Author Topic: we мυѕт reιnvenт love !! [ p. ]  (Read 3243 times)

Offline elysian.

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we мυѕт reιnvenт love !! [ p. ]
« on: July 27, 2017, 02:34:37 PM »
logan cain lawson
i wanna scream i love you from the top of my lungs
they had met up in the airport about half an hour ago and already things were going in a downward spiral. trudging down the aisle to get to their seat felt like he was marching straight towards a death sentence, or at least something akin to it. zack was going to kill him. perhaps it would've been wiser to inform the man that isaac was going with them. perhaps it would've been wiser to inform everyone that the replacement for a member of their stage crew was none other than the well-disliked isaac ashford. yet logan didn't have it in him to want to regret his decision. if they had known, they wouldn't have let him come along. if they had been aware, they would've called loge out right in front of everyone, and been way too prepared to tear isaac down whenever he finally came to the airport. they would've torn him to shreds if he had decided to come, then and just.. loge couldn't stand the thought of being the reason for the other's heartbreak.

the thought of all that he'd put isaac through was enough to make him just about want to cry.

yet, he decided that one of them needed to be strong- and it definitely wasn't isaac. he wasn't mentally prepared for it; logan wasn't quite ready either. out of the two of them, however, logan knew that he would be the support for the other in a heartbeat. the kind of support that he needed. it wasn't much, but the brunet was determined to turn all of his wrongs into rights before this airplane ride was over. if that wasn't possible then, well, calming isaac down was the biggest option that he really had right now. he didn't know how, or what he could possibly say to ease his nerves. the singer always had so many thoughts roaming around in his mind- wording them was when it all got truly difficult. that was why isaac, in his opinion, had simply forever been the better song writer between the two. he had such a quiet nature on the outside, but he could truly put those words to life if you handed him a paper and a pen. it was... it was beautiful.

that was a story for a different time, however.

once they were seated down - logan made sure isaac was at the window seat to shield him from the glares the crew were sending him- he tapped his foot absently. he'd always hated these airplane rides. he rarely managed to fall asleep, and his adhd always managed to run rampant during the worst of times. the worst of times being a plane ride to a completely different country. plus, his energy always sort of took over whenever he was in a certain mood- and this desperation to make isaac happy was working wonders on him. um... sing? no. that would cause far too much attention to the two of them that was unwelcome. um... tell him soothing things? no. dammit, the artist was the worst when it came to offering advice in times like these. sweet nothings had managed to calm isaac down a bit on their way to the terminal and to board the flight, so he felt like continuing to do so would grow old on the other.

then he saw it.

his brown eyes lit up a bit, leaning against the other's shoulder. "hey, isaac. want to watch a movie with me?" hey, what harm could a movie be? it'd distract the other from all the issues he was being forced to face head on right now. and, the movie would be good enough to make the other forget about all of his worries, or be decent enough that once all the lights turned off, he'd end up falling asleep without too much of an issue. sure, the idea was fairly pathetic, but it was the only thing the musician could think of in that moment. he gestured towards the earphone ports, smiling softly. "i mean, i was thinking about watching disney or something, but. it's up to you. we can watch on your screen."

what he did to deserve someone as adorable as isaac for a friend, he had no idea. but, wow, he wasn't going to take it for granted.

thes code


corey bleu
like stars in the sky, and leaves on the trees
corey didn't think that he'd ever been so excited for something in his life. he could himself just buzzing with excitement as the group slowly filtered into the airplane now filled with people. it briefly reminded him of why he oftentimes didn't go on these kinds of things. the large amount of people was kind of stressful for the short male. although, usually he was stuck seated by a stranger for the entire flight, sharing awkward, uncomfortable glances or being forced through brief torture sessions known as small talk. not to mention that he was extremely nervous about being on a plane for longer than an hour- nonetheless for about ten hours. he glanced over his shoulder, a smile easily coming to his lips as his bright blue gaze met samson's. he rose a brow playfully, amusement in his gaze as he turned his head away. luckily, it didn't seem like this flight would be all that bad when he had samson beside him. silently, he was thanking whoever let him have the chance to sit by sam instead of some stranger. he supposed it made sense, seeing as he was kind of, working for the bassist- even while that didn't quite seem to suit the dynamic that the pair had already began to have.

they had only known each other for about five days, and yet they were startlingly close. corey was already startlingly fond of him. for the last couple of days leading up to this flight, his mind had been completely wrapped around that afternoon they had spent together. corey couldn't remember ever getting to be so childish around someone, especially since he was in his late twenties. their whole conversation had been full of making jokes and building more on top of each other's own. egging each other along to lead to the most hilarious topics. it had been easy for corey to relax into their talks, to step out of his little shell that he so often chose to hide in. the black-haired male liked to think that he had every right to say that they were rather good friends. and not to mention getting to hear a few of the other's songs. that thought was enough to get that stupid smile right back to his lips, shaking his head to try and get a hold of himself as he finally reached his seat.

stretching up to be able to put his carry-on up in the overhead bin - he was kind of lacking in the height department so it was a bit of a struggle - he gave a hum of relief to himself as he pushed his case up and in the bin. then with a small grin upon turning to see sam, he couldn't help but beam. "window seat," he declared with the softest of laughs - actually it was probably borderline a giggle it was so giddy - as he slid in and took the seat beside the window. then again, perhaps it was for the best that he was on the inside. samson's legs probably would've gotten a bit too cramped up on the long plane ride to be able to really focus on anything else. meanwhile, airplane seats were fairly kind to corey. it fit his height-challenged legs fairly well. gave him plenty of room- sometimes if he was lucky he could pull his legs up and actually manage to sleep a bit easier than the average person could. meanwhile.. yeah, sam probably needed the option to be able to move his legs out in the aisle for a couple moments.

he closed his eyes to try and calm his present nerves, leaning his head back against the seat while softly murmuring, "your kids are the absolute cutest." there was nothing but a quiet affection laced in his voice as he said it because, god did he mean that. the two had been so adorable, to the point where corey was sure his heart was going to melt right then and there. perhaps it was because he held a soft spot for kids - arguably because he was one at heart - but ava and lincoln had his heart wrapped right around their small fingers. also, to think that both of them had talked to him, especially the ever-shy lincoln was enough to make him that much happier. and to get invited to hang out with them and get ice cream some time. it made his heart swell with affection. after all, corey liked to imagine that both him and sam would be friends even after the tour. being on his kids' good side was a fairly great thing, right?

he hoped that his excitement about this tour was obvious. by all means, why wouldn't he be completely ecstatic? he got to watch his favorite band perform at every concert, and arguably from the best close-up view one could get. also, the most important thing was that he got to spend tons of time with samson. sure, he was nervous about the job, and hoped that he was good enough to have gotten it- but none of that anxiety truly mattered so long as he got to spend time with him in the end. breathing a deep sigh, he opened his eyes to look at the other's own gaze.

"i'm kind of nervous about starting to fly, if i'm gonna be honest. does time go by quicker when you're flying?" just a silly joke but. gosh did he wish it was true.
thes code
« Last Edit: July 27, 2017, 09:51:17 PM by ᵐᵉˡᵃⁿᶜʰᵒˡʸ »

Offline truce.

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Re: we мυѕт reιnvenт love !! [ p. ]
« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2017, 09:32:16 AM »

THERE I JUST SAID IT,
I'M SCARED YOU'LL
FORGET ABOUT ME .

- Isaac James Ashford -
a
How was Isaac that stupid to seriously believe that his return to the band's crew would be anything but a nightmare? The timid male was already made to feel like a fiend who betrayed all of his friends when he abandoned them after claiming that "we are too indecisive when I'm around"; oh wait, that sounds exactly like him. Honestly, he did deserve the bitterness from Spencer, especially since they had been best friends since their childhood and Isaac had easily thrown that friendship down the drain because of his own selfishness. Of course, Spencer knew Isaac too well, Logan did too, and perhaps they managed to quickly uncover the unrevealed motive behind Isaac's departure. Though soft-spoken and quiet-natured, the group all knew of Isaac's stubborn and bossy attitude when it came to making choices; the band's dark horse, he had to call shots on everything when it came to decisions in the band but, after too much disagreement, he didn't want to feel like his suggestions - more like commands - were being overlooked. And so, he left.

Isaac actually definitely got what he deserved after the conflict between him, Spencer and Zack earlier; well, he thought he deserved it anyway.  And so, his eyes were fixed to the ground sheepishly as he shuffled onto the airplane, following Logan like a lamb, eyes puffy and terribly blood-shot from his tears earlier. If he was any more worked up after the past dispute, you could be sure that Isaac would not have been where he was right now, clambering into his seat silently. He had been moments away from taking his luggage and going back home simply due to the cruel words which were spat venomously from Spencer's lips.

Once sat down, Isaac squirmed uncomfortably in his seat, simply not speaking a word with the not-so-hidden fear that his words will create a tonne of criticism from the others nearby. Perhaps he was simply overwhelmed at that moment but he felt like, if he could, he would be all right with saying very little throughout this tour simply to create as little tension as possible. And then, soon enough, he can return home with his pay check and lead the dull life he lived before, only a little richer. Pretend none of this ever happened. Forget Spencer. Forget Zack. Forget Samson.

Forget Logan.

Isaac swallowed hard, his body feeling weak and exhausted after the overwhelming feeling of panic, guilt and fear that inundated him earlier. Slumped pathetically in his seat, he did not even care to start a conversation with his good friend, Logan, as his mind began to flood with uneasy thoughts instead. He was surprised that Logan was even so forgiving of him. Isaac would have imagined that his sudden departure would have hurt Logan the most. Ugh, he hurt Logan more than likely, and that realisation was enough to break Isaac's soul all over again. He hurt everyone so much. He's probably good for nothing. All he does is hurt people. Maybe this was what he deserved: A life of constant disappointment.

Isaac's conscience was always quick to dwell on the harsh irrational negatives. Isaac was the greatest pessimist you'd ever meet. What a pleasant guy he was...

And then, Logan spoke up.

Feeling the new weight of Logan pressing his shoulder against his own, Isaac's coy eyes flitted up to look at Logan's beautiful face. Watch a movie with him? How kind. Isaac's jaw hung open slightly, gazing over at his brunet friend for a moment before his eyes turned to his own TV screen, nodding his head stupidly. "Uhh, yeah." The older male began sliding his middle finger across the screen, browsing through the wide array of film choices on the flight. And then, he continued meekly, "Disney sounds good. Could we watch Lady and the Tramp? I've never seen it before." He appreciated the devotion from Logan, especially since, less than a week ago, they hadn't spoken for years. Logan was always an amiable and forgiving man and Isaac couldn't ever be more grateful than he was now. Even after all this time, Logan cared about Isaac. Even after all this time, Isaac loved Logan a lot.







I'LL BE THERE AS SOON AS I CAN
BUT I'M BUSY MENDING BROKEN PIECES
OF THE LIFE I HAD BEFORE YOU .


- Samson Nathaniel Erwood -
a
Samson would probably gush if anyone even merely brought up the suggestion to speak about the tour. It was not a surprise that he was insanely excited to go on tour again. All the travelling, the hustle and bustle and the opportunity to meet tonnes of new people was right up Sam's alley. Being the naturally talkative and cheerful man he was, he loved nothing better than to schmooze with strangers. He appeared to be a very inviting character. Even strangers were his best friends; Sam liked to think that he could bring out the best of other people just by being kind. When it came to Corey, however, he definitely didn't expect to click so quickly with the younger male.

In fact, he didn't expect Corey to creep right into his heart the way he did. And, Sam didn't mind Corey becoming a permanent resident in that place.

And so, as he climbed onto the plane, lugging along his hand luggage, he was met with the glimmering gaze of Corey's and a cheery smile riddled Sam's own thin lips. As the other's eyebrow rose cheekily, Sam let out a gentle chuckle, rolling his eyes in return. "C'mon you; our seats are just over there I think." He pointed out with an amused expression on his face.

