuds slowly but surely. as the other went dead silent at the remark, addy couldn’t help but hum in some form of satisfaction. “you think you’re all smart. and maybe sure, you have a bit of brains. doesn’t mean i’m- fuckin’ stupid.” addy had never cared about getting an education. honestly, he’d been relieved when he’d dropped out and his mother had barely even bat an eye at the news. sure, he didn’t know how to do math, or eloquently speak english, and his knowledge of chemistry and social sciences were lacking- but you learned a thing or two out on the streets.

something seemed… off. addy couldn’t quite place it, even as lucerne got up and wished for him to go away. he sounded so quick to get him out, quick for him to leave, and- “you have another stash, don’t you, motherfucker?” he stared at the other long and hard, almost tempted to start going through the other man’s shit. all of it. he’d rip this house apart because lucerne wasn’t squirming enough. other addicts would act like it’s the end of the world; they’d fall apart right in front of addy if their stash was thrown in the toilet, gone forever. the more he stared at lucerne, though, the less he was convinced that an extra hiding place was at the bottom of this.

pursing his lips for a moment, he took a long drag, staring lucerne down the whole time-- and then began to kick his shoes off, uncaring as he kicked them across the room. he shifted back onto lucerne’s bed a bit more before actually laying down on the plush mattress, staring up at the ceiling. “you want to play this game? let’s fuckin’ play.” the redhead was a competitive little shit; if lucerne thought that this was some way to beat him, or some way for himself to come out on top, he was sorely mistaken. he couldn’t just let lucerne have his way. he wanted to slowly ease into recovery? no way. he was diving in head-fucking-first. he wanted addy to not help him? of course he’d ignore that. the redhead was in too deep, now. lucerne demanded that he leave?

well. tough fucking shit. looks like they were having a slumber party, weren’t they?

fuck, what was he getting himself into? “usually i don’t do sleepovers. and something tells me you’ve probably never had someone stay over,” glancing over the other, he then added, “ever.” taking a long drag as he turned his gaze back up to the ceiling, remarking, “if you make this hell for me, i will fucking kill you. got that?”


Offline truce.

  • Posts: 418
  • . . .
    • View Profile
Re: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.
« Reply #18 on: January 25, 2019, 04:04:31 PM »

I WAS IN A FOG, I DIDN'T NOTICE EVERYTHING
WAS COMING ALL APART INSIDE OF ME
THERE WASN'T ANY WAY FOR ANYONE TO SETTLE IN
YOU MADE A SLOW DISASTER OUT ME
...
~ you were a kindness by the national



a
WILHELM LUCERNE NOUVEL.

As Lucerne spoke, he began to feel a sense of unfaltering pride. As if Addy could possibly outsmart Lucerne and act so smug about it too; Lucerne wouldn't let Addy get away with that too quickly. He wanted to smirk as he finally figured out what he could read from Addy just by observing the redhead and, looking at Addy's reaction, Lucerne was confident to say that he'd hit the nail on the head. Pretentiously watching Addy, he was proud to have finally shut him up. Any verbal quarrel had to be won by Lucerne. He was a very competitive man who insisted that he must always be right.

But then, Addy's next words silenced Lucerne for a moment, the brunet flitting his gaze back to Addy and furrowing his eyebrows. So... Addy was gay. Interesting - Lucerne should have picked up on that sooner. "Right." He finally nodded, eventually throwing in the towel. Lucerne didn't quite know how to respond in a situation like this... Was he supposed to congratulate him or something?... All right. Addy would win this time, but this would be the only time. "I stand corrected." He finally noted, nodding his head slowly.

Addy was proud to win, and Lucerne despised it. Wasn't this just hateful? He frowned at Addy, jutting his lip out very slightly as if he were a child who couldn't have his own way. "I never denied your intelligence." Lucerne pointed out dully, dropping his shoulders slightly as he stared over at the other. Perhaps the two of them both had very different upbringings and, yes, Lucerne had a very logical way of thinking, but he did not doubt for one second that Addy was far from stupid. In a way, he somewhat had a sort of respect for the younger man from the way he saw things. Sure, perhaps his schooling was not as extensive as Lucerne's, but it did not mean he could be fooled easily by the taller man.

Lucerne wanted Addy to leave. Was that too difficult of a command for Addy to follow through with? He narrowed his eyes, tilting his head to the right as he challenged Addy by staring right back at him coldly. But then, his guard collapsed at Addy's false accusation. He squinted, lips parting in surprise before quickly trying to murmur, "Bzsazshah, uh... f- no." He stumbled over words awkwardly, going quiet quietly and thinking before stating, "I should've thought of that... Would've been a fantastic idea." He sighed dramatically, clearing his throat before leaning against the door frame, eyes flitting about. Another stash somewhere else... Lucerne would have to remember that for next time; what a fantastic idea.

Lucerne was calm, however, despite not knowing when he could next have a fix. But, he knew that it would at least be within the next twenty four hours or so before he could save himself the trouble of going cold turkey. If Addy thought that he could save Lucerne like the bloody hero he was trying to be, then he ought to have already known that he was too late. He silently watched as Addy kicked off his shoes, very quickly realizing that this would suddenly become a much more difficult feat. Addy was... Babysitting Lucerne practically. And, he was willing to do so? That was all right... Lucerne would scare him away in no time.

Lucerne hugged his silk robe around his torso, choosing not to break his gaze away from the sight in front of him. Addy sprawled across his bed as if he lived here. What did Lucerne expect from him, though? Of course Addy would be this way, making himself comfortable. Slowly releasing a deep breath, Lucerne wiped his face with the palms of his hands, taking a step to the side before commenting, "Yes. There's a reason I don't usually have people over." Because he had no friends; he just had one. Because he didn't understand the concept of love or lust. Because who would ever want to go home with somebody like Lucerne? "I suppose I should get you a couple blankets and a pillow... For the sofa you'll be sleeping on." Was that a hint? Of course, now get off his bed.

