Author Topic: ◜ watch me fall apart try'na please you ∶ journal. ◞  (Read 93 times)

Offline LUCERNE.

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◜ watch me fall apart try'na please you ∶ journal. ◞
« on: March 16, 2019, 07:11:12 PM »

In Extremis // Journal Entry #1

I shall give the Badlands three months. Three months to give them the benefit of the doubt before I choose whether I shall stay or I shall go. Addy appears to be enjoying his time here at least, not that I have spoken to him very much recently. I take his absence as a sign of his enjoyment and involvement in this syndicate. We've not spoken. Perhaps we would have communicated more if he were to have taken my word as gospel and listen when I pointed out that it would be absolutely hateful to find myself in a community such as this. A community of people. He should've known from experience that I don't really have an expertise in working with people - they put menial matters into their brains and spends hours burdening their mind with trivial matters. After all, why merely socialize with peers when there is a world that needs saving?

My mind rebels against stagnation, the dormant and dull way of life that people tend to practice. Addy had been different. He was the fire in a snow storm; I am forever in debt to him, as he warmed my moribund heart. A heart so unused and dismissed felt so much in the time that I had Addy to myself. He was once invaluable as a companion, but now I suppose I would have to accept that reality must return to me at some point. No man could burden his mind with trivial matters unless he had good reason for doing so - I once had good reason to use my heart, but for that my brain was my sacrifice. Now that Addy is not so present in my life anymore, it is time to turn the heart off and switch the brain on once more. Forget that I ever felt a glimmer of what it was like to adore a human being. Now, I must return to the real world. It needs me.