You wouldn't ever expect that the pair had only become friends around a week or so before. Though they had a lot to learn about each other still, their friendship appeared to flourish in a frenzied flurry of friendly talk and jokes, only within days from meeting each other for the first time. Sam had, in the past, been known to be quite touchy-feely in his close friendships but had never grown as intimate as quickly as he had with Corey. And, he was very okay with it all, too. Very okay. In fact, after that one day in the band's studio office with Corey, Sam found it difficult not to think about the other male as fondly as he did. It had been years since Samson had felt that young and free, liberated from the role of being a thirty six year old father of two and typical conflicted divorcee. If that wasn't enough to prove how fantastic Corey was for him, the fact that he got on so easily with the other man was enough to show that Sam was really glad that Corey was joining the tour with him.

As he noticed Corey struggle to place his case up in the overhead bin, Samson was quick to lean over from behind Corey, his tall height assisting him in helping him push the luggage into the bin. And then, after they both got into their seats, Samson's left knee was pressed uncomfortably against the back of the chair in front, his right leg kicked out along the side of the aisle. A bit more appropriate for a man of his height. Several moments passed and Sam briefly glanced over at Corey, noticing how nervous he appeared to be and how hard he was finding it to relax himself. But then, with the mention of his kids, Sam began to smile genuinely as he nodded his head very slightly. He was so proud of his children, any mention of them would make his heart jump very slightly with enthusiasm. He loved his kids so much and this was evident in the way he spoke about them with so much adoration for them. "Yeah..." Samson agreed, smiling to himself like an idiot as his eyes followed the action on his TV screen. "Ava thinks she's one of the grown ups; she just wants to be friends with everybody. Lincoln's getting there. He's not as shy as he used to be... I think he looks up to Ava as his inspiration."

Sam could go on and on about his kids if he wanted to. Though he had joint custody with Natalia, meaning that he couldn't see them every day, the time he spent with them was truly special. The ballet classes he'd sit and watch Ava dance in, those times he'd take his boy, Cole, to the park after school, how he would go watch endless kids films with the both of them in the cinema and actually laugh more at the cute jokes than the kids did... Sam held those small moments very close to his heart.

When Corey spoke up again, Samson began to laugh, somewhat sympathetically, at his nervous joke. "Yeah, the speed of the plane literally speeds up time. Corey! Didn't you know this?" Sam teased, a cheeky glint in his eyes. "Really, though, the more you think about it the longer this trip will feel. I promise you, it'll all be over soon enough." He assured him gently, arms resting casually on the arm rests. Sam was obviously a frequent flier, having travelled around the world with the band every year. Corey, however... he was nervous. That bit was obvious. He understood that Corey probably didn't have too much experience flying, but how many times had he ever been on a plane? "Is this your first time?... Flying, I mean?" He queried, tilting his head as he peered over at his fair-skinned friend curiously.


« Last Edit: July 29, 2017, 04:26:55 PM by harlem. »
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Offline elysian.

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Re: we мυѕт reιnvenт love !! [ p. ]
« Reply #2 on: July 28, 2017, 12:31:53 PM »
logan cain lawson
i wanna scream i love you from the top of my lungs
logan wanted to tell himself that this had been a terrible decision on his part. he wanted to take isaac by the hand and pull him out of the plane, tell him that it would be better for the two of them if he didn’t come. all that was waiting for isaac in europe during the tour was nothing but pain, emotional pain that could turn into scars if things pursued after they got back. why? what was the point of even keeping him here with him? it was sad to know the true answer to those. it was selfish. logan was simply keeping him here because he had missed him. the reminder was enough to put an uncomfortable twist in his stomach. those years without isaac had been painful for him. more painful than anything else he had ever felt. he could remember the late nights spent crying with spencer, sobbing into the other’s shoulder. crying out about how it wasn’t fair, none of it was fair. spencer, while he would cry from time to time as well, was probably more damaged about it than he would let on. who could blame him, though?

it had gotten a bit overwhelming around the pretty. odd era. it had gotten overwhelming for everyone involved. honestly, logan blamed himself for a bit of it. it had been nice, bearable while they made a fever you can’t sweat out. though, he knew isaac enjoyed being more than just the song-writer and the guitarist. he understood fully well that he was being held back because logan just wanted to sing, and be the lead singer most all of the time. it only got worse after pretty. odd. the few quarrels turned into larger disputes- and especially when logan wanted to write most of the songs, too. in a way, he put a lot of the stress on his shoulders when isaac had left. it had been his fault. it was all his fault. now he was simply making matters worse for everyone.

his gaze wandered towards isaac, peering at him just through the corner of his eyes. it hurt, to see his old friend the way he was. his figure was curled in on himself, like that would protect him from the torment of others. it hurt even more that it was so obvious that he didn’t want to talk. that was what he had been worried about the whole time. there was always that subconscious fear that isaac wouldn’t want anything to do with him after spencer and zack truly got angry at the two of them. the troubling, heart wrenching thought that isaac wouldn’t want to talk to him. who could blame him if he was angry at the singer? he’d lead him into a trap- and had refused to help him out of it when he’d had the chance.

at the same time, though, part of him expected that isaac wouldn’t be angry with him. he’d rarely ever gotten angry with him in the past, even when he truly, truly deserved a harsh onslaught of comments from the other. the other brunet always decided that he was to blame. it was always him that was the cause of everything. not once did he understand how the old guitarist could think that was. nothing that had happened with the band had been entirely his fault. he just, he wished that the other could see it all through logan’s eyes. breathing a short sigh, he forced himself to feel a bit brighter in the gloomy situation. it wasn’t for himself; it was for isaac. the smaller obviously wasn’t feeling too happy about the whole situation, and was only spiraling even more into a slump.

whenever these slumps would happen during tours with him in the past, logan always was the bright one that helped him get through. he just hoped that some things never changed, this one included.

as the other began to nod his head and search through movies, he forced a smile to his lips - although it had yet to reach the eyes - and chuckled lightly. yet, once the small, meek admittance came, that forced smile was replaced with a look of playful disbelief. “never se- isaac. i can’t believe you’ve never seen-- we have to watch it now,” he insisted, rambling a bit just to kind of add to the act, to cheer the other up. that was always his goal when he was with the ex-guitarist; make sure he was happy, make sure nothing was getting to him. perhaps he was being a bit biased towards the idea of watching disney movies because, well, it was disney, and it was logan. what else could you expect? the brunet watched them all the time, singing along like the child he was. he figured it might possibly bring the same cheer to isaac, if given the chance. loge was at least all for trying. there was nothing worse to him than seeing isaac so down on himself. he loved him. after all these years, he still loved that soft-spoken, timid friend of his.

thes code


corey bleu
like stars in the sky, and leaves on the trees
corey was incredibly happy that he had decided to go through with applying for the job. when filling out the form, he’d been almost completely certain that he wouldn’t get hired. surely there were tons of other people that had filled it out and had so many qualifications that corey could only dream of having. he had almost completely forgotten he’d even applied in the first place. the shorter was anxious enough. the last thing that he had wanted was to get heartbroken by not receiving a phone call. but when he had gotten that call, he could remember just how excited he had been. how, after he’d hung up, he’d completely gushed and squealed and was so excited just to be around the band. even if he didn’t end up talking to them, he would’ve been grateful nonetheless.

the last thing he had expected was to become so close to samson. when he was wandering around the arena, completely lost, his nerves were absolutely frayed by the time sam had came over. corey had been shaking, so nervous of the thought that he really, really didn’t want to mess things up with sam. it appeared that, in the end, he had nothing to truly worry about. the pair got along splendidly well.

it was crazy, truly insane, how quickly the two of them had appeared to click almost right off the bat. sure, when it came down to it, they didn’t know much about each other personally yet. it could easily be said, though, that they were already incredibly close for people that had only been talking for a week or so. anyone that knew corey knew that he wasn’t the kind of person to get so attached. it was rare for the dark-haired male to talk to someone enough for them to become friends. he was too closed up for someone to truly want to stick around, too. yet, with sam, he had become attached almost instantly. he thought the world of the other already. it was next to impossible to recall the last time he had ever felt so comfortable around someone before. anxiety always got the best of him, and in the end he ended up pushing them away. there had never been someone that managed to encourage him to be his true self, what was past the nerves and the timid nature. that kind of person he found in sam, and he wasn’t going to let the chance to become even closer slip away.

although distracting himself from his nerves hadn’t been the intention of mentioning samson’s kids, it was actually doing quite the trick. his light, light blue gaze turned towards the other, a smile managing to come to his lips as he watched him talk with such adoration. “you love them so much,” he noted, his gaze softening at that adorable smile that he wore. it was like he was pointing out the obvious, though. the bassist appeared so proud of his kids. it was.. it was adorable, to say the least about it. “can i just. steal them from time to time? i am their uncle corey, after all.” that had definitely been one way to melt his heart in a matter of seconds. corey was very much a kid person. they were such gems, and it was hard to be anxious around kids like ava and lincoln too. i mean, majorly because he could relate to lincoln so much. he’d been the shyest as a kid, and. well, getting a fellow shy person to talk was a fairly big accomplishment in his eyes. “plus, pretty sure you’re taking me out for ice cream when we get back? did i hear them correctly?” now he was just messing with the other. it was what they did, after all. plus, it was doing wonders on his nerves. sure, he still felt a little tightness in his chest, and his heart was beating a mile a minute. but he was calmer. just needed to focus on not forgetting how to breathe.

as samson started to laugh, he turned his gaze back towards him, his gaze brightening up just the slightest bit. “oh, oh yeah of course i did. i was just testing you, to see if you knew was all,” he joked along, a laugh escaping his lips. at least he could depend on sam to deal with him through this flight. he doubted he’d be able to stay awake for the full time to talk to him - corey was always one to take a nap when he could - but. he thought it wouldn’t be so bad of a thing. what could possibly go wrong with the plane?

oh god why did he think that?

the assurance was enough to him to glance away, catching his lower lip between his teeth. “thank you,” he responded softly, moving to gently bump his elbow against the other’s arm. perhaps it was easy for sam to forget what an anxious guy corey was. especially since the timid nature of his had managed to fade away in a matter of moments while around him. when he asked if it was the first time he’d ever flown, he hummed. “i mean.. i went on a flight years ago,” he replied, squinting briefly in thought and shrugging. “ten or so years ago, maybe? i’m getting old.” he added the last part just to show a little light to the answer. “it wasn’t my favorite thing to do, by all means.” he glanced outside the window for a moment before turning his gaze back towards the other. “but, hey, between staying at home or going on a tour with panic at the disco? i’d rather go on the tour. gotta bother you, you know?”


thes code
« Last Edit: July 28, 2017, 03:04:19 PM by ᵐᵉˡᵃⁿᶜʰᵒˡʸ »

Offline truce.

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Re: we мυѕт reιnvenт love !! [ p. ]
« Reply #3 on: July 29, 2017, 05:50:18 PM »

THERE I JUST SAID IT,
I'M SCARED YOU'LL
FORGET ABOUT ME .

- Isaac James Ashford -
a
He wanted so badly to be in Loganís home, curled up comfortingly against his silken touch where he could gaze at him for a single moment and remember every little thing he had loved about him all over again. That one moment which felt like it had only lasted for minutes had lasted for hours. But now, in the present, minutes felt like years. Isaacís heart pounded against his chest relentlessly, his feeble body almost curled in on himself as if he wanted to simply disappear. His body leaned against the side of the plane, his glassy eyes staring distantly out of the window and, if he was honest, he was already having second thoughts about this damn tour. This was not about Logan ó no, Logan had done nothing wrong in Isaacís mind ó but this was about himself. Isaac Ashford, the man who could lose everyone he truly cared for in a heartbeat. And, no, this was no magic trick; this was simply an act of a fool who was too caught up in his inflated ego to really appreciate the treasures in his life. There mustíve been some sort of lost and found out there, signed specifically for him, with all the people heíd lost in his lifetime. But now, heíd marched his way back into that lost and found in his attempt to reunite him with the treasures he had lost. All of those who had once genuinely cared about him were there, waiting. In more cases than not, that was to no avail.