Taking a long drag, Lucerne finally stubbed the cigarette out against the wall, creating an ashy mark on the white paint, before flicking the cigarette butt on the floor heedlessly. "Make things hell for you? Hmph. Don't make me laugh." He theatrically uttered before turning and striding out of the bedroom. Huh. Hypocrite. He sighed dramatically, crawling onto the sofa before curling up, frowning grouchily to himself. He felt like he was being grounded by Addy - this was absolutely ridiculous! He was making things hell for Lucerne, not the other way around. Lucerne rolled his eyes. Addy would regret ever trying to help.
◜ WISH YOU WERE HERE ◞
INFO. CHARACTERS.

Offline elysian.

  • Posts: 505
    • he/him
    • View Profile
Re: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.
« Reply #19 on: January 27, 2019, 05:30:13 PM »
addy douglas.
lucerne couldn’t stand addy’s company. for a while, the other not enjoying his company had been pretty amusing. he’d never seen someone hate his presence so much. then again, the redhead had made a personal choice to never stick around enough for others to really keep his company. lucerne should’ve felt lucky to have him around, and lucky the redhead found it so amusing. after time, however, the more sass and blatant assholery the other threw his way, the more he began to regret making this decision. but he couldn’t back down, now. lucerne wanted to play this game with him, and damn was he more than ready to play. he couldn’t wait until the other was sick from his withdrawals, unable to function without the help of someone around.

but, thing is, those withdrawal symptoms never came.

the more and more he wished he’d see the other hunched over in the bathroom, puking his guts out profusely, the more disappointed he’d get to see the other man… actually somewhat thriving. addy had never been more frustrated to see someone succeeding in his life. lucerne was up to something, and while addy had thoroughly established there wasn’t a secret stash - yesterday’s fiasco of digging through all of lucerne’s shit, including his roommate’s shit, proved that there was really no stash that lucerne was hiding from him unless that bastard had the drug up his fuckin’ ass.

lucerne was up to something, but addy had no way to prove it. it was the most baffling thing in the fuckin’ world, and he couldn’t even completely wrap his head around it. he had to be up to something. was he skipping his “classes” to go and use drugs? usually whenever lucerne was out and about, addy would go to finish his deals with other clients- having more free time than he’d like to admit because his biggest client was supposedly on a “detox.” tonight, though, he was going to get to the bottom of things.

that was what he told himself as he had laid on the couch, pretending to be knocked out cold as he heard the door quietly open, as lucerne made an almost silent exit. oh, that fucker. that fucker. last thing he wanted to have to do was mess with his sleep schedule to babysit this bastard. didn’t the man realize that sleep was a pretty big fuckin’ deal? whatever. he sat up, blanket pooling around his waist, shirtless (what kind of person wore pajamas to bed except lucerne? crazy people). and then he waited. it felt like forever had passed before lucerne came. mainly because, when addy was pissed, time seemed to fly by way too slowly.

he heard the soft click of the door opening, and it was then that he rested his chin in the palm of his hand, elbow resting on one of his knees drawn to his chest. a knowing smirk. “well. look who decided to show up.” throwing the blanket onto the floor, he then stood up to go closer to lucerne- that smugness quickly being replaced by absolute frustration. grabbing the taller man by the collar, he hissed, “you’re lucky your roommate is asleep, or else you’d be getting your ass fuckin’ handed to you.”

“what’re you doing sneaking out, lucerne? is this why you’re not having withdrawals?” he searched the other’s eyes, sneering in disgust before pushing the other, harshly. “how high are you, bastard?” he didn’t want to admit that this anger was fueled by disappointment. he’d been rooting for this guy, but he hadn’t even tried. why wasn’t he even trying?


Offline truce.

  • Posts: 418
  • . . .
    • View Profile
Re: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.
« Reply #20 on: February 02, 2019, 08:50:12 AM »

I WAS IN A FOG, I DIDN'T NOTICE EVERYTHING
WAS COMING ALL APART INSIDE OF ME
THERE WASN'T ANY WAY FOR ANYONE TO SETTLE IN
YOU MADE A SLOW DISASTER OUT ME
...
~ you were a kindness by the national



a
WILHELM LUCERNE NOUVEL.

Lucerne was smart. Smart and defiant.

And, there was no logical way to overcome the fact that he was being denied of what he needed the most than to take matters into his own hand. After all, Lucerne didn't need Big Brother watching over him like some guardian; he just wished for his free will back before he could possibly feel the treacherous withdrawal begin to kick in. He'd deny the unofficial and unwarranted authority that Addy believed he had over Lucerne because Lucerne knew what was truly in his own best interest. That was to prevent withdrawal symptoms at all cost. He needed that high. He needed that sensation of elevation. He needed to escape his manic head for a while. It was what stopped his brain from rotting.

Maybe tomorrow would be a better time to go cold turkey. Just not today.

He was at the end of his bed, tapping his foot anxiously as beads of sweat dripped from his forehead. He was shivering, body feeling as if it were enduring sub-zero conditions. He couldn't go to sleep this way, this was driving him absolutely insane. It'd been over twelve hours since he'd last had a fix, and it felt as if he was rotting from the inside out. He lowered his head in his hands, huffing a stressed breath before rocking off of the bed and back onto his feet. This was absolutely farcical; he ought to troubleshoot this major complication and defy Addy yet again. He'd been this way for several days now, trying to see how long he could go without his everything, but after some hours it'd simply be too difficult to bear. It felt as if he was being deprived of his oxygen. He was suffocating. He needed his drugs to breathe clear again.

