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Offline MALACHI.

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« on: April 13, 2019, 02:26:07 AM »

MALACHI ALLEN ( n )

i . what's the matter — afraid of temptation ?
« Last Edit: June 15, 2019, 02:24:39 AM by MALACHI. »
WHAT A DRAG ; BEAUTIFUL AND SAD             A GRAVEYARD ON THE SUN .

FUCKING UP  ,  YOU JUST

                                        SELF-DESTRUCT , ABANDONED AND UNDONE .

Offline MALACHI.

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« Reply #1 on: June 06, 2019, 04:06:35 PM »
« Last Edit: July 01, 2019, 03:05:07 PM by MALACHI. »
WHAT A DRAG ; BEAUTIFUL AND SAD             A GRAVEYARD ON THE SUN .

FUCKING UP  ,  YOU JUST

                                        SELF-DESTRUCT , ABANDONED AND UNDONE .

Offline MALACHI.

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« Reply #2 on: June 07, 2019, 06:56:52 AM »
SHE SAID , "  CAREFUL , OR YOU'LL LOSE IT .  "
&. ❝ malachi ❞ |  disapproves of unauthorized nicknames given to her by strangers , though for the ones that are , she endearingly accepts " mal " . however , the rather creative ones consist of " mophead " , " kitten " , " pup " , " junkie " , " kiddo " , " trash girl " , " demon " , " devil " , " gremlin " , " shithead " , and " skinny ankles " | malachi is biologically female | she personally identifies , however , as genderqueer , or as she prefers to call herself , a " gender non-conforming ladyboy " . goes predominantly by feminine pronouns [ she / hers ] , though occasionally refers to herself using masculine titles .
&. 19 years old . | 2nd of november ; scorpio .
&. council member of bluestem prairie .


BUT GIRL , I'M ONLY HUMAN  .
&.  [ 5'6" & 117 pounds  ; physical health : 95% ]  [ reference one , reference two ]
&. standing roughly around the height of 5'6 " , rather average , with a lean build leaning more masculine than feminine , and weighing around 53kg , one could surely say malachi doesn't fall anywhere short of ethereal ; dreamy-eyed , the constellations held against dark pupils are colored a magnificent shade of beryl , accompanied by rings of blue and gold . she has dark brown hair , a wild , untamed mess of natural curls with a personality of their own , though full and lucious , cut fairly short , reaching the base of her neck . located near the crease of her right arm is a small stick-n-poke tattoo that writes out the name " mia " . the significance of such , is in question , but claimed to be minor . on her left forearm , a stick-n-poke that says " 121N5'' " ; a reference to a street in brooklyn , new york . both of her ears are pierced , though she usually only sports one earring favoring the left ear . around her neck , as commonly observed , she sports a silver chain , and on the ring finger of her right hand , she wears a silver ring , never to be removed . the signficance of that ring is currently unknown .

AND I KNOW THERE'S A BLADEWHERE YOUR HEART IS .
&.  Difficulty [ PHYSICAL : 9/10 ] ﹠ [ PSYCHOLOGICAL : 4/10 ] | WITH FIREARMS [ average ] | WITH MELEE WEAPONS [ medium ] | WITH HAND-TO-HAND [ medium ]
[ STRENGTH: 70% | INTELLIGENCE: 90% | STAMINA: 60% | ENDURANCE: 90% | AGILITY: 70% | DEXTERITY: 90% | REACTION-TIME: 80% | CHARISMA: 80% ]
↳ while malachi is an individual with a short-fused temper , often quick and eager to initiate and engage in violent activity , she has formed her own system of justice and restricts herself to a strong moral code , refusing to kill unless absolutely necessary ; senseless murders viewed as inexcusable , though only accepts what she deems as " fair punishment " if its her the one authorizing such , even if some methods appear extreme or irrational to the situation at hand . though , contradicting her aggressive demand to deliver " absolute justice " , she is also an empathizer , believing that some are capable of redemption and willing to surrender herself and all her self-proclaimed crimes in place of their sins comitted in image to fulfill her " destiny " as a " martyr " .
&. Attack in bold #9e8886 | @MALACHI. | PM for any major plots .
&. Friendly or nonviolent actions may be powerplayed .

AND YOU KNOW HOW TO USE IT .AND YOU CAN TAKE MY FLESH
&. [ 6 ] weapons | [ 0 ] armor pieces | [ 4 ] consumables | [ 1 ] aid items | [ 19 ] misc .
↳ malachi owns a worn , though , still sturdy black canvas backpack ; kept strapped to her shoulders . in that backpack , a wide assortment of items can be found . as for those she considers of utmost value and refuses to leave anyplace without , is her bass guitar ; an aged telecaster model , 5 knives ; 4 , an assortment of hunting knives and switchblades ; the most important one , a sleek black butterfly knife ; a steel baseball bat ; her cassette tape recorder with one spare cassette tape , the other , recorded ; her treasured walkman cassette player , a polaroid camera with no film , her song book , a series of decorated , personal journals ; 4 in total , three fillled ; a worn set of drumsticks , a photo book of paris , the book “ metamorphosis “ by franz kafka , and a white lighter . minor posessions include two comic books , a pack of half-empty cigarettes , various pins and patches she’s collected , a single pack of freeze-dried apples , medical bandages , two granola bars , and a can of beans .

GIRL , BUT BABY ,DON'T ABUSE IT .
&. daniel allen x eran allen | family notes .
↳ [ 00 ] CRUSH | [ 00 ] "POTENTIAL CRUSHES" | ½ of MALACHI ﹠ NAME ; " SHIP NAME "
&. homoromantic , homosexual ; monogamous | a coping mechanism formed and used an emotional outlet — malachi's response to any emotional stimulation , particularly discomfort , though also encompasses any feelings of anger , sadness , boredom , or joy ; is sex — these sexual pursuits are also a reflection of malachi's lack of ,  but desire for a true intimate connection .  however , unwilling to surrender herself emotionally to an individual out of fear and distrust of their intentions , she figures such acts will allow her to maintain an intimate  distance without the formation of emotional attachment which , ultimately , allows her to remain in control of , and preserve her own emotional wellbeing while using those particular individuals she sleeps with as a means to fill that space . as for those people , malachi doesn't necessarily view them as a ' whole ' person with separate thoughts and feelings of their own ,  but more as a point to what emotional requirement can they fulfill in order for her to feel satisfied . however , if she feels as if the other party if forming a dependency on her , she will leave and seek out other people . though , to put it all simply , malachi is in love with the idea of being in love , but she will not commit to it , and don't expect her to . she will use you and leave you for as long as you allow her to .
« Last Edit: August 13, 2019, 01:54:30 PM by MALACHI. »
WHAT A DRAG ; BEAUTIFUL AND SAD             A GRAVEYARD ON THE SUN .

FUCKING UP  ,  YOU JUST

                                        SELF-DESTRUCT , ABANDONED AND UNDONE .

Offline MALACHI.