But, Isaac managed to reconcile the adoring friendship he had between Logan which, to Isaac, was seriously a miracle of some sort. Out of everybody who was affected, Isaac felt that in some ways Logan would have taken the hit of Isaacís sudden departure the hardest. Spencer too, but that man was good at dealing with his feelings. Well, thatís what Isaac thought anyway. He was wrong. Isaac wanted to feel like the victim here, attacked viciously by Spencerís harsh and hostile words, but everyone knew that in a way it was what Isaac deserved. He should never have even left, especially so suddenly and making zero effort to keep in touch with anyone else but Jon for several more months before they both went their separate ways, too. Isaac dug himself into the ground so quickly, utterly convinced that he was invincible. Again, he was wrong.

Instead, what was left was Isaac leading a life of a house hermit; staying at home most days, having not shaved, showered, changed clothes or even fall asleep in his bed and not slumped over on the sofa, it was no wonder Isaac began to feel blue quite quickly. Overwhelmed by guilt, he knew he couldnít continue writing sombre songs, releasing them to what was left of his fan base every once and a while for them to figure out the encrypted messages within his melancholy lyrics, to make a living for himself. He needed a change. He needed to fix his mistake. After all the dispute around the time of his departure, Isaac simply could not get across how he wanted more than the band was giving him. As small arguments turned into full-scale yelling matches, Isaac could remember times that he was so mean to Logan. Isaac had acted like such a diva, and Logan did not deserve what Isaac had given him. And so, was going on this tour worth it? Totally. Despite feeling afraid of Spencer and Zackís unwelcoming glares and snarky comments, Isaac knew that ultimately, he was doing this to try fix things. Even if it meant that heíd feel like the black sheep for the entire trip by everybody but Logan, heíd still stay for this tour. Heíd do anything for Logan. Logan was worth it.

And so, when Logan began to try to speak to him, Isaac made the effort not to dismiss his friend, not give Logan the short-worded answer, ďNo, thanksĒĚ when he offered to watch a movie with him. Instead, he made a conscious effort to try creep out of that hard shell he had hidden within ever since he returned from crying in the public bathrooms earlier. As Logan joked playfully with Isaac, the timorous male fluttered his gaze over at his friend, his lip on one side tugging into a tiny yet amused smile. Logan was very young at heart, enthusiastic and cheerful over just about everything. And, Disney was no exception. In fact, his passion for all the small things in life always made Isaac smile. The thought of Logan, in general, made Isaac smile. And so, without any words, Isaac turned back to his screen, tapping on the play button to begin to film. He fumbled quite pathetically to untangle his headphones but, afterwards, he gave one earphone to Logan whilst he placed the other in his own ear. ĒĚThank you.ĒĚ He then uttered very quietly, almost not even loud enough for Logan to hear. He was grateful that Logan was making such an effort to comfort Isaac in a time of need. Isaac needed Logan right now.

He also needed some sleep, but he felt that he was doing well at fighting to urge to flutter his eyes shut to rest. Well, he thought so anyway. And so, as the film began, he sat back in his seat, leaning slightly towards Logan with his arms hugging his own torso gently, eyelids heavy and gaze fixed at the TV screen blankly. Nah, he wasn't tired. Okay, maybe just a little, but he had to watch this film now.







I'LL BE THERE AS SOON AS I CAN
BUT I'M BUSY MENDING BROKEN PIECES
OF THE LIFE I HAD BEFORE YOU .


- Samson Nathaniel Erwood -
a
Samson wanted to know how and why, to him, Corey felt as special to him as he was. It was no attack towards Corey ó not at all, he was very pleased with the outcome of their meeting ó but Sam couldnít get over that wonderfully perplexed feeling tugging at his heart whenever his eyes met the baby blue orbs of Coreyís. The story of their sudden fondness was a mystery, even to Samson, and was a mystery that he was determined to solve. After all, the last time he ever felt this sudden desire to really impress somebodyÖ It was all for Natalia. And so, why had he felt so strongly towards Corey? He really didnít know. In ways, Sam felt quite scared, all because he simply could not understand himself. He lived in this skeleton every day, all day for thirty-six years, almost four decades he could study the ways of his complex mind, and yet he still could not uncover the meaning of these butterflies dancing in his belly, the automatic smile on his lips whenever he saw his assistant and the persistent inclination towards wanting to know Corey better.

Whenever, he spoke to the other, Samson really felt the most liberated he had for years. As much as he adored his family life and his position as the bandís Ďdadí, something within him just wanted to break away from the restricting role of always having to take on a paternal role for everyone. Sometimes he just wanted to feel young at heart again. With Corey, Sam could feel like he was free with no responsibilities. Corey seemed to be quite reserved when they first met, however Samson thought that perhaps that was because he was nervous. Regardless of that, though, within minutes of talking Sam could say that it felt like two friends catching up after not seeing each other for years. There was something about this friendship which excited Samson; he didnít understand it just yet, but he knew that someday he would.

When the pair began to speak about his kids, Samís paternal instincts returned instantly. If there were two people he loved the most in the world, itíd be his two children, Ava and Lincoln. And so, as the two of them began to speak about the children, Samson was quick to begin speaking about them passionately, devotion gleaming in his eyes. He began to smile, lowering his gaze to his lap when Corey pointed out Samís love for his children. He wasnít even close to being wrong; Sam was alive for his kids. He would do anything just to see them grow up successfully, to see them be happy. When Corey continued to speak fondly of them, Sam began to laugh a hushed chuckle, his eyes flitting back to look at his assistant. ĒĚOh yeah, of course.ĒĚ He started, ĒĚIíd pay you to babysit them for me. They couldnít get enough of you.ĒĚ It wasnít only the kids who couldnít get enough of Corey, Samson then thought fleetingly.  ĒĚWhat flavour was it again? Cotton candy? There will definitely be many trips to the ice cream shop including you now; I take the kids every week.ĒĚ He informed playfully, his smile dancing on his lips. If Corey was happy with it, Sam would be content with allowing Corey to tag along on trips. After all, the kids really took a shine to Corey. It must be Corey; it seemed like all the Erwood family adored him.

The conversation grew more serious as the topic of the flight was brought up. Corey was nervous, Sam could tell; it was evident in his expression. Sam was there for Corey, though, to help him through the flight. It was a tedious journey, the time tallying up to over ten hours on board the flight in their travels all the way to Milan in Italy to begin their European tour. It was a long trip, especially for an infrequent flyer like Corey. As for Sam, he became desensitised to the long journeys after the first couple trips. To him, this was as easy as pie. For Corey though, maybe not so much.

"I mean, it's always nice having you around so it would've been quite sad if you stayed at home, actually." Sam commented, huffing out an amused breath at Corey's light-hearted comments. For somebody who was as nervous as Corey was, he was surely amazing at trying to control his fear. To Sam, that was borderline inspiring. "Hey, I'm glad you chose to tag along. Who could I ramble to otherwise? I need you!" He then continued playfully. Anything to get Corey to settle down a little more and, besides, Sam was not telling a lie. Sometimes a tour can get so boring around people who don't always understand him. Corey, however, appeared to just get him. "Seriously, though, once we're in the air it won't even feel like we're flying. These trips are always nice." A pause. And then. "Besides, this is probably going to be our longest journey by plane, if that's any help."



« Last Edit: July 17, 2018, 02:23:41 PM by Hootowls »
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Offline elysian.

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Re: we мυѕт reιnvenт love !! [ p. ]
« Reply #4 on: July 30, 2017, 08:45:50 AM »
logan cain lawson
i wanna scream i love you from the top of my lungs
it felt like it had only been yesterday that isaac had called him. logan could remember it as clear as day; feeling his heart racing in his chest, feeling the nerves of having his old friend come over. yet, those hours had become something amazing. those hours had become something that he would cherish for the longest of times. it had beenĒ¶ it had been absolutely perfect, to get to talk with him again, sing with him, and hug him whenever things tended to get a bit emotional. perhaps it had been during those moments where he had imagined that delusion of everyone accepting isaac back. he could remember assuring isaac that everyone would be so happy to see him back. the fan base still obsessed over him and would adore having him back. yet, loge knew that had been mostly him trying to convince himself that this what they needed. logan wanted to have isaac back with him because, god, he had missed him so much. whenever other people would ask him if he was over the guitarist leaving, heíd lie and say that he was fine. yet he was so far from feeling okay. it was hard to forget all of the memories the pair had shared. when it had come to touring, isaac had been the one that the singer would cling to. isaac had been the one that he would beg to be with whenever they made it to the hotel. heíd cared about him, and heíd cared about him with his whole heart. isaac, at the time, had been his whole world.

so when isaac had decided it was best for him if he left the band, it had felt like loganís entire world had ended. he had tried to keep a brave face, yet he would burst into tears almost any time someone mentioned isaac. it hurt too much to think about the other manís departure from the band. it had hurt to think that isaac, the person that he had considered to be his best friend, was suddenly out of his life. spencer would give him comfort whenever he needed it, and would try and convince him that the pair were so close that theyíd still manage to keep in touch somehow. though, they hadnít talked at all. they hadnít tried to keep in touch. and, honestly, logan blamed himself a bit on that part. heíd always be too nervous to message the other, too scared that spencer was lying, and isaac wouldnít answer his messages. so then he had never even bothered to try.

and did he wish he had.

instead, he just used all of his emotions to go straight into writing songs. while most would probably force themselves to stay right out of the light, loge needed to find a way to vent all of his emotions. music had always been the solution to all of his problems, and spencer had definitely been more than willing to help him with whatever he needed. whether that be pushing him to head into the studio or writing a song to describe how he felt, or whether that meant taking him away from the studio when things were weighing down too much, spencer was there for him. it sucked, though. it wasnít like all of the times in the studio with isaac, spent making songs. yet, he had to admit that the two of them had started butting heads a bit. sure, it would frustrate isaac and heíd grow defensive, but of course, logan would get hurt and immediately start yelling right back at the other. he didnít like to think about those times, though. it was so much easier to remember them touring along, feeling so happy, getting to spend so much time with one another in a different country. ah, those had been a good time. yet, while he had previously felt so excited for it, part of him felt absolutely horrible. he had forced isaac into coming to a tour that he very much wasnít welcome in, all because he selfishly had wanted to spend so much time with him. but, to logan, he was still excited. he was excited to get to be on a tour with isaac again, even if it wasnít in the same sense as the older days.

the thought of watching a movie had honestly been the only option logan could think of. he had definitely wanted to cheer up his best friend, but there was only so much that he could do while they were stuck on a plane. he definitely wouldnít have minded having a full fledged conversation with the other. however, logan knew isaac. he knew that he wouldnít want to talk to keep his mind off of things, especially when it was after crying just moments ago. sure, loge usually talked to try and get his mind off of things, but he knew that isaac didnít think about it as highly as he did. with a sigh, he put the earphone in his ear, propping his elbow on the arm rest and then his chest on his hand. he had almost completely missed isaacís quiet thanks, but he was so thankful that he hadnít missed it. the softest of smiles came to his lips, then, and he gently leaned against the other for just a moment, a silent way of comfort for the other. he was wishing that there was so much more that he could do. watching a disney movie seemed like that was all that he could do for now, but he wished that it was enough to make the other happy. or at least take his mind off of things.

his gaze, although it had been fixed on the movie for a bit, had ended up wandering towards isaac. the sight couldnít help but make him smile softly to himself, distracted by just how adorable the sight was. even while the plane was taking flight, he couldnít do anything except keep his eyes on the other more than on the film. part of him even wanted to tell the other to go to bed, instead of stubbornly watch the movie. he turned his gaze away to keep his gaze on the film, so that the other wouldnít think too much of it. still, it left a pleasant twist in his heart.