And so, he got changed, pulling on a long coat before silently sneaking out of the house, slow and sure to assure that nobody would wake up. And then, he was free. Wrapping his arms tightly across his chest, his breath shuddered as his body reacted to his body's plea for a fix. Cold sweats rattled through his body, his entire being beginning to ache down to the bone. He needed help, and fast. Swallowing hard, he flitted his gaze worriedly across the road, peering over at the few people walking down the street in the nighttime. And then, he began to run. The very thought of being without what he needed the most was so swiftly driving him mad. His brain screamed for help, body assisting in the torment as he raced, slowing as he reached where he wanted to be. A quiet part of town, beneath an overpass, resided a group of addicts like him. A group of dealers like Addy. Awaiting their next victim.

It was too easy to obtain Heroin. Good. He needed it. There was no time to prepare it to inject and so, as soon as he took the plastic packaging, he stumbled over to a concrete block, messily crushing it before snorting it. A couple of the other people watched over, chuckling quietly with laughter at the man's desperation. But... He needed this. He began to walk home, only moments later the high beginning to hit him like a tonne of bricks. He blinked, pinpoint eyes flitting about before tripping over to the ground. Eyes sinking shut, his mind was in a better place. This was a fantastic world he lived in. A fantastic world without his father. He floated on the spot, elbow resting on the stairs which lead up to a museum. On this cold and bitter night, his heart was warm. He felt alive again. Safe.

When his entire life was overwhelmed with ungovernable shame and violence, this was the only remedy which could make the reminder of his worthlessness and failure to be a good son more manageable. Without it, he was nothing. He turned his head up to look at the sky. Skin numb from the cold; Body numb from the high. Eventually, he slowly levitated back onto his feet, his world shifting ninety degrees effortlessly until he stood on earth yet again. And then, he wobbled his way home. Slowly, carefully, he lowered the door handle before creaking the door open, body going still as his gaze handed on a smug looking Addy. Ah... Addy knew then, he supposed. He leaned his shoulder against the door frame, pacified and nonreactive as he watched Addy approach him and suddenly grab him by the collar. He almost fell over at the sharp tug, body rocking back and forth unsteadily as he tried to regain balance.

He was eerily silent, head bobbing with drowsiness as he tried to keep his eyes on Addy. Addy was frustrated with Lucerne. It was a shame Lucerne did not really care all too much. A push sent Lucerne stumbling backwards, having to hold onto the door frame to keep himself from falling backwards. And then, blinking over to his dealer, he sighed before passively saying, "I'm doing excellent, thank you." Then, silence. His face contorted with confusion momentarily before pointing out plainly, "Wait no, it's - uh - 'hi... how are you?'" And with that, he cleared his throat before straightening up.

"Mmanammah... I concur. You can't see that it's my medicine, hm, and - ah - you cannot grasp that. However, I cease to care. Je m'en fous! The music is playing, and it, er... drowns out the silence. Shakespeare once told me that if music be the food... of life, then play on! Now, excuse me, I must lie down..." He said in a stammering incoherence. Next, he paused in thought for a moment before correcting himself, "Of love." And with that, he attempted to walk passed, shaking a finger at Addy passively along the way.
◜ WISH YOU WERE HERE ◞
INFO. CHARACTERS.

Offline elysian.

  • Posts: 505
    • he/him
    • View Profile
Re: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.
« Reply #21 on: February 03, 2019, 09:03:34 PM »
addy douglas.
the more addy hung around with lucerne, the more he began to realize the deep shit he was in. it wasn’t like lucerne was trouble so to speak. he was some rich med student who lived in a pig-stye fuckin’ apartment. that wasn’t trouble, and addy knew what trouble looked like. but the thing was that lucerne was… weird. so fuckin’ weird. the more he hung out with the guy, the more he wondered how odd his parents must have been (and how he never wanted to meet the man’s mom because, wow, she must be a fucking hoot).

the thing that he hated the most about the whole ordeal, though, was how he was actually starting to grow fond of the damn bastard.

he didn’t want to say that he cared. didn’t want to admit that he had read more in the last couple weeks than he had his entire life, reading up on how the hell he could help the addict get off of his poison of choice. how to help the other deal with withdrawal symptoms. he didn’t want to admit that he had a soft spot for the weird lucerne nouvel. the man who obviously didn’t give two shits about the redhead trying to help him. lucerne was treating this like some kind of game, ignoring everything that addy seemed to be doing right in the situation. ignoring the bad decisions, too… and addy didn’t want to admit that it hurt. because it really did hurt him.

it hurt to go through so much effort to help someone just to see them fail. it was painful to watch someone make the same mistakes he’d witnessed time and time again. addy usually tried to shove all kinds of feelings out the window, but aside from the smugness on the outside that he’d caught lucerne-- there was an aching in his chest. he felt hurt, betrayed, confused... how could lucerne do this to him? did he not see all the fuckin’ effort he was going through, here? he’d almost wished he had shoved the other out the window when he’d grabbed him by the collar earlier… it was too late, now, though- and the most he could do was just watch the other, and grow more and more frustrated.

“oh fuck you,” he retorted, watching as the other just-- was his usual, weird dipshit self. “i don’t care how you are, bastard. i’m fuckin’ pissed. could care less about you.” the fact that this high dipwad was trying to correct him just frustrated him all the more. shaking his head, he crossed his arms over his chest - because if they were doing anything else, they’d be swinging full-force at lucerne’s damn face - and listened to the addict in front of him. everything lucerne said made little to no sense, though. the redhead could barely wrap his head around what lucerne said when he was sober (or at least as sober as addy had ever seen him).

it wasn’t until the other tried to walk passed that the redhead just snapped. oh, hell no. “like hell you are.” he shuffled in front of the other, placing his arms on the man’s shoulders to stop him from where he was going. “you think this is all some big fuckin’ joke, don’t you? you think this is a game? well i’m not your damn toy, lu.” he knew the other hated that nickname, or any nickname in general. good. suits him. fucker. “i’ve been here for what? way too long for you to think that you can just push me the fuck around. bastard.” aggressively, he moved his arms and gave lucerne a rough shove. because lucerne couldn’t push him like that, but you damn bet that addy would push the other man around. that was just how this worked, alright?