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« Reply #3 on: June 07, 2019, 09:04:41 AM »
*     MALACHI ALLEN      /        desired , but never loved  .

known as "  malachi  " , a nineteen year old scorpio born on the second day of the month of november . originally hailing from the once glorified city of brooklyn , new york , she now resides at bluestem prairie . standing roughly around the height of 5'6 " , rather average , with a lean build leaning more masculine than feminine , and weighing around 53kg , one could surely say malachi doesn't fall anywhere short of ethereal ; dreamy-eyed , the constellations held against dark pupils are colored a magnificent shade of beryl , accompanied by rings of blue and gold . she has dark brown hair , a wild , untamed mess of natural curls with a personality of their own , though full and lucious , cut fairly short , reaching the base of her neck . located near the crease of her right arm is a small stick-n-poke tattoo that writes out the name " mia " . the significance of such , is in question , but claimed to be minor . on her left forearm , a stick-n-poke that says " 121N5'' " ; a reference to a street in brooklyn , new york . both of her ears are pierced , though she usually only sports one earring favoring the left ear . around her neck , as commonly observed , she sports a silver chain , and on the ring finger of her right hand , she wears a silver ring , never to be removed . the signficance of that ring is currently unknown .
*           /          reference one , reference two , reference three , reference four .       



strength ( 7/10 ) , willpower ( 10/10 ) , dexterity ( 9/10 ) , intelligence ( 9/10 ) , wisdom ( 4/10 ) , charisma ( 8/10 ) , agility ( 7/10 ) , stamina ( 6/10 ) , endurance ( 9/10 ) , teamwork ( 2/10 ) , stealth ( 7/10 ) , reaction time ( 8/10 ) , humor ( 10/10 ) , fortitude ( 9/10 ) , faith ( 2/10 ) , melee combat ( 8/10 ) , armed combat ( 6/10 ) , leadership ( 2/10 )
« Last Edit: June 23, 2019, 01:18:10 PM by MALACHI. »
WHAT A DRAG ; BEAUTIFUL AND SAD             A GRAVEYARD ON THE SUN .

FUCKING UP  ,  YOU JUST

                                        SELF-DESTRUCT , ABANDONED AND UNDONE .

Offline MALACHI.

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« Reply #4 on: June 07, 2019, 10:46:05 AM »
malachi is a biblical name borne by one of the twelve minor prophets in the old testament . the name is hebrew in origin from “ mal'akhi ” meaning , ‘ my messenger ’  , or ' my angel ' , which is fitting since malachi foretold the coming of god ( i.e. , through jesus christ ) . he lived in the 5th century b.c. and  repeatedly emphasized the upcoming “ day of the lord ” whereby the peoples’ sin and unfaithfulness will be punished .

the name allen is a celtic baby name . in celtic , the meaning of the name allen is " harmony " , " stone " , or " noble " ; also " fair  , handsome "  .



*    name inspiration and symbolism : her given name " malachi " and its meaning serves as contradiction to her image as a malevolent being , reinforced by her foster parent's indoctrination of such idea . the titles " child from hell " , " devil's incarnate " , " demon " , and " devil " , commonly bestowed upon her head , though she's eventually come to accept and exploit . it is also in reference to her resentment for christ and religion despite of her own messiah complex .

as for her last name , " allen " , meaning " harmony " ; represents the contradiction between the peace and idealistic passions she wishes to incite , though due to her tendency to get so caught up within that goal , she unintentionally causes more harm than she does help which brings upon dissonance , both physical and mental .
« Last Edit: June 15, 2019, 12:42:39 AM by MALACHI. »
WHAT A DRAG ; BEAUTIFUL AND SAD             A GRAVEYARD ON THE SUN .

FUCKING UP  ,  YOU JUST

                                        SELF-DESTRUCT , ABANDONED AND UNDONE .

Offline MALACHI.

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« Reply #5 on: June 07, 2019, 10:46:30 AM »
malachi is the campaigner ( enfp-t ) myers-briggs personality type , scoring 74% extraverted to 26% introverted ; 71% intuitive to 29% observant ; 49% thinking to 51% feeling ; 18% judging to 82% prospecting ; and 1% assertive to 99% turbulent ; her alignment , chaotic good , leaning 4% towards law , 10% towards neutral , and 15% towards chaos ; her enneagram 3 and 4 , scoring 13 for both compared to her scores of 12 for type 6 , 11.3 for type 8 , 10.7 for type 2 , and 10.3 for type 5 . her temperament is melancholic , and her tropes consist of the byronic hero , dark messiah , the atoner , knight in sour armor , glory seeker , martyr without a cause , the cynic , jerk with a heart of gold , aloof ally , the trickster , rebellious spirit , consummate liar , jack of all trades , opportunistic bastard , deadpan snarker , brilliant , but lazy , holier than thou , hair-trigger temper , pay evil unto evil , brutal honesty , gut feeling , dismotivation , being good sucks , hero with an f in good , and attention seeker .



characteristics : ardent , conscientious , fervid , perspicacious , adroit , affable , alluring , astute , compassionate , resilient , nihilistic , iconoclastic , irreverent , apathetic , casuistic , choleric , complacent , fickle , imprudent , perverse , persumptious , recalcitrant , tactless , volatile , disputatious , self-destructive , mellow , non-comittal , candid , insouciant , aloof , enigmatic , opinionated , hedonistic , melancholic .



ailments : malachi unfortunately suffers from borderline personality disorder , addiction ; specifically to alcohol and nicotine ; and a dependency on marijuana ; ptsd , cptsd , generalized anxiety , and depression .
« Last Edit: June 23, 2019, 12:12:23 PM by MALACHI. »
WHAT A DRAG ; BEAUTIFUL AND SAD             A GRAVEYARD ON THE SUN .

FUCKING UP  ,  YOU JUST

                                        SELF-DESTRUCT , ABANDONED AND UNDONE .

Offline MALACHI.

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« Reply #6 on: June 08, 2019, 05:52:14 PM »
tw for : suicidal ideation , self-harm and mutilation , anti-religion , and sexual themes .



alluring ; enigmatic ; charistmatic : Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Potenti nullam ac tortor vitae. Augue interdum velit euismod in pellentesque massa placerat duis ultricies. Lacinia quis vel eros donec ac. Viverra nam libero justo laoreet sit amet cursus sit. Morbi non arcu risus quis varius quam. Sem viverra aliquet eget sit. Nunc sed id semper risus. Et netus et malesuada fames ac. Faucibus et molestie ac feugiat sed.