thes code


corey bleu
like stars in the sky, and leaves on the trees
it wasnít very often in coreyís life that someone came around that he thought so fondly of. perhaps it would bother most to be nearing their thirties, and still not quite have someone that he was willing to hang out with at all times. sure, he had people that he would call ďėfriendsí, but they never really hung out. because corey didnít want to, most of the time. but, corey didnít mind it. he wasnít usually the type to avidly seek out attention from others. he was fine with being in his own company whenever he came home; just curl up on the couch with his cat, watch tv, and be thoroughly content with life. yet, ever since that week or so, it was the first time in years that he actually wanted to see someone. heíd wanted to see samson. none of it really made sense to him, this sudden change of thought, but he also still loved it just the same. he liked to consider samson someone that he wouldnít mind talking to for hours on end. he liked to consider samson as someone that was his friend. though, he didnít think that friends made him feel this way. he didnít think friends put these butterflies in his stomach, the way his heart would just race away in his chest.

perhaps when they had first met, he couldíve blamed this feeling on the nerves. yet, as they continued talking, those feelings only persisted, growing into a fondness for the other that he couldnít possibly explain. they had hit it off so well, so amazingly, and corey honestly was so glad that they had. corey had been so shy and reserved, almost scared that samson thought that zack had made a mistake for choosing this guy as his assistant. however, somehow, samson had coaxed him out of that shell of his. it didnít seem like corey was the only one that had been liberated from his own chains, in a sense. sam had seemed to be acting more childish than corey had ever seen him during interviews, or during performances. heíd appeared to be so happy, that he didnít have to act like the ďėdadí of the group at least while he was around the other. it made him so happy, that he could bring those feelings out of the other.

however, while it was nice seeing the other feel so liberated from having to be the ďĎdadí of the groupĒ it was insanely adorable to see his paternal instincts over his kids. sure, corey had only known the kids for the short while theyíd spent at the airport, but they were insanely loveable. even more loveable, was the way that samson began to speak so happily about his kids. there was this smile on his face as he talked so passionately about them. the gleam in his eyes enough to make corey begin to smile, himself. it was evident that all that the other wanted was to make his kids happy in life, make sure they were happy at all times. to corey, nothing quite beat that when it came from a fatherís perspective. perhaps that was why he, himself, spoke so fondly of ava and lincoln, as well. Ēoh, you donít even have to pay me. theyíre too cute. i couldnít get enough of them, either.Ē and, thank god sam was on this plane with him, because that meant he could still keep trying to get as much from the other as he could. Ēyou take your kids out for ice cream every week?Ē he repeated in awe, leaning back in his seat with a smile, saying in a playful announcer voice - quiet so not just anyone could overheard his dorkiness - Ēand greatest dad award goes toÖĒ he smiled softly, again, before adding, ĒIíd love to join you guys, sometime.Ē

though, as the conversation grew more serious, corey was just reminded of his fears that had been temporarily subdued by the chatter of samsonís children. it was nice to know that sam was there, though, to be with him. it was ten hours, and corey was sure heíd be so anxious the whole time that heíd get next to no sleep along the way. no, he was convinced, that he wouldnít get any sleep. samson probably wasnít even fazed by this flight, seeing as panic flew around quite often for touring and things of the like. it was still nice to know, though, that the bassist would be there to offer comfort for him, even while he was quite desensitized to it, himself.

as sam commented about how it was nice having him around, corey couldnít help but smile. Ēthank you,Ē he responded softly, with a small smile. sure, he wasnít exactly the best at hiding his fear. yet, he liked to think that he was fairly good at keeping them at bay most of the time. perhaps it was from all of the years that heíd had to deal with it, perhaps. Ēright. thatís what iím here for; to listen to the endless rambling of samson erwoodís.Ē still, no matter the teasing tone in both of their tones, he couldnít help but feel the light flutter in his chest at the otherís light ďėi need youí. glancing out the window as the other talked about the flight, he tensed lightly as the plane began moving away from the terminal. Ēit wonít feel like weíre flying?Ē he hummed quietly, slightly nervously, as he then reached a shaky hand to quickly slide the window cover down. Ēa-at least thatís a plus.Ē if this was the longest journey, he was sure he could stomach it.

the moment the plane started speeding up, getting ready to takeoff from the runway, coreyís composure briefly broke. it was a small moment of panic. and, in that brief moment of panic, he ended up reaching his hand out, fumbling just slightly, to take samsonís hand in his own. it seemed almost as if he was unaware that heíd even done it, his eyes closed, breathing deeply to try and stay calm. it felt like his heart was in his throat as the plane took off, and the feeling was still kind of there even as the plane stopped ascending. opening his eyes, he glanced to the closed window before his gaze landed on his hand, his fingers entangled with samsonís own. heat instantly dusted across his pale cheeks and-- and he didnít know why he didnít want to let go. Ēiím sorry,Ē he quickly apologized and, although it was just making him all the more embarrassed- he couldnít let go. his clammy, trembling hand just.. didnít want to.

thes code
« Last Edit: July 17, 2018, 02:29:11 PM by Hootowls »

Offline truce.

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Re: we мυѕт reιnvenт love !! [ p. ]
« Reply #5 on: July 30, 2017, 01:34:12 PM »

THERE I JUST SAID IT,
I'M SCARED YOU'LL
FORGET ABOUT ME .

- Isaac James Ashford -
a
Over the past few years, things had changed drastically for both Isaac and Logan. Back when he was the guitarist for the band, things were admittedly quite hectic and manic, but it had also been some of the most blissful days of his life. They were the days where Logan was his and he was Loganís. Though never official, there were many moments where Isaac and Logan should have become official by the way they treated each other with such love and passion. Those few years ago, everybody loved Isaac Ashford; band members, touring staff, fans, everyone did. But now, Isaac felt like he was the most hated man in the bandís history. He probably was. What a surprise.

He could recall his awkward behaviour around Logan a lot of the time when they were in public. If any questions popped up about the two of them, Isaac was quick to butt in and deny any rumours before Logan could speak up and possibly give anything away. All the times where Logan would approach him during a show, kiss him on the cheek, breathe his hot breath against his lips, brush his fingertips across Isaacís cheek lovingly and Isaac would simply recoil every time as if he had just been touched by a fire hot touchĒ¶ Isaac shouldnít have taken that for granted. He often regretted not returning the affection which Logan would give him in abundance; it made him feel loved for once.

It seemed like in the present, their love was like the sun and the moon. They were not supposed to ever be together in the same sky. In fact, the love they had for each other had always been this way. The few romantic moments they had shared in the past were only brief eclipses in time. But maybe, hopefully, another eclipse was due. Even better, maybe one day their openness to love would be permanent. Isaac just wanted to feel Loganís gentle touch again. He just wanted him so badly. In the meantime, as long as Isaac was in the stressful position he was now, it was bound to never happen. You canít love somebody you are not allowed to love. As long as Isaac was seen as the monster who broke the famous Logan Lawsonís heart, their love was never meant to happen.

It wouldnít stop Isaac from trying, though.

Maybe with a few bumps in the roadĒ¶ Maybe a lot, actually. But, Isaac wanted to fix things between his friend for good. The love he had for Logan was unconditional; even if he left the tour empty handed, leaving Logan once again to live his life without Isaac Ashford in it, maybe he would mind less if they left this time on good terms. Isaac was a chaotic good man. He wanted Logan, he wanted his friend to feel loved by him, but Isaac knew that, realistically, that would be a challenge for the both of them. He wanted him so badly, but he didnít want anyone else to find out. How was that even possible? No, it wasnít. He was the moon and Logan was the fucking sun; they were just not meant to be together, you know?

His heart sank, and yet he still continued to focus on Logan as if nothing was wrong. But, inside, Isaac wanted to scream, he wanted to yell and curse at the world for allowing the circumstances to always have the upper hand. He just wanted Logan to himself, and he could never have him. Isaac could cry at the thought ďď heíd done so before ďď but on the outside he remained composed, stoic as he sat back in his seat, lips tight as they were pressed together, as he began to watch the film. He was glad that Logan did not continue to speak to him. Logan was a talkative, vibrant person whilst Isaac, on the other hand, was an old, soft-spoken soul. He preferred keeping things very much to himself and, if he was to continue to talk, he had a feeling he would just break down all over again. So, he let out a stuttering breath, his lithe frame resting ever-so-slightly against Loganís own body, partly to ensure neither of them would lose an earphone from sitting too far apart and partly just to feel his friendís comforting warmth.

He was a stubborn man, convinced that he would be able to make it through this film; after all, this was actually quite a relaxing moment he was getting to share with Logan. Just Isaac and Logan, peaceful together as they stared at the beautifully romantic Disney film, Zack glaring daggers over at their subtle affection, the light touch of Loganís shoulder against IsaacísĒ¶ It was almost perfect. Too perfect, it seemed. Isaac almost didnít notice the plane taking off, mainly because his eyes had been blinking open and closed tiredly, exhausted from the lack of sleep the night before, the early morning wake up as well as the mental exhaustion of the stress he had to endure earlier. He was sensitive, any stress heíd receive would tire him out almost instantly. And, he thought he had enough stress for today.

His head drooped downwards very slightly as, barely half an hour into the film, he was already drifting off purely due to his exhaustion. And then, moments after, he was out entirely. It hadnít taken long for his weight to slump over to the side, his head resting softly against Loganís shoulder, lips parted very slightly and hair dishevelled and messy. Unconscious and in a state where he could dream peacefully, with his body close to Loganís, this was probably the greatest feeling of peace he had felt in all of today. It was sad because he was happiest was when he was not awake but, in this moment of peace, Isaac couldnít have been more grateful to share the moment with Logan.







I'LL BE THERE AS SOON AS I CAN
BUT I'M BUSY MENDING BROKEN PIECES
OF THE LIFE I HAD BEFORE YOU .


- Samson Nathaniel Erwood -
a
How was it that Corey seemed so familiar to Sam? Why had it felt less like he was getting to know him and more like getting to remember him? Sam didnít know, but he definitely felt a strong inclination towards wanting to get closer to Corey. There was just something about the younger male which caught Samsonís attention. Whatever it was that he was attracted to specifically, Sam didnít really know what it was, he assumed that it was definitely something out of the ordinary, something striking enough to cause him to crave the attention of Corey more. Was it his gorgeous smile? His perfectly shaped nose? The way he would act all coy and shy but come up with the greatest conversation starters?... Sam wasnít too sure but, whatever it was, Samson loved it.

Sam found it too easy to make friends. He was a naturally amiable sweetheart, his only fatal flaw being that he could be perceived as being too nice. When it came to befriending people, it was a simple job for him. However, Corey appeared to be like no other. Not everyone in Samsonís friendship circle was greeted by Samís heart racing and not just butterflies but an entire zoo in his stomach. Not all of his friendships caused Sam to miss the person, even after being apart for twenty minutes, and not all of his friendships made Sam want to talk non-stop for hours with that special somebody. Corey, however, was different. He felt like heíd already known Corey for years before. Almost like old friends reuniting again.

Corey just made him feelÖDifferent. Of course, in the best of ways. To Sam, Coreyís youthful attitude to life was enough to bring Sam back from the clutches of adulthood. He just wanted to feel young again. Having kids aged him a lot mentally. Despite that, however, he always had time to act like a typical proud dad, speaking so highly of his kids to Corey. His baby girl, Ava, was so exuberant, so bossy yet so confident. Just like her mother. Lincoln, on the other hand, was so humble and gentle. Heíd want nothing more than to be held by Sam and cuddle up in his fatherís arms.

The thought alone was almost enough to make Sam smile, but internally he was buzzing with joy simply thinking about his children. As Corey announced that Sam was the greatest dad, Sam rested his chin on the palm on his hand, a grin tugging at his lips proudly at the prospect of being a good father. ĒThey both think of it as our Ďspecial day outí. Because of my job, they stay at Natís for most of the week, but get excited every time they know itís that day of the week that I am going to pick them up from school to take them for ice cream.Ē He explained, his smile weakening very slightly. In ways, Sam felt quite sombre at the idea that he couldnít be around his kids every day, that he had to juggle them with Natalia. However, the time he did spend with him meant the entire world to him and it was evident in the way he gushed about them.