“where the fuck are you getting the drugs, lucerne?” addy knew of his competition - but they weren’t really competition, seeing as he had most of the clients in the city. “what kind of drugs? heroin, cocaine? both?” addy didn’t know how he could possibly punish lucerne for this aside from push him around and make him feel like shit. embarrass the hell out of him. he didn’t know. he hated the way he felt, though- hated that he cared for the high bastard right in front of him. “if you step one foot in your bedroom i am going to beat your ass. and love every moment of it.” the thought of beating the absolute shit out of lucerne seemed way too appealing in that moment.

giving another rough shove, he grunted in frustration. “fucking asshole!”


Offline truce.

  • Posts: 418
  • . . .
    • View Profile
Re: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.
« Reply #22 on: February 12, 2019, 03:38:01 PM »

I WAS IN A FOG, I DIDN'T NOTICE EVERYTHING
WAS COMING ALL APART INSIDE OF ME
THERE WASN'T ANY WAY FOR ANYONE TO SETTLE IN
YOU MADE A SLOW DISASTER OUT ME
...
~ you were a kindness by the national



a
WILHELM LUCERNE NOUVEL.

He was being stuffed like a teddy bear, cotton being shoved into his mouth and sucking up all moisture like a sponge. Lucerne smacked his lips together mindlessly. He needed a glass of water. Addy was speaking to him - or perhaps just opening and closing his mouth like a fish in a fishbowl - but Lucerne could not clearly make out what the redhead could possibly be saying. Sounds blurred, much like a painter mixing a palette of colors together to create a brown concoction. The same color as his precious fix, the one coursing through his body as if the devil has possessed him. From what he could tell, though, Addy was fuming. He could almost see the steam coming out his ears like a kettle boiling. Like in all those cartoons. Addy's reactions were as dramatic as those of a cartoon.

Lucerne wasn't going to say so out loud (mostly because of the cotton stuffed between his cheeks plus the gentle buzzing in his brain hindered the ability to say very much) but he knew that Addy knew that Lucerne had won this little game that they were playing. Addy wanted to defend? Well, Lucerne was always prepared to strike back and attack. And that sure as hell worked swimmingly. Check. Bloody. Mate. Lucerne blinked but his eyelids drooped, and he wanted to lie down for a little while. He clutched onto the door frame, quiet in his blurred contemplation as he watched Addy's mouth moving. He was lost in a sea of confusion, trying to read his lips but all that could pass through his mind was that he wanted to curl up on his bed.

And so, without another word in response to Addy's incoherent bickering, Lucerne attempted to wander off so that he could head to his bedroom, only to be shaken from his dazed thoughts by Addy's hands on his shoulders, preventing him to moving another step forwards. He squinted down at the redhead, moving his head closer to the other slowly. Addy's face was so far away, like being on a boat in the middle of the ocean. It took another moment before he surrendered, trying to listen to Addy's words, the sounds of Earth very slowly coming back to him and returning to his ears like somebody turning the dial of the radio louder again. "Mmmmmmmmmmm- long for you to think that you can just push me the fuck around."

Ah, Addy was enraged. But, why would that surprise Lucerne? A sharp shove sent Lucerne stumbling back out the door he'd just walked through, finding himself back in the corridor of the apartment block. His eyes turned to stare down the corridor, the walls looking as if they were wobbling side to side like waves on a seismograph. He blinked, disorientated, before turning to peer back over at Addy, confused. He stepped back into his apartment, legs wavering as if he were a toddler learning how to walk as he neared Addy, obviously not learning his lesson the first time. He got close up to the redhead, attempting to tower over him but failing miserably as he tried to cling onto the door frame, only to find that he didn't even have the strength to lift his arm up. His muscles were like jelly. No; weights tied his arms down, he was completely helpless.

Nevertheless, he tipped his chin up, a scowl transforming his features before he growled quietly, "Dear Adelbert. Do not affront me when I am high." And with that, he pouted, head bobbing drowsily. Next came the barrage of questions, ones which Lucerne would be happy to answer provided he could prove that he was successful in outsmarting his dealer. "From beneath the overpass in Crescent Way. The best place to purchase drugs in this city, I'd say." He pointed out matter-of-factly, a knowing look on his face that that could very well enrage Addy to hear. After all, those were his competitors. The redhead lost his biggest client - foolish, really.

"Heroin. I felt drawn towards the expectation to feel quietude from the high - it's what I deserve after having to spend the day in your company." He was impudent in his bold words, trying to cock an eyebrow but barely feeling the stretch of his face. He was still for the next few moments before a threat passed Addy's lips. So, Lucerne could not go to bed? "I will take the sofa, in that case." He hummed, attempting to take another step forward before another rough shove sent him backwards again, this time falling to the ground, not really feeling the sensation of his head smacking the floor. He looked like a ragdoll in that very moment, but the fall felt more like a slow motion replay of him landing on the soft bed of clouds that called for his name.

His body sunk into the ground. Oh, what a hospitable mattress, Lucerne could fall asleep here. The bones in his spine, knees, and hips simultaneously melted into the ground below him as time forgot him. He was still on the floor for the moment, blinded by the flickering light above him before he slurred inaudibly to himself, "Tut, I h-have done a thousand dreadful, uh, things as willingly as one could kill a ffffly, and nothing grieves me heartily indeed but t- but that I cannot-" And then silence. Lips parted as he gasped for a soft breath, almost having forgotten to breathe, almost as if his lungs were asleep. And then, he tried to lift a heavy arm up, surrendering himself as he silently begged for a hand to help him up. "Please, please make it stop." He finally uttered, black spots clouding his vision as the light above drilled into his vision.