Platea dictumst vestibulum rhoncus est pellentesque elit. In hac habitasse platea dictumst vestibulum rhoncus. Vitae elementum curabitur vitae nunc sed. Augue mauris augue neque gravida in fermentum et sollicitudin ac. Sagittis id consectetur purus ut faucibus pulvinar elementum integer. Sit amet nisl suscipit adipiscing. Urna et pharetra pharetra massa massa ultricies mi quis hendrerit. Ultricies tristique nulla aliquet enim tortor at auctor. Nibh praesent tristique magna sit amet purus gravida quis blandit. Vel facilisis volutpat est velit. Consectetur adipiscing elit ut aliquam purus sit amet luctus venenatis. Libero enim sed faucibus turpis in eu. Scelerisque mauris pellentesque pulvinar pellentesque habitant morbi .



flirtatious ; crude ; perverse : her sexuality is embedded deep within her personality as it is one of , if not her main , expressor . suggestive , vulgar , and incredibly lewd , it may be more of an understatement to say malachi has her head buried deep within the gutter . viewing herself as quite the casanova with a habit of breaking hearts , it's not exactly a stretch when those who get tangled within her web of casual indulgence , tell you malachi is a goddamned fox ; naturally suave ; it comes easy . with a tongue so sweet and words crafted smoother than honey , man , she really knows how to weasel her way under someone's skin . she'll tell you everything you wish to hear and then some . playfully and painfully teasing in all the best and worst ways possible , it seems like its her sworn duty to get a rise out just about anyone she comes into contact with . considerably the spiritual embodiment of a fifteen-year-old boy , malachi would even admit , her level of humor couldn't be any more childish as she's never above passing a slick comment here and there in order raise a few brows or treading boundaries to flaunt her proclaimed finesse in hopes of impressing those she idolizes . with that being said , malachi is a relatively simple-minded person who is very easily pleased , and who's buttons are very , very easy to press , that is , if you're one of those willing to entertain her antics . getting her wrapped her around your finger isn't a hard task to do , and she's often susceptible to manipulation due to her tendency to often value lust over love . she's unabashedly bold in her exclamation for topics more sensous , stating her intents upfront , never the one to sugar coat just what she's looking for . however , malachi tries her hardest to keep her eccentricity within the limits of good-natured fun and won't push those subjected to her provocative humor to limits they're uncomfortable with when detecting their discomfort or made aware of such ; immediately apologizing and backing off .



easygoing ; fervid ; personable : Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Potenti nullam ac tortor vitae. Augue interdum velit euismod in pellentesque massa placerat duis ultricies. Lacinia quis vel eros donec ac. Viverra nam libero justo laoreet sit amet cursus sit. Morbi non arcu risus quis varius quam. Sem viverra aliquet eget sit. Nunc sed id semper risus. Et netus et malesuada fames ac. Faucibus et molestie ac feugiat sed.

Platea dictumst vestibulum rhoncus est pellentesque elit. In hac habitasse platea dictumst vestibulum rhoncus. Vitae elementum curabitur vitae nunc sed. Augue mauris augue neque gravida in fermentum et sollicitudin ac. Sagittis id consectetur purus ut faucibus pulvinar elementum integer. Sit amet nisl suscipit adipiscing. Urna et pharetra pharetra massa massa ultricies mi quis hendrerit. Ultricies tristique nulla aliquet enim tortor at auctor. Nibh praesent tristique magna sit amet purus gravida quis blandit. Vel facilisis volutpat est velit. Consectetur adipiscing elit ut aliquam purus sit amet luctus venenatis. Libero enim sed faucibus turpis in eu. Scelerisque mauris pellentesque pulvinar pellentesque habitant morbi .



reckless ; imprudent ; tactless : easily stimulated and always in search of a rush , malachi seems to have no sense of impulse control whatsoever . anyone'll be able to tell you that . she lives life on edge , thriving off of the adrenaline that surges through her veins and the risk of consequence as just about anything she views , is a competitive challenge . rarely heeding words of advice or the reason of common sense , any dangers you may warn malachi of seems to go right into one ear and straight out of the other , and it's simply because she doesn't care . ask why ? she'll tell you " no reason . just don't . " wip .



non-commital ; fickle ; complacent : Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Potenti nullam ac tortor vitae. Augue interdum velit euismod in pellentesque massa placerat duis ultricies. Lacinia quis vel eros donec ac. Viverra nam libero justo laoreet sit amet cursus sit. Morbi non arcu risus quis varius quam. Sem viverra aliquet eget sit. Nunc sed id semper risus. Et netus et malesuada fames ac. Faucibus et molestie ac feugiat sed.

Platea dictumst vestibulum rhoncus est pellentesque elit. In hac habitasse platea dictumst vestibulum rhoncus. Vitae elementum curabitur vitae nunc sed. Augue mauris augue neque gravida in fermentum et sollicitudin ac. Sagittis id consectetur purus ut faucibus pulvinar elementum integer. Sit amet nisl suscipit adipiscing. Urna et pharetra pharetra massa massa ultricies mi quis hendrerit. Ultricies tristique nulla aliquet enim tortor at auctor. Nibh praesent tristique magna sit amet purus gravida quis blandit. Vel facilisis volutpat est velit. Consectetur adipiscing elit ut aliquam purus sit amet luctus venenatis. Libero enim sed faucibus turpis in eu. Scelerisque mauris pellentesque pulvinar pellentesque habitant morbi .



apprehensive ; wary ; hypervigilant : Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Potenti nullam ac tortor vitae. Augue interdum velit euismod in pellentesque massa placerat duis ultricies. Lacinia quis vel eros donec ac. Viverra nam libero justo laoreet sit amet cursus sit. Morbi non arcu risus quis varius quam. Sem viverra aliquet eget sit. Nunc sed id semper risus. Et netus et malesuada fames ac. Faucibus et molestie ac feugiat sed.

Platea dictumst vestibulum rhoncus est pellentesque elit. In hac habitasse platea dictumst vestibulum rhoncus. Vitae elementum curabitur vitae nunc sed. Augue mauris augue neque gravida in fermentum et sollicitudin ac. Sagittis id consectetur purus ut faucibus pulvinar elementum integer. Sit amet nisl suscipit adipiscing. Urna et pharetra pharetra massa massa ultricies mi quis hendrerit. Ultricies tristique nulla aliquet enim tortor at auctor. Nibh praesent tristique magna sit amet purus gravida quis blandit. Vel facilisis volutpat est velit. Consectetur adipiscing elit ut aliquam purus sit amet luctus venenatis. Libero enim sed faucibus turpis in eu. Scelerisque mauris pellentesque pulvinar pellentesque habitant morbi .



iconoclastic ; nihilistic ; skeptic : heaven and hell , god and satan — though raised under strict christian principles , stories of these fictitional beings have never been something she's much believed in . call her a heretic . in fact , malachi very , very strongly rejects the idea of religion . the word of god , in specific . quite frankly , there is a deep , festered hatred for the deity known as " christ " . and while she doesn't think him to be real — nothing more than a faux symbol of morality and righteousness gifted to those too weak to take accountability for the wrongs committed and accept the reality that everyone ends up in a coffin ; so they get down and their hands and knees to kiss the boots of a man who promises " salvation " in exchange for blind servitude for the rest of their lives . it's disgusting — repulsive . living as a sheep ? the thought leaves a bitter taste in her mouth . jesus wasn't a good guy . nah . he never was . but he is , however , a liar . if he so happened to be the " kind " , " compassionate " , " merciful savior " , then just what was his reasoning for sending the world into collapse ? for tearing lives apart ? for stealing futures ? her own future ? despite the countless pleas for help , he remained negligent , supine — silent . an enabler of unnecessary suffering . malachi cannot forgive him for such a crime .