When the conversation began to drift to more serious matters, Sam knew that ultimately, he should take care of Corey now. The younger male was afraid, and Sam wanted to be the one to be there and ease his mind of any worries. After all, this flying was a norm in Samsonís life. Not so much in Coreyís; heíd be happy to offer some comfort. And, the comfort he gave seemed to be working.

But then, the plane began to take off.

Within moments of the plane speeding down the runway, Corey grabbed onto Samsonís hand mindlessly, his strong grip suggesting that he had lost his composure he once had before. Samson looked over at him with concerned eyes, too caring about Corey to pull his hand away. In fact, his heart skipped a beat, it felt, the moment their hands touched. He kind of liked it. And so, Sam held onto his hand lightly, the pad of his thumb comfortingly brushing along the back of Coreyís hand. Sam didnít know what to say to aid in this comforting, but he didnít think that any words could help Corey anyway right now. And so, instead, he sat in silence, peering out the window as the plane left the ground. Only after the plane began to steady did Corey seem to react to him holding onto Samís hand, rushing out an apology. Sam smiled sympathetically at Corey, shaking his head before replying, ĒDonít worry about it; youíre nervous. I can understand why. Ten years or so since flying? Thatís tough.Ē Any sort of reasoning to justify all of this could do. But nothing but one thing could justify how the two continued holding hands even after take-off. A justification that Sam wasnít sure he was ready to consider just yet, mainly because he didnít ever expect to feel that way towards another man in his lifetime. The feeling was so new, so raw, but so exciting.



« Last Edit: July 17, 2018, 02:32:30 PM by Hootowls »
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Offline elysian.

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Re: we мυѕт reιnvenт love !! [ p. ]
« Reply #6 on: July 30, 2017, 07:41:55 PM »
logan cain lawson
i wanna scream i love you from the top of my lungs
it had been pretty jarring, to be just the average las vegas teen one day, and then to suddenly become a fairly popular band the next. those days of touring from place to place had been so new, and rather scary. sure, logan was very extroverted and energetic, but sometimes the world could be a bit scary to a teenager. whenever he was scared, he would go to isaac for comfort. perhaps he had fed a bit too much on those moments where he would crawl into the otherís bed while on tour, horribly homesick and just needing the otherís comfort. perhaps he had read into it more than isaac had expected, because logan had started falling, and heíd fell pretty hard.

the poor singer had fallen in love and, for a while, he was convinced that isaac felt the same way.

while at first he had seen blinded by his new-found love, he hadnít been. it hurt, every time, to see the way that isaac would squirm away from his touch, like the thought of being with him was revolting. it left a sour taste in his mouth during shows, where he would give him fleeting kisses, or have his face just a bit too close to isaacís. silently begging love me, love me and only getting met with an uncomfortable stare or the other recoiling. and.. it broke his heart, when isaac would quickly shoot down any rumors about them possibly becoming a thing. saying that they would never be a thing. he could remember watching isaac closely every time, hoping that, one day, the answer would be different. but it never changed. the more affection he gave, the farther away from isaac he felt.

theyíd missed the opportunity to be together when theyíd had the chance. it was too late for them to be together, now. they were from two completely different worlds, like light and darkness, night and day. they simply werenít meant to be. yet, somehow, some way, logan still loved him. the singer was desperately, hopelessly in love with the man sitting right beside him. the man that was leaning gently against his shoulder, his warmth coming off of him and coursing straight into loganís heart. but logan knew. he knew. acting on these emotions could only bring harsh, terrible things into their lives. it would bring disapproval, it would bring sadness and grief. logan was ready to pour his heart out for him, tell him that he loved him. that it wasnít too late, that they could still be something.

sometimes, though, things just arenít meant to happen. no matter how badly you want it to.

that didnít mean that he had given up all hope. perhaps there was still something between them that he wasnít seeing. isaac couldnít have come here simply because he wanted to be on the crew, right? he didnít lean against logan like this simply because he wanted to mess with his feelings, right? there had to be something there. the singer wanted to delve more into it, wanted to see how far he could run with this belief that they were in love. his eyes became saddened, then, lucky that the other was more focused on the movie, tired and stubbornly managing to stay awake. he wanted isaac. he wanted him more than anything. he was tired of playing this cat and mouse game, though, where he ended up feeling more let-on than anything.

he was stressed. his whole body ached with the fear of what was to come, burned with a desire that he knew may never turn into reality. the brunet had never been the best when it came to stress and other situations of similar sorts. he swallowed hard, hoping that would swallow his emotions down, too. whenever he was stressed, he usually went to isaac. there was never any need to tell the other that he was stressed. it seemed like the lyricist always seemed to know, without any other sign than simply looking at logan. heíd missed that friendship, where he could come to him and seek solace from the outside world, which judged him based on everything that he did. isaac had never judged him, as far as he could tell, and he appreciated that. his brown gaze wandered slowly towards the other again, watching him for a brief moment. he was itching to talk, that energetic, childish side of him absolutely dying at the thought of staying still.

but he did. he did it for isaac, for the rewarding sight of seeing the other struggling to stay awake. it was enough to make him smile to himself, shaking his head in slight disbelief at just how adorable he was. which only brought back those feelings he hadnít felt in years, for anyone. the was his stomach twisted into knots, the way his heart felt so full, and filled to the absolute brim with warmth. it was hard to keep his eyes on the film when the brunet before him was so much more interesting to watch than the film heíd watched ever since he was a little kid. yet, he managed for a while. he forced himself to keep his eyes on the film, and watch the lovely lady as she went on her adventure around the neighborhood, showing off her new collar and license (because tyler has watched this film a billion times and knows). heíd completely eased into watching the show.

and then it had happened.

logan turned his gaze away from the small screen to look down. all he could do was stare. there had to be nothing more perfect than the sight before him. the way that the other was resting his head against his shoulder, his lips parted in just the right way to make loganís heart melt. god, he almost couldnít take it. he smiled affectionately, reaching his hand up to run his fingers fondly through the otherís messy, dishevelled hair-- something that he wouldnít have possibly had the courage to do, had isaac been awake. he leaned the side of his face against the otherís unruly locks, where he wasnít carding his fingers through, and continued to watch the movie. he could hear zack talking to the one next to him, more than likely about the pair. however, honestly‚Ķ logan couldnít find it in himself to care.
thes code


corey bleu
like stars in the sky, and leaves on the trees
it felt rather odd to think that they had been mere acquaintances, for a short while. or rather, it felt moreso like they had skipped that awkward stage and went straight towards being great friends. corey didnít think that it was just him that thought this way, either. it didnít feel like there was anything between the two. there was just.. something about the older man that had drawn corey in right from the start. sure, most would say it was because it was samson, the bassist from panic. if they knew the assistant, though, they would know that wouldíve made him even more nervous. it wouldnít have made him instantly hold so much affection for him, or the simply things he did. it gave him no excuse to grow so fond of the otherís laugh, of his voice, his humor that made him seem so much younger than he actually let on. all of those things just screamed samson, and corey absolutely loved it.

surely sam must have tons of people to call his friends. there was no way, in coreyís mind, that anyone could possibly dislike the man. everything about him simply made corey fall harder and harder for the sweetheart- and, yes, he meant falling. falling for samson erwood, the bassist for panic at the disco, an amazing artist, an amazing singer and songwriter and-- someone that was way too out of his league. it didnít matter how much the other made him feel so alive, how the butterflies in his stomach never seemed to cease when he was around the other. sam was too good, to amazing to have to settle with someone like the tattooed male. to most, it would probably hurt to come to that realization.

yet, corey was more than happy to simply be samsonís friend. it didnít hurt his heart when he didnít care to dwell on it too much and, well, he just wouldnít remind himself of it very often. why would he be upset to call the bassist a friend? the other was everything that corey wished he could be. he was amiable, kind to everyone, able to go and talk to strangers without any nerves. there was nothing wrong with the thought of having sam as a friend, especially when it felt all too obvious that the taller was way too good for him. whatever he had to do in order to not lose this amazing person as a friend, he would be able to put up with. they were friends, and he was so, so grateful for that.

the grin that tugged at samís lips upon being called the greatest dad was enough for corey to feel his heart swelling. it was amazing to see such a bright smile on the otherís lips, especially when it came to talking about his kids. of course, sam was appearing humble, but. cmon. he was the best father, ever. Ēitís so amazing that you do that for them,Ē corey hummed, watching the other closely before turning his light gaze away. Ēi wish you got to see them more‚ĶĒ it was a quiet admittance because, judging by the way that samís smile weakened slightly, it was a somewhat touchy subject. in an attempt to lighten up the otherís mood, he gently nudged the other with his elbow, smiling. Ēbut, hey, guess you canít go around being superdad all the time. please donít tell me you have a whole arsenal of dad jokes at your disposal.Ē

corey hadnít remembered much about the airplane ride, but he had completely remembered how much he had hated the takeoff. he had figured that he had mentally prepared himself for that moment. not just that, but heíd had the assistance of samson, to the point where he thought he was more than ready for this flight. after all, take-off was only about a couple of minutes, maximum. though, apparently, maybe he shouldíve been begging the nearest flight attendant to give him a drink or two to ease his nerves, instead of thinking he could tough it out.

when he found that amidst his moment of absolute internal panic, that he had grabbed samsonís hand in the process, he thought that he could die from embarrassment right in that moment. he could feel that he had noticeably paled, making the blush stand out even more on his face. quickly trying to swallow those emotions down, he released a deep, slow breath. yet, samís apology hadnít been anything heíd been expecting- although also something he figured the other would say all along. seriously. sam was too sweet and corey couldnít stand it. Ēitís nerve-wracking, to say the least..Ē he murmured in agreement, just running with that reasoning as to why they had held hands. however, that excuse didnít quite make much sense now, the black-haired male tried to ignore the fact. his light blue gaze wandered towards their hands, the way samsonís thumb brushed against the back of his hand, just barely brushing against the dove tattoo that he so adored. he forced himself to turn his gaze away and look out the window, because on his face was the biggest of smiles that he could ever remember wearing. there was so much going on right now; his heart racing away in his chest, his stomach feeling like it was alive and erupting with butterflies. of course, he wouldnít let sam know just how much of an effect holding the otherís hand had on him. instead, once he gained his composure back, he pretended to be preoccupied with his free hand searching the screen, opting for music instead of the choice of movies-- all the while, still bearing the faintest, smallest of smiles.

god, how had he managed to fall so hard?

thes code
« Last Edit: July 17, 2018, 02:34:13 PM by Hootowls »

Offline truce.

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Re: we мυѕт reιnvenт love !! [ p. ]
« Reply #7 on: July 31, 2017, 04:00:40 PM »

THERE I JUST SAID IT,
I'M SCARED YOU'LL
FORGET ABOUT ME .

- Isaac James Ashford -
a
Isaac broke into a sweat, partly because of the manual labour and partly because of how terrified he was. His heart threatened to burst forth from his ribcage, his clammy hands nervously fumbling about for the guitars. And still, he refused to give up. After all, this wasnít so much for him; this was about Logan. He promised to be there for the other male and so that was what he was going to do. He started by unloading the guitars off the tour bus and placing them all on a guitar rack to wheel backstage. He tried his very hardest to remain low-key and quiet, simply get on with the work he had to do. The last thing he would have wanted was to have Spencer or Zack or anyone else on the team that disapproved of his reappearance with the band to find fault in anything he did. After all, Isaac hadnít been involved in the music industry like this for a couple of years now and he honestly felt pretty rusty when it came to dealing with these instruments.