He didn't like this feeling anymore.
◜ WISH YOU WERE HERE ◞
INFO. CHARACTERS.

Offline elysian.

  • Posts: 505
    • he/him
    • View Profile
Re: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.
« Reply #23 on: February 15, 2019, 12:25:44 PM »
addy douglas.
“fucking-- fucking crescent way!? you’re taking the godawful shit they sell at crescent way?” alright. now he was pissed. how desperate could lucerne be, to take whatever shit those guys put out? the best place to purchase drugs- his ass it was. god, he was tempted to knock this fucker out. “you think i won’t kill a motherfucker that steals my clients? you think i won’t? they’re dead fucking meat.” lucerne could care less about who lived and who died, though. lucerne didn’t even seem to care if he himself died. what was even the fucking point of talking to him? staying here? what was the use in any of it?

addy was absolutely fuming at that point, once he’d shoved lucerne to the ground. for a moment as the man lay limp on the floor, he briefly wondered if he’d killed him. good fucking riddance.. oh, but then lucerne started talking again. the redhead couldn’t help but make a face as the other talked to himself, crossing his arms over his chest and rolling his eyes. “you’re a real fuckin’ nutcase, lucerne,” he pointed out as the addict droned on to himself. he breathed a deep sigh and averted his gaze to the ground, waiting for a moment before he turned to leave the room. lu deserved it. this entire time, he’d treated addy like fucking shit. if he was going to be such an ass, then addy wasn’t going to help them. see, after all his time here, he’d started to notice that lucerne didn’t have a heart - so, fair game, addy wouldn’t have a heart either. not for that stupid fucking son of a--

“please, please make it stop.”

he paused. it would’ve been better for addy if he had just continued walking away, retreated to lucerne’s room and took the bed while the other was too weak to tell him not to. though, something compelled him to turn slightly so he could peer over at the man on the floor. arm barely lifted off the floor, outstretched, begging for help up from his spot on the floor. it was a sad sight, and something about it made all the anger subside. it didn’t replace the irritance, the annoyance, but it definitely put something in the anger’s place. sympathy? sadness? regret? addy couldn’t place it. it was the same emotion that had always come with seeing his mother curled up on the floor, crying and laughing in such a somber way. it brought back that same emotion, that same pain. he wanted to run away from it all. this wasn’t a fuckin’ pleasant feeling.

turning, he continued his walk away from the man- but headed to the kitchen, rather than the bedroom. he grabbed a glass from the cupboard, filled it with water, and then… paused. god, addy, what are you doing? leaning against the counter, he brought his free hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose-- but after a deep breath, forced himself to wander back into the living room where lucerne still was. he put the drink on the table before looking at what he had to deal with. “alright,” he breathed as he grabbed lucerne’s hand, grunting with effort as he heaved the man up. fuck- a little help would’ve been nice.” unhelpful ass. once lucerne was sturdy enough, he reached over to the table and grabbed the glass. “here.” he offered it to lucerne, turning his gaze away, then.

as much as addy didn’t want to have a heart, he did. it was an irrefutable fact. he could try and act like he didn’t, try and give lucerne the cold shoulder for being such a fucking bastard -- but he couldn’t succeed. instead, he’d just keep letting himself watch lucerne, watch him try and shake this addiction- only to fall, and disappoint addy every time. disappointment. maybe that was what he was now feeling. he’d put so much hope into lucerne, telling himself that this would be different than when he’d tried to help his mother. now, though, all he saw was lucerne walking in those same footsteps, headed to the same fateful, bitter end. but what did addy care? why should addy care? he gazed at the pitiful state of the man beside him, and honestly… he couldn’t find the answer to the question. not the answer he’d wanted to find, at least.

he reached a hand up to pat lucerne’s back, his hand resting there before he began to guide the other.

“let’s get you to bed, buddy.”


Offline truce.

  • Posts: 418
  • . . .
    • View Profile
Re: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.
« Reply #24 on: February 24, 2019, 01:17:26 PM »

I WAS IN A FOG, I DIDN'T NOTICE EVERYTHING
WAS COMING ALL APART INSIDE OF ME
THERE WASN'T ANY WAY FOR ANYONE TO SETTLE IN
YOU MADE A SLOW DISASTER OUT ME
...
~ you were a kindness by the national



a
WILHELM LUCERNE NOUVEL.

"Dear, Addy... You wouldn't know a godawful fix if you fell over one." Lucerne uttered back in retaliation, fist curling against the door frame as he could've sworn that there was something nearby for him to grasp onto. Otherwise, he was sure to fall over at some point. After all, his knees felt weak. He had to take a seat somewhere - he wanted to nap right here. He squinted at Addy's next words. He'd kill the dealers who'd sold him this stuff? "Shame I'm no longer a client of yours; I would call that a perrrrrrrsonal problem of yours." His 'R' almost rolled as he slurred out, head bobbing downwards at the sudden sensation of wanting to drift off. "After all-" He cleared his throat, unable to lift his head and so he stared dully at his shoes through half-lidded eyes. "You were the one who refused to s-sell... to me, am I not wrong?"

But then, Lucerne had seemed to cross the line because, the next moment, he was laying across the ground. Sprawled across the floor like a corpse, Lucerne was blinded by the light. Was he dead? Was this the heavenly light that he'd waltz towards to reach heaven? Had he really been a good man in his lifetime? He was silent for a moment before he blinked. He blinked once more. Ah. Finally he turned his head to the side. It was merely a ceiling light; heaven would have to wait a little longer for him. He began to babble softly, appearing like a man uttering a subdued prayer to himself. But then... He gave up. Addy called him a nutcase, to which Lucerne released a slow breath, lips parted as if they were open to scream for help. But, he was silent, gaze staring vacantly down the hallway.

He couldn't live this way anymore.