not to mention , the bible's full of contradictions . it advocates more hate and destruction than it preaches for love and peace , and it all reflects through the parading of his cult . she wants nothing to do with it — nothing to do with an ideology that can't even agree with itself . malachi hates that it's not through genuine faith that these particular people follow him . they don't commit to the things that they do out of the true good of their heart . they only perform under the threat of eternal damnation . that's not real faith . it will never be real faith ; and god is a lying , cheating , despicable scumbag who preys on and exploits the insecurities of simple men . and you know , it really makes you think , between he and satan , just who is the true evil ? she won't fall victim .

it's also about assuming control . malachi refuses to believe she's supposed to live her life on someone else's terms , let alone a man — a fabulist who doesn't even exist . she doesn't believe he has the right to determine whether or not she's a " good " or " bad " person , deserving of " salvation " . nah , that's bullshit . she will live how she wants to , and she will die when and how she wants to .



vindictive ; righteous ; pious : however , malachi's also quite the hypocrite . while she's confident in her proclaimed disdain for christ and the cross , and believes her reasonings to be an unrivaled truth , in a way , her own views are greatly derived from his described talents that she strives to imitate . while outwardly appearing entirely detached from all moral values , malachi is someone who views herself as a " godlike " figure who is capable of committing no error — should commit no error , and who's duty is to correct right from wrong — to punish all those who have inflicted harm upon her and those she value . possessing what one could call a " dark messiah " complex , malachi very much considers herself as an " avenger " , often visualizing and obsessing over imagined scenarios where she is narrated as the " chosen martyr " , delivering punishment of what she accepts as " fair retribution " while shouldering the sins of all of those around her . though rejecting the employment of authority by those other than herself , malachi sets herself to a very high moral standard , and views anything that seems to challenge her ideas , as malicious or evil-intended . she's a protector , unwavering in the people she wishes to defend ; under shared empathy and the lack of judgement towards those who fit under the " underdog " profile or particularly those unable to defend themselves , though she will go to extremes , without regard for any opposing forces , to rid humanity of what she believes to be evil . however this behavior is threaded within a defining flaw of malachi's : her self-worth and absence of self-image . with a subconscious need to prove her morality to others under the core belief that there is no being capable of committing worse evil than she herself , targetting immoral and malicious figures provides her with a sense of purpose that she's been missing ; a method of atonement . to be the person to accept hurt rather than inflict it upon those who are innocent , is noble — a cause she's willing to die for . . even if the " necessary sacrifice " is an imagined one .



masochistic ; self-destructive : tied within these particular thoughts , lie malachi's view on existence , and you begin to wonder if it's the only thing that ever occupies her mind . oddly obsessed with the idea of death , suicide , and all things macabre , to her , it's a romantic tragedy — the only way she'd wish to go out . the only way malachi is dead-set on going out . and while malachi may appear to be a committed hedonist , seeking the finer luxuries in life that ensure her own personal happiness : sex , drugs , and music ; her outlook on mortality and spirituality rest upon a much , much darker plane . malachi romanticizes death , it's no secret — utterly glorifies it . it's all she ever talks about , it seems ; known to ramble on about those particular scenarios she creates within her head that places both her and death at the epicenter . and what's more unsettling , is that malachi tends to do so casually . all out of humor , even — like it's a simple off-hand comment to a friend , seemingly unfazed by the grim setting . she doesn't think much of it . she doesn't care to think much of it . so on this topic , malachi unfortunately deals with a lot of self-harm issues , going on to develop an emotional addiction to pain . she likes to feel it , in a way — has to feel it in order to feel real . it serves as an anchor . the physical reminder that she is in fact still human . though , from an outsider's standpoint , you could say , her behavior may exhibit extreme at times , but ultimately , you won't think much of it because , really , she's still just a kid . for kids , of course , things like that is normal . recklessness is normal ; you think the world can't touch you , and so-on . it's what teenagers do because they're teenagers . however , there is a fine threshold between being young , a bit dumb , and irresponsible , and being downright neglectful of both your wellbeing and those around you , and that's exactly the line malachi has breached .

with everything she does , in time , you'll be able to discern what is normal and what is not — by the way she so carelessly throws herself into these petty brawls , spitting the blood from her mouth with a lopsided grin as if she enjoys the feeling of knuckles against her cheeks , and turning right back around to do it again all in the same day — the way she traces her fingers along the stitches that line each split knuckle , only for her to tear them out because theyre " irritating " ; the way she finds herself carefully pressing into each bruise with the blade of a knife in order to see " how much it can take before it breaks " out of the name of " curiosity " . it's the way she picks at those stitches until they bleed just because of " the urge " ; the way she never allows herself to rest because she's already back with another injury . it's a cycle she can't seem to break — it's a cycle she's not sure she can break as it does provide emotional release . especially so when she's feeling rather impulsive . of course , these tendencies are also rooted in malachi's childhood spent with agnes . pain is something she grew up with . grown accustomed to . consider it an old friend — learning to adapt was something malachi had to do earlier than any child should have . and while malachi has , over the years , developed a tolerance for beatings , whether it be physical or verbal , it's still something she struggles heavily with . this time , it's in the way she gets so upset — so damn angry at just the drop of a dime ; at the smallest thing — at herself ; that she will kick , and kick , and kick herself down and refuse to allow herself back up . it's in the way once her fuse is lit , it's near impossible to extinguish it . it's the way fists connect with concrete wall , skin tearing ; over and over , and over , and over , while she continues to ignore the red that seeps between the spaces of her fingers and stains the ground . it's the way those punches pick up in intensity in an attempt to find release , only to receive nothing but the same feeling of absolute loathing . it's in the way she kicks and smashes ; an animalistic urge to destroy everything in her path ; until she burns out . it's in the way malachi absolutely feels she has to hurt herself in the worst ways possible — for every mistake and error — for nothing at all ; she has to punish herself for it .

and going on to address other influences that affect her ideals ; music , or what music used to be , is one of them ; and the domestic dreams of her becoming a rockstar once the apocalypse has ceased is definitely one of the biggest points . throughout her studies of past legends in the entertainment scene , malachi has come to idolize a specific group of people : the 27's club . viewing their lives of fame and glory leading up to their deaths to be noble , she wishes to obtain the same riches they once posessed ; also believing in the " tortured artist " trope , and considering it crucial to her own process of going about life and documenting her experiences . it inspires . she can relate . all great art derives from some source of pain , and in a way , she visualizes her own death to be that art . frequently alluding to , and explicitly describing all the ways she'd gore herself for eventually and prematurely taking her own life ; malachi wants her death to reflect the turbulence of all that she feels inside . it's painful . it's ugly . it hurts . but , she also thinks it to be beautiful . beautiful , sad , and true . posthumous living . it's beautiful . she doesn't want to be forgotten . and if anyone had to remember her for anything , it'd be just that . maybe she'd be loved then . people always seem to care a little bit more when you're buried six feet under than they do when you're alive .