Isaac kept his head low, eyes fixed to the ground as he trudged alongside the guitar rack, dragging it along to just behind the stage. The support band were moments from jogging onto the stage, preparing to spark that energised fire within the audience. Isaac peered out onto the stage from where he stood, hidden in the shadows, and he looked out at the rows and rows of people until they got eaten by the darkness. The venue opened up like a vast open sea, and Isaac took a deep and shaky breath. Soon he would have to step out onto that stage in the black t-shirt with Panicís logo on the front of the shirt and, in white capital letters, ďSTAGE TECHĒ on the back. Isaac knew that people out there would recognise his face. He was Isaac Ashford, of course. He was the man who broke their idolís heart. He was scared to step out onto that stage, even for a few moments, with the fear that the vast ocean crowd would drown him. But still, he had to get on with his work; he had to remain professional here.

And so, Isaac began to string and tune the guitars in the rack, his hands shaking very slightly at the worry that he was doing something wrong. He couldn't help but feel a lump in his throat, perspiration dripping down the side of his face from the warmth of backstage, and he felt bare, defenceless and alone without Logan around. He could hear, not too far away, the angelic voice of his friend warming up for the show, muffled behind the noise of the support band's act. Isaac peered up, his gentle brown eyes watching the open door of the green room where, every once and a while, he could see Logan stood there, as beautiful as always, preparing himself for the show. This experience felt like dťjŗ vu;  it had an uncanny resemblance to when he was still in the band, all the times Isaac would happily peer over at his friend as he would warm up, gazing with such admiration and love. Isaac thought his best friend was the most attractive person he'd ever laid eyes on, but who wouldn't think that way about Logan? But, despite this admiration, all Isaac would do is simply adore Logan from a distance. He couldn't get near him; he didn't want to hurt him again.

Zack then blocked the distance between Isaac's loving gaze and Logan, staring down as the tousled-haired male as if he'd just killed a man. "Is that what you call working?" He grumbled in his gruff, terrifying voice. "You're here to tune guitars, not to ogle Logan every chance you get." Isaac couldn't help but grimace merely at the fact that Zack was right up in his face scolding him already. "Sorry." He muttered out in response sheepishly, unable to even look up at the man's face. Zack said nothing more, simply glaring icy cold daggers at him before turning and wandering off. The last thing he would want to do now is piss anyone off again by being distracted by Loganís handsome face, and so Isaac turned his back on the green room, focussing purely on the task at hand. Around twenty minutes later, the support band enthusiastically danced off stage, all high-fiving each other before going to their own designated green room. This was the moment that Isaac was dreading.

Isaac chewed on his bottom lip anxiously, picking up an electric guitar, which Ian quite bluntly requested for, and walking towards the stage. If he pretended to be cool about this, nothing would happen probably. He couldnít act suspicious. That would draw attention. And so, stoically, he walked onto the stage. Some of the crowd cheered at the appearance of somebody on the stage, still oblivious to the fact that they were cheering on their Ďenemyí. Isaac wanted to feel so small right now, his face expressionless but his insides twisting and turning agonisingly at the fear of being noticed. What was he thinking, though? Of course heíd get noticed. Isaacís eyes followed his shoes walking across the stage and, as he stood straight to put the guitar strap over his shoulder, he began to hear several boos in the audience. And then, foolishly, he didnít think before he looked up at the audience.

Pairs of eyes were all boring into him as if he was a target and they were all hitting bullseye. And then, the crowd went manic at the realisation that the Isaac Ashford was standing on stage. Love him or hate him, he was a band member that the fans once worshipped as if he was their God and of course heíd get noticed. Isaac gulped, his frame shuddering lightly as he plugged in the guitar and then lowered his eyes to tune it. He could never prepare for the thunderstorm of cheers and boos that were all for him. And then, several fans began screaming out comments. ďFuck you!Ē He heard one yell. "We want Logan!", ďI love you!Ē, ďGet off the stage!Ē, ďHave my babies!Ē, ďBoo, boo BOO!Ē. Isaacís bottom lip trembled pathetically and he tried his hardest not to let the mixed comments scare and confuse him. But, they did. It was one thing reading them online (even though that still often upset him), but it was another hearing them from people who once would be cheering him on about how he'd changed their lives.

He tried to tune the guitar as quickly as he could, completing the soundcheck with his back to the audience and placing the guitar on its rack on stage before he scrambled off stage stupidly, his heart pounding against his chest. He wanted to cry; he wanted to sit down, curl up and cry. But, he was supposed to be working. And so, with his breath stuttering from the bad emotion he was feeling, he went back to the guitar racks backstage, clasping onto it to pull it closer to the side of the stage where he was going to reside for the show. He had no idea how he was going to make it through this tour if he could barely do a show, but he was surely going to try. He had to for Logan. So, Isaac squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, head resting against the rack, as he heard other staff rushing about, somebody calling ďFive minutes Ďtil weíre on!Ē, and yet Isaac was there, feeling static in a room that was buzzing. He didnít belong here.







I'LL BE THERE AS SOON AS I CAN
BUT I'M BUSY MENDING BROKEN PIECES
OF THE LIFE I HAD BEFORE YOU .


- Samson Nathaniel Erwood -
a
These moments before were a show were always Samsonís favourite. Zack had told him that this venue was almost sold-out. Not quite, but almost. Sam stood in front of the mirror of the green room, fixing the collar of his white dress shirt. He was quite the formal type on stage, that stage presence of his quite elegant yet mysterious. He tipped his chin upwards very slightly, having a look at his hair very briefly, before he leant over and picked up his black blazer and putting it on. And then, Samís gaze turned to Corey sitting there perfectly on the sofa, looking like an angel the way he was seated so peacefully. Sam wanted to smile at him, wanted Corey to know that, yes, he did take notice of him. But, instead, Sam quickly looked away to have a look at Logan warming his vocal chords up for the show. Logan often liked his time to himself during moments like these to really be sure that everything was going according to plan.

And so, as a quick boost of confidence, Sam nodded his head towards Logan and stated, ĒYou sound like youíve been ready for this gig all your life.Ē Then, Sam wandered over to the sofa next to Coreyís, lounging back into it as he sat down. Sam often felt butterflies in his stomach before shows but never any negative feelings of anxiousness. All the feelings he felt before shows were purely the excitement of getting out onto the stage to do what he loved the most, and that was to perform. But, this time, butterflies began dancing in his stomach cheerily as soon as he seated himself nearby his assistant. He looked over at the dark-haired male, cracking his knuckles mindlessly before starting, ĒSo here comes the waiting game. Waiting to go onto the stage feels like forever, Iím telling you.Ē He began to smile a toothy smile at Corey, appearing to be quite content and relaxed. ĒHave you been to many concerts before? He then asked out of pure interest. Hey, if the two of them were going to be spending a lot of time together, Sam would love to know a bit about Corey.

In fact, he would want to learn everything about the younger male. Everything Corey did appeared to lure Sam more and more into this curiosity he had towards him. Sam wanted to know about Corey. All the small things in life, all the big points in Coreyís lifetime timeline, even the simplest stuff like his favourite colour. After all, Sam appeared to be absolutely love-struck... Uhh, obviously in a platonic way, heíd assume maybe. There was just something which drew Samson closer to Corey every time they even shared a glance with each other. Corey was special and Sam felt blessed to have him remain on this entire tour. That meant more opportunity to get to know Corey better. More opportunity just to get to figure out his feelings because ó God ó his head was in such a flurry. All because of the lovely Corey Bleu.




« Last Edit: July 17, 2018, 02:38:48 PM by Hootowls »
◜ WISH YOU WERE HERE ◞
INFO. CHARACTERS.

Offline elysian.

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Re: we мυѕт reιnvenт love !! [ p. ]
« Reply #8 on: July 31, 2017, 06:55:41 PM »
logan cain lawson
i wanna scream i love you from the top of my lungs
logan was ready. he’d been so antsy, so excited for this tour for months. it was always the most surreal feeling; waiting for a tour to come, and then being only minutes away from going and taking the stage. as he went through his warm-up routine-- a thing that had gotten way more polished over the years-- he could feel his heart racing with a buzzing excitement, the cheers from the crowd only making him that much more excited. sure, he hadn’t gotten the most sleep on the plane, full of disney marathons and admiring isaac’s adorable face, yet the rest he had gotten on the way to the venue definitely sufficed. logan never really needed much to be this energetic, to be so excited for a start of a tour. after his usually vocal warm up, of course he sang songs, briefly, to make sure his voice was still in check, still staying warm as the other band went to play. the singer usually tended to like some time with himself before the concert, but that didn’t mean he disliked the attention from anyone else.

as he wandered absently towards the entrance of the green room, he couldn’t help but turn his head and peer outside, albeit momentarily. his doe eyes instantly landed on isaac, and he could feel his chest swelling with a whole newfound feeling. although, the tech had his back to him, and it was enough to make his brown eyes fill with hope. he wanted to call out to him, usher him over here as he waited for the support band to be done with their set. however, he glanced just a bit away to see zack staring at him, and shaking his head to show that he knew what he wanted, and that it was far from being the right choice. the hopeful look in his eyes faded, the stupid smile that had grown on his lips disappearing as he returned back to keeping his vocals warmed up. there was a speaker softly playing music, logan joining in every so often as he absently checked himself in the mirror. though, most of the vigor he had previously felt seemed almost gone. he was almost positive it would return once they got onto the stage. he was positive.

as samson complimented him, he couldn’t help but smile, brighten up a bit. the bassist probably had no idea how much of a confidence boost like that the vocalist truly needed. “thanks, man,” he uttered, trying to still sound sincere, but not show just how much the words meant to him. as he hummed and sang along absently to the music playing, he gazed around the room. spencer, patting his legs half-heartedly, a nervous tick the other always seemed to do before a show. ian chilling in a chair on the opposite side of the room. all of it seemed so normal, so ordinary. then his gaze made his way over towards sam and corey - was it corey? he wasn’t completely sure. he didn’t know why, watching the two of them smile at each other, put such a pit of.. of jealousy, in his stomach. it was the way that they stared at each other, the way their eyes seemed to be lit with such happiness that only those around them could see. his brown gaze darkened, and he turned his gaze outside of the door, at ian’s back. feeling a bit choked up, he forced his gaze away and to the mirror set in front of him. perhaps he had every right to be jealous of the two.

who wasn’t jealous when someone had something that you couldn’t have?

the brunet stared harder in the mirror, absently fixing his collar, even while it was just as it had been before. he was wearing the usual attire; black, leather pants, the gold jacket that he was usually seen wearing while up on the stage. for a while, as he forced himself to brighten up, he convinced himself that everything was okay. there was nothing that could possibly go wrong at this show, their very first show, and logan was going to make sure that that was the case. after he had convinced himself of that, though, he could hear manic yelling coming from the crowd. peering outside of the green room, he watched as the opening band made their way into their own appropriate room, his heart feeling like it was caught in his throat at the realization. isaac. he couldn’t possibly decipher what the crowd was saying, but he turned his head just enough to see the other rushing off the stage, looking defeated and so, utterly broken down. a string of curses ran through his head, wishing that he could run towards the other and console him, hug him, anything.

instead, with sad eyes, he turned away and towards the group seated in the green room. “alright! time to get this show on the road!” he decided, walking around to give their very traditional routine of high fives all around to the fellow band members as they got ready to head on stage. sure, on the inside, he felt like he was dying a bit with each small glance towards isaac beside the guitar rack. but what could he possibly do? there wasn’t enough time to talk to him-- perhaps he could try and squeeze in just a few seconds of talk to the other? he started out of the green room, towards isaac, only to feel a sudden hand on his shoulder. his gaze turned to look at spencer, who had a certain, stern look in his eyes. “aren’t you so ready to just get out on the stage?” as he asked the question, though, he could see the real thing he was trying to tell him. don’t do it. just walk out onto the stage as if nothing was wrong.