His plea for help was nearly silent, most definitely a plea that he did not want passing his lips. But, his head subconsciously made up its mind. Lucerne had to call it quits. He was going to die a failure otherwise. He was destroying his body one fix at a time and, before he'd know it, he'd be dead. What was stopping the next time he lay down whilst high being the moment he got lowered across a cold table in a morgue? Was that what he was prepared to reduce himself to? When he'd take a fix, it would just never feel like it was enough nowadays. Soon enough, he'd overdose again, but by the Mick could find him, it'd be too late. He couldn't continue this way. He had to make a change.

Trying to lift up an arm which no longer worked, he hoped for Addy to pull him up to his feet. But... nothing. Lucerne slowly inhaled, the obtuse realization that Addy had left him finally understood by him. Oh. Lucerne's arm dropped to the ground, feeling as if he was velcroed against the laminate flooring below him. He was simply... Immobilized. And then, his heart sank. It shouldn't have; he wasn't supposed to have a heart. But, it was the moment he realized he foolish he was. He felt humiliated. He didn't like the feeling of helplessness anymore. He wanted somebody to help. Eyes turned to try look towards the door, but to no avail. He had taken Addy for granted when the man had been nothing but benevolent for the most part, which Lucerne should have realized sooner that Addy wouldn't have done so without good reason to. 

Lucerne was officially that last person to realize how much of a mess he was. Even his dealer had caught on before he did. Hours passed by where Lucerne lay on the ground, still as a statue whilst he waited for the high to settle. Small hula hoops twinkled in his vision, eyes hazy from staring down the lightly lit hallway for so long. But he couldn't blink, waiting in anticipation for somebody to walk through the door and mock him for being a crackhead. But then, his heart bounced at a voice. Addy. Eyes twisted to look towards where Addy was standing, though he could only see the man out of the corner of his eye. He lifted an arm weakly before Addy helped him float back up onto his feet almost effortlessly. And so, the snide comment from Addy only made Lucerne narrow his eyes at him with confusion before he slowly took the glass from Addy.

Slurping at the water unsteadily, it felt as if the drought in his throat was overcome by a magnificent flood. He downed the glass within seconds, droplets of water missing his mouth entirely as it soaked through his shirt. He was disorientated, eyes almost worried and nervous as they stared over at Addy. His memory was failing him - how did he manage to get up? How did he fall in the first place? Addy rested his hand on Lucerne's back, Lucerne humming quietly though he was visibly perplexed before he silently allowed for himself to wander to bed. As he reached his bedroom, he fumbled helplessly as the buttons on his shirt, managing to kick off one shoe before giving up on undressing himself at all and instead stumbling onto his bed. He blinked, though his eyes chose not to open again instead. He could hear Addy there, but he could no longer speak... He just needed some rest. And so, within seconds, he began to drift off to sleep, even before he could apologise for the inconvenience.
◜ WISH YOU WERE HERE ◞
INFO. CHARACTERS.

Offline elysian.

  • Posts: 505
    • he/him
    • View Profile
Re: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.
« Reply #25 on: February 26, 2019, 12:51:49 PM »
addy douglas
a
eyes slowly opened, still fighting sleep from such a long night. stirring slightly, he rolled onto his back to stare up at the ceiling-- and where the fuck was he? he squinted at the ceiling that definitely wasn’t the living room’s, not his usual spot on the couch. his eyes wandered from his spot on the floor to gaze over at lucerne’s bed. oh. right. he’d holed himself up in the other’s room for the night. he’d dragged his blankets and pillows from the sofa and onto the floor in lucerne’s room. situated conveniently in front of the door. if the prick kept sneaking out, addy might as well just get in lucerne’s way so he couldn’t open the door in the first place. if he had known it’d make his body ache so much to sleep on the floor, he would’ve tried a different approach. he’d think of a better strategy for the next night.

he forced himself to stand up, cursing at the gentle ache in his bones. fingers ran through his hair, blue eyes eventually settling back on the man passed out asleep in his bed. what could he possibly do to help this guy? that was a thought that had occurred to him last night, as he’d watched the other drag himself into bed. so high he was miserable. but, when he was sober he was even more miserable. and how did addy even have a say in what lucerne did or not? why would addy give a fuck what lucerne’s life turned out to be? he’d seen addict after addict meet such terrible fates, and with lucerne this was when he drew the fuckin’ line? perhaps it was because he saw something- someone in lucerne. someone he couldn’t save before it was too late… he stared for a moment longer before he forced himself to turn away, in turn forcing himself to turn his back to those thoughts. now wasn’t the time to think fuckin’- bullshit thoughts like that.

heading to the kitchen seemed like a better thing than getting all sentimental. absently he dug around in the pantry and fridge, looking for something to do to keep him busy. he took a few eggs out from the fridge, some pancake mix from the pantry, and went to making breakfast. it seemed like lu’s roommate had already gone out for the day - addy never saw much of him, anyway, since mick almost always was with his girlfriend - and looked like he’d be alone with lucerne. again. he fried some eggs and whipped up some pancakes, just enough for himself because the bastard he’d helped last night definitely wasn’t deserving of pancakes and eggs.

the food had been plated, pancakes covered in syrup and butter- and as he leaned against the counter, he paused at the sound of footsteps. and sure enough, there was lucerne, retreating from his fuckin’ shithole of a bedroom. “get enough beauty sleep, princess?” he took another bite of fried egg before adding on, “or are you still gonna be a fuckin’ bitch like last night?”


Offline truce.

  • Posts: 418
  • . . .
    • View Profile
Re: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.
« Reply #26 on: March 17, 2019, 02:34:42 PM »

I WAS IN A FOG, I DIDN'T NOTICE EVERYTHING
WAS COMING ALL APART INSIDE OF ME
THERE WASN'T ANY WAY FOR ANYONE TO SETTLE IN
YOU MADE A SLOW DISASTER OUT ME
...
~ you were a kindness by the national



a
WILHELM LUCERNE NOUVEL.