dualistic ; apathetic : a defense coping mechanism used to avoid getting hurt and make sense of the world around her ; a way malachi can view people , events , and even herself on a " black and white " spectrum or " all or nothing " terms , she " splits " , meaning malachi has difficulty holding opposing thoughts , beliefs , or feelings ; she cannot weigh the positive or negative attributes of a person or event , or recognize that those good and bad attributes can be true simultaneously . to her , it’s only “ good “ or “ bad “ , “ always “ or “ never “ and she will typically frame individuals or events on terms where there is no middle ground for discussion or argument . for example : to malachi , people are either " perfect " or " angels " , or " evil " or " liars " . or , she may say " i love you " , and then turn around and say " i hate you , stay away from me ! " in the same breath . or , when a situation goes wrong , malachi will often feel " cheated " or " screwed-over " or that " her life's completely fallen apart " , which often leads others to believe that she is overdramatic as her views are rapidly changing . this method of thinking is considered easy as it allows malachi to narrow the options of certain thoughts into two , instead of approaching it as an entirety . this way , it's manageble and gives her a sense of control .

this leads to the paradox between malachi's strong sense of empathy and subconscious exertion of apathy . due to filtering life on limited terms , malachi is very brutal by means on judging one's character based on already established expectations , unforgiving , and prone to hold intense grudges for an exceptional amount of time — near infinitely . however , this ultimately stems in the adopted illusion that all mistakes are intentionally made with the motive to harm her . when an individual she idolizes or values strays from the image she has visualized , she's quick to discard them as they are now considered " threatening " or " deceptive " . becoming cold and unresponsive and usually without notice , malachi will withdraw from that individual until she's completely removed herself from the relationship , or , she will force the other out even when her fears are irrational to the actual situation . this also causes others to think of malachi as selfish ; often described as self-absorbed , and shallow , bordering narcisisstic as its of the assistance of this trait that lowers malachi's ability to predict and understand the emotional state of others . however , what most don't realize that this is also a means of projection . concerning those traits of " narcissism " and " self-absorption " , tagged with her " absolute need " for perfectionism , it's malachi's own refusal to be seen as anything less than , though , it's easy to label her as someone with a " everything has to be about me or else " complex as she seemingly attempts to make it all about her — what can you provide for her , what can you do to satisfy her , how can you meet all her needs and expectations while treading on eggshells . at the core of this : it's all rooted in the fear of imagined or threatened abandonedment .



idealistic ; visonary ; detached : a true visionary , one could say ; malachi always seems to have her head lost in the clouds . quite the prolific thinker , though ironic due to her extreme impulsivity that seems to spoil such attributes , she probably does more thinking than anyone you'd know — more thinking than one ever should ; absorbing and psychoanalyzing each and every thought , however , unsure if it's a trait of positive or negative implications . so , with this , it's pretty apparent that malachi's a rather spacey individual — constantly zoned out and unable to keep focused for long . it's not hard to tell when her attention's centered elsewhere ; there's always a certain look that adorns her face . she doesn't tend to make much effort to hide it , either . you'll know . and though while she may seem too far astray in her over-excessive thinking , there is also a positive to having a brain with no off-button to switch . clever than a damn fox , malachi is one hell of a force when it comes to pulling tricks from her sleeves ; crafty with each idea concieved . if there's not a way , she'll create one . however , entirely comitting to some of these ideas isn't something malachi can quite do ; constantly flip-flopping , sifting , and shifting back and forth between the layers of these thoughts . but , due to such , she is also able to embrace a very large visual pattern of creative thoughts , and her level of intuition is , quite frankly , insane , and she'd much rather prefer to use that skill as opposed to normal logical means , testing theories through her own vivid imagery and refusing to conform to any limitations that time , resources , and space may bring . she also uses these fantasies to separate herself from anyone or anything that exhibits discomfort , too much challenge , or too much structure in her life .



volatile ; temperamental ; choleric : malachi is someone who feels emotions with greater ease , depth , and for a much longer time than the average person to environmental circumstances ; especially sensitive to feelings of rejection , criticism , isolation , and perceived failure . the little things people can brush off so easily , malachi can't . nearly anything can be trigger for an intense emotional reaction , and once upset , she has extreme difficulty calming down . though , typically , in this rage , fear or panic is something that accompanies ; recklessly executed in search of release . completely consumed by rage , she is prone to explosive outbursts , throwing or hitting objects , yelling , or starting fights . however , her rage isn't always directed towards those receiving the brunt of her episodes . malachi harbors a lot of internalized anger directed towards herself that eventually erupts outward . some of these outbursts are also used as a method to regain the attention of an individual she's grown attached to , wanting to urge a reaction that would cause the other to provide desired affection . she is often aware of the severity of her reactions , but , unable to regulate them , she tends to shut down completely . one moment , she may feel happy — euphoric as if she's " on top of the world " , the next — morose . in a more simple matter , she experiences the highest highs and the lowest lows ; more susceptible to feelings of dysphoria , depression , or feelings of mental and emotional distress . however , there are three specific states : feeling " betrayed " , feeling " out of control " , and feeling like " hurting herself " .



dependent ; obsessive ; susceptible : however , also in regards to her sexuality being embedded a great deal within malachi's defining behavior , it isn't just a casual interest she likes to express , but is very heavily rooted in a fundamental base of trauma and diminished self-worth . while it's known there's a paradox that exists within malachi's behaviors , in specific , a battle between her senses of displayed apathy and overwhelming internalized empathy , addressing in general , malachi's views on people are very much materialistic and superficial , categorizing those of interest mainly on perceived sexual usefulness ( those tending to be the " caregiver " types in which she gravitates towards ) ; considering these particular people as " objects " , " tools " , or " points " towards a goal , while often ignoring the actual humanity of said person — all feelings , wants , or needs typically left neglected or downplayed as a result of malachi's seemingly selfish persuit of fulfillment . while it's an obvious problematic way of thinking , back to methods of coping and in defense , that is exactly what occurs here . in reality , it's malachi herself who's placing her worth in the exhibition of sexual attractiveness and availability as she only feels as if she's only useful when being used . most importantly , it's a skewed aspect of power that reveals itself through her masochistic tendencies as malachi does have a very bad habit of deliberately seeking out harmful , abusive , toxic relationships and individuals , most specifically , and most often , those who emulate her own past abuser(s) . rooted in her innate , yet never fulfilled desire to please agnes who gained her own pleasure , happiness , and amusement out of the abuse inflicted upon malachi , this is what she's looking to do in these other relationships . the idea of being used , physically harmed , mistreated , or degraded is most desirable because she feels as if then , she's been given a purpose . doesn't matter if she's the one who receives punishment because it's also something she believes is deserved and ought to settle for regardless . if they acquire pleasure from it , then that ought to mean she's doing something right . . right ?

and despite being someone who struggles so intensely with power control and needing to be the person in possession of it , it's these particular relationships malachi has no problem surrendering to . for one : her " truth " behind her existence has essentially been affirmed . and while validation and praise is sought for in return , malachi doesn't put much faith into the idea it'd be received , and settles for it anyway — seemingly contently . and two : once again , paired with her core belief that she is inherently bad , and that outside of sexual settings , she lacks usefulness and desirability ; life of instability , turbulence , and sacrifice is familiar — an emotional safety net as anything that differs , particularly stable and healthy relationships are threatening and dangerous , and something to be avoided .