swallowing hard, all that he could do was slowly nod in silent agreement before the were given the go to head out onto the stage. he was handed a mic by another stage crew member, glancing down at it before turning his gaze towards isaac. as the group got closer, he couldn’t help noticing just how much of a wreck isaac looked. he was trembling, he looked like he could cry if he weren’t in public. the way his head was leaning against the rack, so sad in a place that was buzzing with energy and excitement. they grew closer, and with each step logan was yearning to be by his side, wrap an arm around him and lean against the guitar rack with him until the mental war waging inside of him subsided. even as the other lifted his head, even as the group walked towards him, though…

all logan could do was keep walking past. 

their eyes met, for just a moment. logan’s sad eyes staring into the other’s own crestfallen depths, wishing that there was more that he could do. his gaze lingered for a bit longer than it should have before he forced his gaze away as they got on the stage. instantly, he put a smile on his face, embracing the loud cheers of the fans, the fans that adored him and his band so much. why would he show them the true sadness, lurking beneath his eyes? instead he listened to the opening to don’t threaten me with a good time, feeling his emotions be forced to the back of his mind as he attempted to focus on the comfort that singing so oftentimes gave him. he still couldn’t help but give a brief glance towards the side of the stage, looking at isaac, before he faced the crowd again and began to sing.

thes code


corey bleu
like stars in the sky, and leaves on the trees
corey couldn’t believe it. oh my god he couldn’t believe it. his blue gaze wandered around the room as he sat comfortably on the sofa in the green room, trying not to show his inner fanboy that was currently running wild. for years - literally a decade and then some years - he had been dreaming of what it was really like to be back here with the band, panic. sure, there were a few videos around youtube if you browsed around enough of the group warming up. of them all chilling around, or logan warming his vocal chords up before the big entrance they always made. everything was so much better than the assistant could’ve ever dreamed of. on the inside, he was ecstatic. his gaze would wander from person to person absently, each time his heart rate speeding up from the nerves that just being around his idols caused.

his gaze wandered towards samson, a soft smile curving his pale lips. well, there was one person in particular that got his heart rattled like nobody else in the room. his gaze brightened as the bassist made his way towards corey, seating himself on the sofa next to his. part of him couldn’t believe how close the two of them were to each other, how good of friends they had become. he thought everything would’ve been ruined with corey holding his hand, and proceeding to pass out while still holding it for that whole ten hour flight. however, it hadn’t seemed to faze them much at all. but, oh, had it done a number to corey’s heart. smiling brightly at the other’s first statement, he nodded his head. “i can’t begin to imagine,” he agreed with him, smiling just that much more as he gazed into the other’s stormy-blue depths. he hesitated for a moment before adding, "you look great, though." it wasn't too much if he had meant it platonically, right? that's what he told himself as he shifted his focus to the other's next question. “i’ve been to quite a bit,” he noted, straightening as he hummed briefly in thought, ”i’ve gone to at least one show for every panic tour, actually. aside from that, maybe just a few smaller bands here and there.” yes, because panic tours gave him a rush of anxiety being surrounded by people. but it was always worth it to see everyone perform.

laughing softly, he recalled, “at one of the shows for the vices and virtues tour,  you threw your pick near the end of the performance, and i caught it.” thank god nobody had fought him for it. the shorter probably would’ve forked it right over. leaning back, he smiled. “it’s crazy. we could have met a handful of times before this.” though that would have been a miracle on its own. corey never stuck around the crowded venue for long after the tour, and, besides, it would’ve been hard for sam to recognize his face out of the hundreds of people in the crowd. “do you ever get nervous, before the show?” sure, it was a rather small, simple question- but corey wanted to know. he wanted to know so much about the other because, at this rate, he felt like he couldn’t possibly learn enough about him. every little conversation they had, every small detail corey found out about the tall, dark-haired male, simply made him fall more and more into this.. this state of complete ease. it made him happy, to simply be with the other, for reasons he wouldn’t dare ever explain. he had fallen for samson, and he had fallen pretty hard.

hearing logan announce that it was time for them to get going, he couldn’t help but feel both a little disappointed their conversation was ended so shortly, but also so excited to see them perform. standing up from the sofa, he nodded his head towards sam. “good luck out there. i’m sure you’ll be absolutely amazing.” actually, there wasn’t even a single doubt in his mind about it, as they wandered out of the green room. of course he would be admiring the other the whole time, simply lost in the amazingness that was samson.


thes code
« Last Edit: August 01, 2017, 08:34:42 AM by ᵐᵉˡᵃⁿᶜʰᵒˡʸ »

Offline truce.

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Re: we мυѕт reιnvenт love !! [ p. ]
« Reply #9 on: August 02, 2017, 08:33:14 AM »

THERE I JUST SAID IT,
I'M SCARED YOU'LL
FORGET ABOUT ME .

- Isaac James Ashford -
a
Isaac felt torn between wishing to remain on this tour and believing it would be best if he just left now. Besides, he already knew that he was not welcome here; now, with the fanís reaction, he knew that that was evident. None of the stage crew members gave him the time of day apart from one who directed him to where he was supposed to keep the guitar rack before the show. Spencer, his childhood best friend, didnít even want to look in his direction. The heartache had been too much for Spence, it seemed. Isaac couldnít blame him though; who would be so selfish as to drop his best friend without contacting him again for the chance to be a star? Zack already made it clear that Isaac was only here to be tolerated, if that. Not even one show in and Isaac had already been lectured by the tough man about how he wasnít doing his job properly. It seemed like nobody even wanted him here. He was like a storm cloud enveloping a beautifully sunny sky. He was not where he belonged.

But, he had a promise to keep. Logan had been so excited at the prospect of Isaac reuniting with him on this tour. Of course, that had been Isaacís intentions, too. Though his motive was to ultimately get a job ó he was short of cash and desperate to do anything for a paycheck ó he couldíve been hired literally anywhere. The fact that he specifically called Logan up to ask for a job simply proved that, hidden behind his fa√ßade of stubbornness, there was something in Isaac which made him want Logan back. Need Logan back. He couldnít help it but Isaac was drawn towards his friendís spirited attitude, his optimism, his handsome face, divine singing voice, his... Isaac didnít want to think of that all because the list went on and on and even with all of that evidence he refused to believe that this was anything more than a feeble attempt to cure the bitterness between him and the existing band. And, since it appeared that the rest of the band had no intention of rekindling the friendship they had with Isaac in the past, Isaac concluded that all of what he was doing was for himself and Logan.

Isaac kept having to think that to himself; this was for Logan.

He was stood, head resting defeatedly against the guitar rack, listening to the background music playing throughout the venue with the muffled noise of fans talking amongst themselves. At least, where he was stood right now, he couldnít see the people who were busy working behind him, not having to potentially deal with any more trouble tonight. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss. He felt so overwhelmed by emotion that, ironically, he almost felt numb. His heart remained a thud against his chest, his breathing erratic yet soft and he felt like he was drowning the waters of his mind. He couldnít help but feel scared; all of this was so new to him. It was one thing getting harassed online with hate, but it was a totally different thing seeing people in his face insinuating that he didnít belong here. They were right, anyway. Why was Isaac here? It wasnít like heíd signed a contract to be here for the tour. The only contract he signed was the voiced promise that heíd be there for Logan.

 He didnít seem to be doing a decent job at that. Around Logan, all he did was be miserable.

Isaac couldnít even stand up straight when he heard the final call for the band to be ready as the lights dimmed, the crowd cried with eagerness and the introduction played through the speakers. Images on the screen in the background of the stage lit up the faces of the enthusiastic fans in the first few rows, them cheering and chanting ďPanic! Panic! Panic!Ē. His gaze silently followed those in the crowd. In some strange way, Isaac wanted to smile at the excitement of the people whoíd just torn him to shreds. These people wanted to see their hero, his best friend. All these people loved Logan, but not as much as Isaac did. And yet, they still showed Logan more love than Isaac ever did. He wanted to smile because at least Logan had these hundreds of die-hard fans who would bow down and kiss his feet if he asked them to. Isaac was a shitty friend, a shitty more-than-friend, or whatever he wished he could be to Logan; Isaac couldnít even be there to truly show Logan how much he loved him. All he did was get Logan's hopes up and them stomp them back down on the ground.

Isaacís body felt skittish and he already appeared defeated. Good thing his job was already half completed for tonight. Maybe after packing all the guitars away, he could climb back on the bus, pretend none of this happened and repeat it the next day. They were due to remain at the Fabrique Arena until tomorrow evening and so hopefully itíd be easier than it was tonight. As Ian, Spencer and Samson walked out onto the stage, Isaac held his breath, almost as in anticipation for who was coming, and turned his head every slightly to meet Loganís gaze as he walked by. God, he looked attractive in attire, especially in that golden blazer. They only managed to share the gaze between each other for a moment, Loganís saddened eyes locking with Isaacís own. Isaac appeared crushed, though the faked smile which tugged at the left corner of his lip tried to say otherwise.

And then, Logan walked away and waltzed onto the stage. The crowd went crazy. Isaacís smile fell off of his lips the moment the first song began to play and, instead, he lifted his head, silently watching the man that he wanted to love so much, but knew he shouldnít. It was hard being a massive jerk. Isaac would know; he had just realised that heíd have to sit and watch the person heíd lost every day for two months, knowing fully well that he could never get him back. Logan was his elusive muse, the brass ring heíd always fail to catch. Heíd once been so close to reaching that famous happy end with him. But then he went along and fucked that up out of pure selfishness.

And now, this time around, he wanted nothing more than for their love for one another to be fact and not fiction, but how could that ever be the case when the whole world was wedged between them? They were so close and yet still so far, and Isaac knew there was nothing he could do about it.

Spoiler: show








I'LL BE THERE AS SOON AS I CAN
BUT I'M BUSY MENDING BROKEN PIECES
OF THE LIFE I HAD BEFORE YOU .


- Samson Nathaniel Erwood -
a
Samson couldnít tell whether it was because he hadnít done so for ages or if it was because Corey was in the room, but he was so excited to get on with this show. He felt all joyous and cheerful, every once in a while singing a snippet of the song playing in the room. As he sat down nearby Corey, a grin full of zest riddled across his lips, as his powder blue eyes studied Coreyís features. This seemed like the most exuberant Sam had ever seen Corey, and he couldnít help but feel this warmth of pride tingle through his senses. He was so happy that Corey had come along for the tour, even though technically he was hired to do so. It didnít really seem that way, though. Instead, it felt like Corey was a good friend to him, here to hang out before the show. Good friends donít hold hands for ten hours, though. Samson was yet to really comprehend all that happened and his feelings behind it, but he was quick to push the idea that ó yes ó he was just helping Corey out. He was afraid on the plane and, as a good friend, it helped relax him. But, Sam knew that, hidden somewhere within him, there was more to that story than simply that.

He lowered his gaze to look at his outfit, feeling strangely coy at the compliment given to him by Corey. ĒWhy thank you; thatís so kind of you.Ē He replied in a playful tone, wagging an eyebrow Coreyís way. He kind of wanted that to have been said in a more-than-platonic way, but maybe that was just him asking for a miracle to happen. When the conversation was quick to change subject, he leaned back and rested his arms comfortably on the backs of the sofa, interested in his answer. ĒOh, wow. So youíve been an avid fan right from the start. Iíd call that dedicated.Ē He replied quite enthusiastically because, well, he hadnít heard of many fans whoíd been there for the band from the beginning and, to Samson, that was impressive.

His interest grew as the conversation progressed to the point where Sam leaned forwards a little, raising his eyebrows at Coreyís comment. ĒNo way! What are the chances, huh?Ē He began, a sudden excitement lacing his voice. ĒWe probably crossed paths so many times and I was so oblivious to it all, and now weíve met and look at us!Ē It had come to such a surprise, even though it shouldnít have, that the two of them had so many chances to meet beforehand but fate only allowed them to meet one week ago. The conversation between them was so simple but it was evident that the both of them were totally fixated on each other. ĒNervous?Ē He began to answer, ĒNot nervous but, like, anxious to get out and perform, if you get me? Like, I donít feel scared, I just have butterflies in my stomach because Iím about to do something big.Ē It had been such a simple question with a complex answer. It was hard to really define how it felt to be out on the stage.