Eyes peeled opened and the world orbited around his head. Lucerne grimaced gently, cold gaze fixed on the ceiling above. He felt drowsy, but he already was accustomed to this very sensation. The day after. Eyes sunk closed again, body numb and motionless apart from the subtle rise and fall of his chest. He tried to rack his brain to remember what had all happened the night before, but it was nothing more than a puzzle that still needed piecing together. Plus, he didn't even have half of the pieces to begin with. He woke up yet again several minutes later, this time with the determination to get up out of bed. After all, the inside of his mouth felt all fuzzy, almost as if his tongue were sandpaper. He needed to drink something.

That was when he remembered a fragment of his many lost memories of the previous evening. He sneaked out for a fix, and he was caught. His head flopped to the side, blue gaze looking across the room to see pillows and blankets strewn across the ground. So Addy had resided in Lucerne's bedroom for the night. He furrowed his eyebrows. Probably to make sure Lucerne wouldn't get up to any more trouble, he supposed. He sighed, feeling the familiar sluggish sensation weigh his body down like an anchor into the bed. But, he'd force himself up. Peeling his body off of the mattress, he hunched over the side of his bed, releasing a slow sigh. Addy must've gotten up at some point in the morning. That, or he'd finally decided that Lucerne was a lost cause. Lucerne couldn't blame Addy, though - it wasn't untrue.

He lumbered into the kitchen, almost surprised to see Addy was there, leaning against the counter. Tired eyes squinted over to Addy, seemingly unfazed by the redhead's snide words before he lowered his head into his hands to ruffle his greasy hair absentmindedly. "Yes." His monosyllabic sentence trailed off in a low and gravelly utterance, looking at Addy before wandering over delicately. His gaze traveled across the kitchen, soon to realize that Addy had only made himself something to eat. Not that Lucerne should have expected anything from Addy, though. Luckily, he wasn't one to eat much in the morning time, and so he'd settle for knitting his eyebrows in response to Addy before walking over to get make himself a cup of tea. "I'll allow you to figure that one out on your own." He mumbled scornfully, back turned to Addy.

He wanted to thank Addy for being so benevolent, yet Lucerne's guard was up and he'd refuse to acknowledge that he felt so weak and foolish. He was in a vulnerable position, yet he didn't know how to escape from it. And so, after filling his mug up, he stilled, releasing a slow exhalation before confirming, "You were right." He turned his head to look over at Addy, face sullen and serious. "I'm an addict... And, I'm not okay." With that, he trudged into the living room, hand wobbling the cup of tea so that droplets of boiling liquid spilled out of the mug. He lowered himself into his favorite armchair, resting his head on the back on the chair as he peered out of the window, watching as the mid-morning rush passed by. He knew what he had to do; he had to stop rebelling against Addy. He had to realize that he was seriously ill.
◜ WISH YOU WERE HERE ◞
INFO. CHARACTERS.

Offline elysian.

  • Posts: 505
    • he/him
    • View Profile
Re: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.
« Reply #27 on: March 17, 2019, 11:17:00 PM »
addy douglas
a
blue eyes glanced up from absently picking at his scrambled eggs, surveying lucerne for a moment before deciding, “i don’t think you’d want me to.” if he’d made any deductions about lucerne for the day, it was that he was on ultimate bitch mode. not to be rude or anything, but whenever lucerne wasn’t high, he usually was kind of being a whiny asshole to addy for kind of turning his life upside down. let him be pissed off; the guy still had a fucking problem. taking a few bites of egg, he let the quiet settle in for a bit. he’d almost finished his plate before lucerne spoke up again, and something about those words made him feel like he was going to choke on the last bit of egg mid-bite.

”you were right. i’m an addict... and i’m not okay.”

somehow he managed to swallow the food in his mouth rather than standing there, looking like a fucking idiot with his mouth gaping open.

honestly, addy didn’t know what to say. he didn’t know quite what lucerne had wanted him to say, either. instead he simply stood, held the other’s gaze before lucerne had trudged off. he released a breath that he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding, simply saying under his breath a simple, “fuck.” this was honestly a huge fucking thing. since when had he ever heard lucerne admit that he was an addict, and that he wasn’t absolutely fine? when would he ever hear that? this was a big leap into what ad could only call the road to fuckin’ recovery. however, if it was some huge milestone, why the hell did he feel like he was the fucking bad guy in this situation?

he waited a moment before he finally sprung into action. placing the plate in the kitchen sink, he made his way over towards the living room to see lucerne settled in his beloved armchair. hesitated. then sauntered over to the couch - which might as well be his own private property by this point, judging by how many nights he’d spent in it - and made himself comfortable. silence again. he fidgeted slightly. what the hell was he even doing here? why was he still here? “how’s your head?” was the first question, glancing at him before turning his gaze away and adding, trying to come off as uncaring, “you hit it pretty fuckin' hard when you fell last night.” fell. more like when he was pushed, but addy didn’t care to really give those specific details. if lucerne remembered being shoved, then so be it. addy didn’t fucking car-

“don’t.” the demand had been rather sudden, and sounded so vulnerable that addy almost hated himself for it. he stared at lucerne for a moment, long and hard. he took a shaky breath before he turned his gaze away, instead taking sudden interest in the coffee table in front of him. “i know you feel like shit. i know life fucking - sucks for you right now. but don’t- don’t keep doing this shit to yourself.” his gaze flitted back, adding, “it’s painful to watch.” and okay, whoa, this was very vulnerable. too vulnerable for the redhead. bringing up a foot to rest on his knee, gently tapping his other knee with his fingers, he took a deep breath before deciding to say, “get through the first week. if you don’t, i get to kick your fucking ass. deal?” he lifted his gaze over to the other, and though the remark was far from nice, there was a certain glimmer in his eyes that came with the threat.


Offline truce.