despite often being chaotic and unable to maintain , relationships mean absolutely everything to malachi , though she's very emotionally guarded as she only allows herself to genuinely care for very few people . however , she is quite sensitive to the way others treat and view her — malachi takes just about everything personal , and she tends to put out more than those put in . idealizing potential caregivers or lovers upon first or second meeting , she often tends to " fall in love " with strangers , sharing even the most intimate details of her personal life early in the relationship ; though , her feelings aren't necessarily genuine , but more of a projection of a connection she yearns for , but has always lacked . however , those ' feelings ' are also short-lived and ultimately abandoned — her feelings for another individual rapidly shifting from extreme idealization , love , and appreciation to extreme devaluzation , hatred , and demonization over small occurrences ; feeling as if that person " does not care enough " , " does not give enough " , or " is not there enough "  . however , malachi is used to rejection . if she's shown even a slight amount of attention or compassion , she will attach herself to them in hopes that they'll give her a sense of purpose .



empathic ; empathetic ; sensitive : Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Potenti nullam ac tortor vitae. Augue interdum velit euismod in pellentesque massa placerat duis ultricies. Lacinia quis vel eros donec ac. Viverra nam libero justo laoreet sit amet cursus sit. Morbi non arcu risus quis varius quam. Sem viverra aliquet eget sit. Nunc sed id semper risus. Et netus et malesuada fames ac. Faucibus et molestie ac feugiat sed.

Platea dictumst vestibulum rhoncus est pellentesque elit. In hac habitasse platea dictumst vestibulum rhoncus. Vitae elementum curabitur vitae nunc sed. Augue mauris augue neque gravida in fermentum et sollicitudin ac. Sagittis id consectetur purus ut faucibus pulvinar elementum integer. Sit amet nisl suscipit adipiscing. Urna et pharetra pharetra massa massa ultricies mi quis hendrerit. Ultricies tristique nulla aliquet enim tortor at auctor. Nibh praesent tristique magna sit amet purus gravida quis blandit. Vel facilisis volutpat est velit. Consectetur adipiscing elit ut aliquam purus sit amet luctus venenatis. Libero enim sed faucibus turpis in eu. Scelerisque mauris pellentesque pulvinar pellentesque habitant morbi .



loyal ; devoted ; steadfast : plagued with an unyielding , deep rooted distrust for all people , loyalty is something she values over all things .


« Last Edit: June 23, 2019, 04:28:12 PM by MALACHI. »
WHAT A DRAG ; BEAUTIFUL AND SAD             A GRAVEYARD ON THE SUN .

FUCKING UP  ,  YOU JUST

                                        SELF-DESTRUCT , ABANDONED AND UNDONE .

Offline MALACHI.

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« Reply #7 on: June 08, 2019, 05:52:49 PM »
objectives : Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Potenti nullam ac tortor vitae. Augue interdum velit euismod in pellentesque massa placerat duis ultricies. Lacinia quis vel eros donec ac. Viverra nam libero justo laoreet sit amet cursus sit. Morbi non arcu risus quis varius quam. Sem viverra aliquet eget sit. Nunc sed id semper risus. Et netus et malesuada fames ac. Faucibus et molestie ac feugiat sed.

hobbies : Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Potenti nullam ac tortor vitae. Augue interdum velit euismod in pellentesque massa placerat duis ultricies. Lacinia quis vel eros donec ac. Viverra nam libero justo laoreet sit amet cursus sit. Morbi non arcu risus quis varius quam. Sem viverra aliquet eget sit. Nunc sed id semper risus. Et netus et malesuada fames ac. Faucibus et molestie ac feugiat sed.

quirks : Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Potenti nullam ac tortor vitae. Augue interdum velit euismod in pellentesque massa placerat duis ultricies. Lacinia quis vel eros donec ac. Viverra nam libero justo laoreet sit amet cursus sit. Morbi non arcu risus quis varius quam. Sem viverra aliquet eget sit. Nunc sed id semper risus. Et netus et malesuada fames ac. Faucibus et molestie ac feugiat sed.

habits : Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Potenti nullam ac tortor vitae. Augue interdum velit euismod in pellentesque massa placerat duis ultricies. Lacinia quis vel eros donec ac. Viverra nam libero justo laoreet sit amet cursus sit. Morbi non arcu risus quis varius quam. Sem viverra aliquet eget sit. Nunc sed id semper risus. Et netus et malesuada fames ac. Faucibus et molestie ac feugiat sed.

instigators : Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Potenti nullam ac tortor vitae. Augue interdum velit euismod in pellentesque massa placerat duis ultricies. Lacinia quis vel eros donec ac. Viverra nam libero justo laoreet sit amet cursus sit. Morbi non arcu risus quis varius quam. Sem viverra aliquet eget sit. Nunc sed id semper risus. Et netus et malesuada fames ac. Faucibus et molestie ac feugiat sed.

soft spots : Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Potenti nullam ac tortor vitae. Augue interdum velit euismod in pellentesque massa placerat duis ultricies. Lacinia quis vel eros donec ac. Viverra nam libero justo laoreet sit amet cursus sit. Morbi non arcu risus quis varius quam. Sem viverra aliquet eget sit. Nunc sed id semper risus. Et netus et malesuada fames ac. Faucibus et molestie ac feugiat sed.

likes : Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Potenti nullam ac tortor vitae. Augue interdum velit euismod in pellentesque massa placerat duis ultricies. Lacinia quis vel eros donec ac. Viverra nam libero justo laoreet sit amet cursus sit. Morbi non arcu risus quis varius quam. Sem viverra aliquet eget sit. Nunc sed id semper risus. Et netus et malesuada fames ac. Faucibus et molestie ac feugiat sed.

dislikes : Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Potenti nullam ac tortor vitae. Augue interdum velit euismod in pellentesque massa placerat duis ultricies. Lacinia quis vel eros donec ac. Viverra nam libero justo laoreet sit amet cursus sit. Morbi non arcu risus quis varius quam. Sem viverra aliquet eget sit. Nunc sed id semper risus. Et netus et malesuada fames ac. Faucibus et molestie ac feugiat sed.

talents : Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Potenti nullam ac tortor vitae. Augue interdum velit euismod in pellentesque massa placerat duis ultricies. Lacinia quis vel eros donec ac. Viverra nam libero justo laoreet sit amet cursus sit. Morbi non arcu risus quis varius quam. Sem viverra aliquet eget sit. Nunc sed id semper risus. Et netus et malesuada fames ac. Faucibus et molestie ac feugiat sed.

weaknesses : Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Potenti nullam ac tortor vitae. Augue interdum velit euismod in pellentesque massa placerat duis ultricies. Lacinia quis vel eros donec ac. Viverra nam libero justo laoreet sit amet cursus sit. Morbi non arcu risus quis varius quam. Sem viverra aliquet eget sit. Nunc sed id semper risus. Et netus et malesuada fames ac. Faucibus et molestie ac feugiat sed.
« Last Edit: June 23, 2019, 12:11:31 PM by MALACHI. »
WHAT A DRAG ; BEAUTIFUL AND SAD             A GRAVEYARD ON THE SUN .