  • Posts: 418
  • . . .
    • View Profile
Re: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.
« Reply #28 on: March 29, 2019, 03:15:03 PM »

I WAS IN A FOG, I DIDN'T NOTICE EVERYTHING
WAS COMING ALL APART INSIDE OF ME
THERE WASN'T ANY WAY FOR ANYONE TO SETTLE IN
YOU MADE A SLOW DISASTER OUT ME
...
~ you were a kindness by the national



a
WILHELM LUCERNE NOUVEL.

Lucerne stared out of the window, watching as the hustle and bustle of rush hour passed by. Anything to avoid glancing over at the sound of footsteps slow to approach him. But, Addy carefully took a seat on the sofa nearby, and Lucerne could feel as the man's eyes watched across the room at him. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably, hand tightening against the armrest of the thick armchair. He inhaled a slow and steady breath as Addy began to talk, uneasy in the silence following, before he twisted his head mechanically, cold eyes watching over. He'd hit his head?... He'd fallen over? He frowned. He hadn't remembered going through such thing - this only further solidified the fact that he probably didn't remember most of what had happened last night. "I am perfectly fine." He uttered softly under his breath after realizing he'd been staring statically at Addy for more than just a few seconds.

He was quick to look away again, though, back out the window where it felt less vulnerable. More... Safe for a fragile heart. His breath hitched in his throat as Addy spoke once again. A demand that appeared like both a threat, but also a plea. It took Lucerne by surprise for a split second, the tall man frozen in one spot before he slowly went to clasp his hands together on his lap. Slowly exhaling a shaky breath, he listened intently - and Addy was right. Lucerne wasn't feeling very good. Physically, he could've felt better in that very moment, but mentally?... That was where the real problems lay. But, despite all that he was going through, and all he was soon to endure, he couldn't just give up. He leaned over to collect his mug, taking a sip of his tea before eventually peering over to Addy and responding with a soft utterance, "I suppose I have little choice but to say deal. So... Okay."

---

He should not have agreed to this.

Eyes were vacant and stained as he hunched over on the floor of his bedroom, back resting against his bed and body rattling gently against it. It felt as if the entire room was a glacial nightmare, body trembling from how cold it felt yet his skin felt as if it were on fire, his body burning from the outside in. Beads of sweat had formed across his face like its own aqua constellation, his shirt soaked through and making him feel utterly uncomfortable. His brain felt as if it was in slow motion, yet he felt restless, shifting every few seconds uneasily as he tried to just breathe. He promised Addy he'd not give into the temptation - this was the only way he could sober up. And yet, the miserable life that he lead whilst abusing drugs seemed one hell of a lot more appealing than this unspeakable phase.

His face shriveled up, head dropping as eyes squeezed shut. Clenching and unclenching his fists repeatedly, he exhaled a shaky breath once more before growling weakly, "I absolutely cannot do this for a moment longer." He needed for Addy to tell him otherwise, else he'd crack. Heart slammed against his chest, anxiety filling his gut as if he was being stuffed alive like a teddy bear. He couldn't breathe. He was going to die, but what if he wanted to?
◜ WISH YOU WERE HERE ◞
INFO. CHARACTERS.

Offline elysian.

  • Posts: 505
    • he/him
    • View Profile
Re: 「 letters from the sky 」- p.
« Reply #29 on: March 31, 2019, 10:43:48 PM »
addy douglas
a
and to think addy had said lucerne’s drug problem had been hard to watch. it was almost more painful to watch the other man suffer in this fashion than when he’d been high as a fucking kite. seeing lucerne like this brought back too many memories, painful memories at that. every couple of minutes he’d have to poke his head in, with the fear that lucerne had gone crazy and tried to- climb out through the fuckin’ window or something. every time he peered in, though, all he saw was a steady decline in lucerne’s once picture-perfect composure. it started out as a simple chink in lucerne’s armor, and the cracks began to appear more and more until the other man was just desperately clinging to whatever was left. addy had to give him props that he was even still hanging on; drug withdrawals always looked like hell to go through.

the last time he peered his head in, he’d decided that it wouldn’t hurt for him to make sure lucerne didn’t go through hell alone. he had wandered into the kitchen, filled a cup of water, and came wandering in with the blanket he’d kind of had dibs on the last couple days. it was whatever; he could do without the blanket for a while, especially since lucerne was shivering like he was in antarctica or something. did this make him soft? he immediately shoved that thought out the door because, fuck no, he wasn’t being soft. he was just wanting to - see lucerne succeed, honestly. the guy needed obvious help, even while the redhead tried to swear to himself that it was for personal gain, for proving that he could’ve someday gotten his mother away from her own similar demons-- he knew that wasn’t the complete part of the story.

“you’re not backing out already. it’s only been a couple hours,” he said, knowing fully well that for lucerne those hours had probably been the longest in his life. he waited a moment before handing the other the water and then wordlessly draping the fuzzy blanket over lucerne’s shoulders. and then he stood there, unsure of his next move what was he supposed to do? lock the door and act like nothing was happening on the other side? he was heartless, but not that heartless. “...mind if i keep you company?” he didn’t even wait for lucerne to answer before he slid down beside him, leaning against the bed frame and tilting his head back to look up towards the ceiling. there really wasn’t much to talk about aside from the drug problem, as much as addy really wished there was something else to distract lucerne. there was, really, nothing he could do except just kind of sit there and- help lu cling to those little shreds of composure he had.

“so- college, huh?” … addy never said that he was an expert conversationalist. he almost wanted to cringe at himself and then immediately flee the scene. but no, he just had to keep talking. “you know, i never even graduated high school. or got a GED. never saw the point in it.” that was, admittedly, the most that addy would give lucerne of his past for a long, long while- and he couldn’t ignore the elephant in the room before quickly adding, “fuck- sorry. it’ll get better eventually, alright?”