FUCKING UP  ,  YOU JUST

                                        SELF-DESTRUCT , ABANDONED AND UNDONE .

Offline MALACHI.

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« Reply #8 on: June 15, 2019, 12:17:40 AM »
reserved space for appearance .
« Last Edit: June 23, 2019, 12:11:13 PM by MALACHI. »
WHAT A DRAG ; BEAUTIFUL AND SAD             A GRAVEYARD ON THE SUN .

FUCKING UP  ,  YOU JUST

                                        SELF-DESTRUCT , ABANDONED AND UNDONE .

Offline MALACHI.

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« Reply #9 on: June 18, 2019, 07:12:55 AM »
*     DANIEL ALLEN      /        BIOLOGICAL FATHER ( ?? / 10 )


Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Potenti nullam ac tortor vitae. Augue interdum velit euismod in pellentesque massa placerat duis ultricies. Lacinia quis vel eros donec ac. Viverra nam libero justo laoreet sit amet cursus sit. Morbi non arcu risus quis varius quam. Sem viverra aliquet eget sit. Nunc sed id semper risus. Et netus et malesuada fames ac. Faucibus et molestie ac feugiat sed.

Platea dictumst vestibulum rhoncus est pellentesque elit. In hac habitasse platea dictumst vestibulum rhoncus. Vitae elementum curabitur vitae nunc sed. Augue mauris augue neque gravida in fermentum et sollicitudin ac. Sagittis id consectetur purus ut faucibus pulvinar elementum integer. Sit amet nisl suscipit adipiscing. Urna et pharetra pharetra massa massa ultricies mi quis hendrerit. Ultricies tristique nulla aliquet enim tortor at auctor. Nibh praesent tristique magna sit amet purus gravida quis blandit. Vel facilisis volutpat est velit. Consectetur adipiscing elit ut aliquam purus sit amet luctus venenatis. Libero enim sed faucibus turpis in eu. Scelerisque mauris pellentesque pulvinar pellentesque habitant morbi .


*     ERAN ALLEN      /        BIOLOGICAL MOTHER ( 2 / 10 )


Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Potenti nullam ac tortor vitae. Augue interdum velit euismod in pellentesque massa placerat duis ultricies. Lacinia quis vel eros donec ac. Viverra nam libero justo laoreet sit amet cursus sit. Morbi non arcu risus quis varius quam. Sem viverra aliquet eget sit. Nunc sed id semper risus. Et netus et malesuada fames ac. Faucibus et molestie ac feugiat sed.

Platea dictumst vestibulum rhoncus est pellentesque elit. In hac habitasse platea dictumst vestibulum rhoncus. Vitae elementum curabitur vitae nunc sed. Augue mauris augue neque gravida in fermentum et sollicitudin ac. Sagittis id consectetur purus ut faucibus pulvinar elementum integer. Sit amet nisl suscipit adipiscing. Urna et pharetra pharetra massa massa ultricies mi quis hendrerit. Ultricies tristique nulla aliquet enim tortor at auctor. Nibh praesent tristique magna sit amet purus gravida quis blandit. Vel facilisis volutpat est velit. Consectetur adipiscing elit ut aliquam purus sit amet luctus venenatis. Libero enim sed faucibus turpis in eu. Scelerisque mauris pellentesque pulvinar pellentesque habitant morbi .


*     AGNES      /        ADOPTIVE MOTHER ( -11 / 10 )


Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Potenti nullam ac tortor vitae. Augue interdum velit euismod in pellentesque massa placerat duis ultricies. Lacinia quis vel eros donec ac. Viverra nam libero justo laoreet sit amet cursus sit. Morbi non arcu risus quis varius quam. Sem viverra aliquet eget sit. Nunc sed id semper risus. Et netus et malesuada fames ac. Faucibus et molestie ac feugiat sed.

Platea dictumst vestibulum rhoncus est pellentesque elit. In hac habitasse platea dictumst vestibulum rhoncus. Vitae elementum curabitur vitae nunc sed. Augue mauris augue neque gravida in fermentum et sollicitudin ac. Sagittis id consectetur purus ut faucibus pulvinar elementum integer. Sit amet nisl suscipit adipiscing. Urna et pharetra pharetra massa massa ultricies mi quis hendrerit. Ultricies tristique nulla aliquet enim tortor at auctor. Nibh praesent tristique magna sit amet purus gravida quis blandit. Vel facilisis volutpat est velit. Consectetur adipiscing elit ut aliquam purus sit amet luctus venenatis. Libero enim sed faucibus turpis in eu. Scelerisque mauris pellentesque pulvinar pellentesque habitant morbi .
« Last Edit: June 18, 2019, 10:30:58 AM by MALACHI. »
WHAT A DRAG ; BEAUTIFUL AND SAD             A GRAVEYARD ON THE SUN .

FUCKING UP  ,  YOU JUST

                                        SELF-DESTRUCT , ABANDONED AND UNDONE .

Offline MALACHI.

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« Reply #10 on: June 18, 2019, 07:13:27 AM »
reserved space for connections .
« Last Edit: June 23, 2019, 12:11:03 PM by MALACHI. »
WHAT A DRAG ; BEAUTIFUL AND SAD             A GRAVEYARD ON THE SUN .

FUCKING UP  ,  YOU JUST

                                        SELF-DESTRUCT , ABANDONED AND UNDONE .

Offline MALACHI.

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« Reply #11 on: June 18, 2019, 07:14:05 AM »
tw for : child abuse , murder , violence , and child death , parental death .



malachi was born on the 2nd of november in the rugged city of brooklyn , new york to a couple of high school sweethearts , daniel and eran allen who had retreated to the area a few years prior to the blackout . hopeful and determined , despite the sudden collapse of humanity as all once knew , they were eager to welcome the new addition to their cozy family two . dedicating themselves to being devoted parents and providing the best life they could possibly give to their beloved daughter , they lived a relatively sheltered and peaceful life for the following years to come , thriving as a content , tight-knit family . that is , until malachi reaches the age of two . running short on food , her father departs on a mission to the outskirts of the city in pursuit of goods to bring back , but . . he fails to return . growing apprehensive and restless as the days that seemingly felt like a lifetime , progressed , the belief that her husband was never going to return home , was starting to become more apparent , yet still unable to digest . grieving , but unwilling to give up on both herself and malachi for malachi's sake , they shortly moved from their home in the city , spending the next few years as weary nomads , hopping from group to group . though , one day , in an isolated town , in search of shelter before night fell upon them , they stumble upon an older woman who introduces herself as agnes . and despite coming off as rather . . off-putting — or at least , didn't look too much like the welcoming type — she offers the duo her own roof for them to sleep under , so gratefully , it's accepted . now settled and with a place to rest their heads , they continued to live with agnes for the following weeks ; malachi's mother providing most of the necessary labor as an expression of her gratitude . however , one fateful night , all peace breaks .

upstairs , malachi sleeps soundly , tucked away in the warmth of her bed , no reason to suspect the tragedy about to unfold below her . in the silence of late night , a single shot rings out throughout the house , rattling the walls and shaking malachi from her sleep . venturing down the stairs , the sense of curiosity overtaking fear , what awaits is an image she'll never forget . in a premeditated attack , her mother was murdered by the woman — shot once in the head ; her death , covered as a selfish act of suicide . malachi was only four then . after the murder — a true devil cloaked within the wool of a sheep ; manipulating malachi's vulnerability from the loss of a parent , yearning for maternal attention , and the now planted seed of rancor sustained by the web of her lies , she eventually took on malachi as her " adoptive " child as yet again , they set off on a journey across the states . however , she was far from maternal — nothing like a mother should be . . nothing like the mother she had . instead , she assumed the role of a dictator — cold , cruel , and demanding . under her care , malachi suffered severe mental and physical abuse , berated , threatened , and harmed on a day-to-day basis , malach had to grow up faster than any child should . starting at age 12 , she would often strip or refuse malachi of the essentials needed to survive — food , water , weapons — leaving her alone to defend herself days to even weeks on end as a " test " to prove her " usefulnesses " . however there was no true evaluation to these tests she would assign as agnes would typically part without announcing her absence — spontaneous and unpredictable — malachi would just have to assume the nature behind her sudden isolation , which forced her to look to other means to survive .

she would teach malachi a life of aggression and violence , ridding her of what was left of her innocence , and sewing a tender heart full of hatred — or so that was the objective . it wasn't the kind of life malachi wanted to live , though . shameful and hesitant — the path malachi walked on was one she long wanted to run from . it was wrong . . . it had never settled right — never felt right . she didn't want to be the person agnes told her she was born to be . but , conditioned to shut down all feelings burdened with weakness , battling moral conscience , and her desperation to please the only person she had left in her life — the person who had saved her — raised her — loved her when her own mother chose the fate of a coward and took her own life to avoid responsibility — she shut it away , ashamed that for a second , she even questioned all that agnes had taught her as of course , like she'd always tell her : she knew best . however , there's a specific day burned into malachi's memory she'll forever lament  — the day malachi caught a young boy , around her own age , attempting to steal food from them , causing her to draw her gun and take aim . but .  .  she wavered — a rule to never be broken , a lesson first taught . no mercy ; don't you dare hesitate ! to falter in the face of a threat is the act of a fool . but . . the terror that shone in his eyes ? it said otherwise . he was no threat , he was starving ; afraid and desperate . there was no harm he could possibly do .

however , that wouldn't be enough for agnes . growing enraged , she began to [ fill this out lmao . i skipped it ]

continuing to travel alongside agnes , it wasn't up until malachi reached the age of 16 when she was away scavenging amidst the city the two had been passing through in search of any valuables that might've been left behind , that she's drawn to a particularly odd area leading into a back road — nothing visually out of the ordinary . but , it was quiet . near silent . something about that area , malachi had a feeling about . for better or worse . though , with agnes not too far astray , she'd figure it'd be fine to check . venturing down the the worn street , her suspicions began to settle . but . . it's not for long . something was off . . . too off . it just wasn't . . right . though she couldn't pinpoint just what it was , she could wholly feel it . without time to react — the crack of a gun shot ; and all she could feel within the blink of a second , was her back against hard grit , unable to move , and an uncomfortably warm liquid soaking through her shirt . a single rifle shot sustained to the side after walking into an animal trap  — or what was intentioned to be ; it was seconds before malachi could grasp that she had been shot . it simply didn’t feel real . it couldn’t have been . but then the heat rose and breathing became a little more difficult .

it isn’t long until agnes arrives , alerted by the sound of the shot , though , upon arrival , taking in the scene before her , her eyes remain indifferent — void of sympathy ; void of concern ; void of worry . there’s nothing to be picked . begging for help , agnes remains stagnant . then . . she simply tells malachi to stand , to which , she attempts to reason with her that she can’t . with a cold blink , believing that she had no further purpose , she tells malachi that she has “ exhausted her use for her “ before promptly turning her back , and disappearing into the distance . abandoned and absolutely petrified ; the red staining the concrete , is starting to pool ; breaths shallow and drawn ; a chill settles into her bones , and her vision begins to blur . she's aware that she doesn't have long . she knew she was going to die . alone and afraid ; she was going to die  — and agnes would let her .
« Last Edit: June 23, 2019, 04:12:15 PM by MALACHI. »
WHAT A DRAG ; BEAUTIFUL AND SAD             A GRAVEYARD ON THE SUN .

FUCKING UP  ,  YOU JUST

                                        SELF-DESTRUCT , ABANDONED AND UNDONE .

Offline MALACHI.

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* inventory .
« Reply #12 on: June 18, 2019, 07:15:58 AM »
malachi owns a worn , though , still sturdy black canvas backpack ; kept strapped to her shoulders . in that backpack , a wide assortment of items can be found . as for those she considers of utmost value and refuses to leave anyplace without , is her bass guitar ; an aged telecaster model , 4 knives ; 4 , an assortment of hunting knvies and switchblades ; the most important one , a sleek black butterfly knife ; a steel baseball bat ; her cassette tape recorder with one spare cassette tape , the other , recorded ; her treasured walkman cassette player , a polaroid camera with no film , her song book , a series of decorated , personal journals ; 4 in total , three fillled ; a worn set of drumsticks , a photo book of paris , the book “ metamorphosis “ by franz kafka , and a white lighter . minor posessions include two comic books , a pack of half-empty cigarettes , various pins and patches she’s collected , a single pack of freeze-dried apples , medical bandages , two granola bars , and a can of beans .
« Last Edit: June 23, 2019, 04:29:34 PM by MALACHI. »
WHAT A DRAG ; BEAUTIFUL AND SAD             A GRAVEYARD ON THE SUN .

FUCKING UP  ,  YOU JUST

                                        SELF-DESTRUCT , ABANDONED AND UNDONE .

Offline MALACHI.

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* combat .
« Reply #13 on: June 18, 2019, 07:22:19 AM »
reserved space for combat .
« Last Edit: June 23, 2019, 12:10:41 PM by MALACHI. »
WHAT A DRAG ; BEAUTIFUL AND SAD             A GRAVEYARD ON THE SUN .

FUCKING UP  ,  YOU JUST

                                        SELF-DESTRUCT , ABANDONED AND UNDONE .

Offline MALACHI.

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* additional notes .
« Reply #14 on: June 18, 2019, 07:24:26 AM »
reserved space for additional notes .
« Last Edit: June 28, 2019, 10:05:58 AM by MALACHI. »
WHAT A DRAG ; BEAUTIFUL AND SAD             A GRAVEYARD ON THE SUN .

FUCKING UP  ,  YOU JUST

                                        SELF-DESTRUCT , ABANDONED AND UNDONE .