He took a moment to glance around at the others warming up before he turned to look back at Corey. ĒI donít think Iíve actually introduced everyone to you yet,Ē and then, just his luck, Logan announced that they had to start the show. ĒAnd I wonít be until later!Ē Sam added cheerfully, this enthusiasm to go and start the show shining through in the way he was acting so happily. As he stood up from the sofa, Corey wished him luck and, in response, Samson smiled at him and said, ĒThanks so much... Iíll talk to you later.Ē He then rested his hand on his shoulder for a moment as he passed Corey, following the rest of the band out to the stage. They did their classic high fives all around before leaving the room, Samson taking lead as he had to walk the furthest across the stage to get to his bass. He took a deep breath as the lights dimmed before walking out, hearing the fans screaming. Being unable to stop himself from smiling for a moment, he picked up his bass, putting the strap around his shoulders and, as the introduction ended, he began to play the renowned bass line of his for the beginning of the first song.   



« Last Edit: July 17, 2018, 02:41:19 PM by Hootowls »
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Offline elysian.

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Re: we мυѕт reιnvenт love !! [ p. ]
« Reply #10 on: August 02, 2017, 11:13:39 AM »
logan cain lawson
i wanna scream i love you from the top of my lungs
some would say that a fake smile was used usually to convince others that they were fine. however, catching that brief look at isaac, he knew he wasn’t. isaac wasn’t okay- and, reasonably, logan felt there was nobody to blame but himself. nobody else in the band, or anyone in the crew for that matter, had wanted isaac to come along for the tour. there wasn’t a single person that had even known about it until they had gotten to the airport; not a single person except for logan. part of him, as horrible as it sounded, wished that he hadn’t invited the other to come along. he wished that he could take back their time spent at his house, excitedly chattering about everything that would happen on tour. it had been well needed, though. all of these years, and logan thought that isaac had forgotten about him. it had been a fear that had dwelled in his mind ever since he left; that isaac hadn’t cared about him, that there hadn’t been a single thing about him for the ex-guitarist to miss. but he was here, now, wasn’t he?

sure, he knew that at the end of it all there was a pretty hefty check for isaac- but he liked to think that hadn’t been the only reason he had come along. he liked to think that he had come for more than money. honestly, though, that also somewhat scared him. there was that fear that the same thing would happen as the last time they had been brought together; that it would be an endless cycle of begging for isaac’s love, begging for attention, only to get crushed and devastated the moment they parted ways. there were so many times where he would try and shower isaac with as much love as his heart could muster. sometimes he’d do it to the point where he loved until he couldn’t possibly show anything more loving. yet, at the end of the day, they were still exactly where they’d been. but logan had been okay with that. he’d been alright with showing him that he loved him, that nobody could possibly love him more than he did. because isaac was something to him. he was his everything. with his unruly locks, and that adorable, coy way he carried about himself whenever he was flattered.

logan was so helplessly lost in him.

luckily, the moment he stepped on stage, almost all of the heartache was out of his mind. the stage was like a home to him, a place where he went to for comfort and to just escape from the world for a bit, in a sense. perhaps it was wrong to say, but the musician was a born performer. he lived for moments like these, where he could step onto the stage and hear the screams of fans. where he could hear people singing his lyrics right back to him, each one feeling a different pain or emotion with each line than his own meaning. it was love, coming in waves off of them and straight to him, and he lived for that. while singing, though, he couldn’t help but glance occasionally at isaac during the brief moments where he didn’t sing. hoping to see the affection in those brown depths like the thousands of adoring gazes before him. but all he felt was regret whenever he peered over, and, after finishing a few songs, he deciding that he wouldn’t- couldn’t look over there anymore. it would only break him, in the end.

he’d been completely drowned in the music, genuine smiles slowly coming onto his face as he sang each song, some old and some from their recent album; from doing a few back flips to truly get the crowd enthused. everything had been going great. but, then came the song that he didn’t know he had been unknowingly dreading. impossible year. the song had been written specifically about the male right at the end of the stage, watching on. as he made his way towards the piano, lights dimmed as the crew moved it on stage, he couldn’t help but feel his heart racing in his chest from more than the adrenaline of being up in front of all these people. as he struck the beginning chords, and began to play, he couldn’t help but feel all the emotions he’d formerly shoved down rising back up to the surface.

“there’s no sunshine
this impossible year
only black days, and sky gray,
and clouds full of fear,
and storms full of sorrow,
that won’t disappear,
just typhoons, and monsoons,
this impossible year…”


he continued to sing the lyrics, all the time not being able to look isaac in the eye. instead, he kept his gaze on the piano keys, or occasionally lifted his head- but closed his eyes, every time. because isaac had to know, there was no possible way that he couldn’t know this song was about him. it hurt to think that he was singing this song about him, while he was standing there the whole while. in a strange way, it made him feel guilty that he had even wrote it in the first place; that he hadn’t at least cared to change the set list. it had been too late to do that, though. perhaps, just perhaps, the other wouldn’t see too far into it. it was simply about a party, right? that was all that it could possibly be about. it was pathetic to think that the lyricist wouldn’t see past the blinds logan had put, though- it was pathetic to think that he couldn’t even look the other in the eye.

“there’s no you and me,
this impossible year
only heartache and heartbreak
and gin made of tears.
the bitter pill i swallow,
the scars souvenir,
that tattoo, your last bruise
this impossible year…”


each line that he sang felt like it was slowly chipping away at his heart. he could feel his eyes watering during the instrumental, blinking hard to try and will them all away. instead, all that the brunet could do was turn his head just slightly away from the crowd, swallowing down the lump that had formed in his throat.

“there’s no sunshine…”

the heartbreak was evident in his voice. how could the fans not notice? how could they not see how much this song was absolutely tearing him apart? his hands were trembling slightly and, wow, it was amazing that he hadn’t managed to mess up the string of chords he was playing on the piano. what was even more amazing, though, was that the singer lifted his head away from the keys, locking his eyes with isaac. isaac. the very person that had made him write this song, that had made him feel all these raw emotions that he could only manage to get through with this song. the one that currently had his heart breaking because, no matter how logan tried, he knew there was no use. isaac would never love him the way that logan did, and he wasn’t okay, he’d never be okay.

“there’s no you and me…”

he held his brown gaze with the other’s own, only to quickly turn his head away, because it had done a huge number on him. he could feel himself choking up as he finished the song, managing to keep the shakiness out of his voice - even while the sadness still hung there just the same.

“there’s no good times,
this impossible year..”

 
as the lights dimmed, he leaned his head against the piano, his shoulder trembling just the slightest bit as a few tears slipped past his eyes. this had been a bad idea. he didn’t know what this quite was, but he knew.. no, he didn’t know, how long he could keep this up. he forced himself to stand and move away from the piano, taking the mic with him as he wiped the few tears away with the sleeve of his gold jacket.

and, sure enough, as soon as the lights were back on, he was fine. smiling and going straight back to performing. because as much as he wanted to stop right then and there, he had to. as the famous saying goes, the show must go on. heartbreak was no exception to the rule.

Spoiler: show

thes code
corey bleu
like stars in the sky, and leaves on the trees
as samson looked at his outfit and playfully replied to the compliment, he couldn’t help but give a playful roll of his eyes in response to the other’s wagging eyebrow. he wished that the compliment could’ve meant more; that it could’ve been taken in the way that corey had actually meant it. hell, he wished he could’ve said how handsome the bassist looked right now- how great he always looked, really. or how adorable he had looked when corey had momentarily woken up during the flight, still holding his hand, and seeing that the other had fallen asleep, as well. just the thought of it made his heart feel like it was going to burst - yet he knew he couldn’t think too deeply into that plane ride. samson was simply being a good friend of his, making sure he didn’t get more anxious on the plane than he already was. although, corey hadn’t been anxious during that flight for those whole ten hours… he instead decided to push that thought away, and enjoy their brief moment of chatter as it lasted. of course when it was time for samson to go, it felt like they hadn’t gotten to talk for nearly long enough.

the brief shoulder touch was enough to make him smile as they uttered their goodbyes, watching as the band left for the stage. he lingered for just a moment in the empty room, glancing around. it was hard to believe that this was going to be his life for the next two months; touring with the band that he’d been a huge fan of ever since he was an embarrassing teen. he rolled his eyes at his sappiness before he walked out towards the entrance of the stage. he could already hear the bass part being played by samson and, eager to get to watch the performance, he moved just a bit quicker to get to the entrance of the stage. however, as he neared the side, he couldn’t help but briefly slow down in his tracks.

it was him. it was isaac fucking ashford.

stopping a ways back, he silently tried to convince himself that this was a good enough spot. he wasn’t as close as he’d like to be, and could hardly see samson as he was on the complete other side. but he could deal, if it meant not confronting isaac ashford, of all people. yet, for samson - or moreso for himself so he could see the talented bassist - he moved forward to be beside the other, even if he did leave as much space between them as he could. it wasn’t so much that he disliked the old band member- no, actually, it was quite the opposite. he thought the absolute best of this guy. sure, sure, he knew he was just another person-- but, at the same time, the other was his idol. the person that corey had looked up to more than anyone else in the band, back in the day. it was hard to pay attention to what all was going on stage, almost, because of how badly he wanted to talk to him. after a short while, after the first song was over, he decided that he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. “hey. i, uh.. don’t think we’ve met yet,” he stammered through his introduction. “but i’m corey bleu. samson’s assistant for this tour..”

mentally, he cursed himself. boy, was he off to a great start.

rubbing the back of his neck, he released a deep breath. hell, his anxiety at this moment was completely getting the best of him. it wasn’t often that he was the first one to initiate the conversation. actually, it wasn’t very often that he even had a conversation with someone. “i’m a huge fan,” he gushed, a smile managing to come to his lips. “easily one of the best lyricists i’ve known. with panic, the young veins..” he knew he was rambling a bit- probably telling the other what he’s heard a billion times, before. but who could blame him? this was the person that he’d admired ever since he was a teen. sure, while he also had most of his focus on samson - who was killing it, might he add - part of him couldn’t help but feel so happy with the idea of getting to talk to isaac, his idol that he thought that whole world of. there weren’t many fans that thought the same, but, honestly, there was probably nothing the other could do to make the secretary hate him. "everything you wrote was so amazing. seriously."
thes code
« Last Edit: August 02, 2017, 12:30:37 PM by ᵐᵉˡᵃⁿᶜʰᵒˡʸ »

Offline truce.

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Re: we мυѕт reιnvenт love !! [ p. ]
« Reply #11 on: August 03, 2017, 10:29:55 AM »

THERE I JUST SAID IT,
I'M SCARED YOU'LL
FORGET ABOUT ME .

- Isaac James Ashford -
a
Isaac so badly wanted to claim that his smile was genuine. He saw Logan pass by, a person he really enjoyed the company of, and so it was only right to smile at him, right? Wrong. Well, don‚Äôt get him wrong, he loved Logan dearly. The thought of the other male made Isaac want to swoon almost, but that smile he gave him wasn‚Äôt for Logan to know that Isaac adored him. That smile was for the slight hope that Logan would no longer be able to tell Isaac‚Äôs ‚Äėfake‚Äô smiles and ‚Äėreal‚Äô smiles apart after years of being apart. A real smile was a rare occurrence for Isaac; those were only seen when something really humoured him or if he was in the presence of somebody who really liked. A fake smile, however, was merely put on to represent how he wished he felt at the time. His lying lips would allow a notion of what he wished could be reality, yet his dark eyes would speak the truth to anybody. Isaac wanted to be excited about tonight, feel just as cheery as Logan appeared to be feeling, but who can smile a genuine smile after being made to feel totally unwelcome here? Not Isaac. And so, he tried his best to lie through the almost non-existent smile on his lips. It was better than nothing, right?

He would try anything for Logan, though. Besides, he selflessly wanted Logan to feel happy in this moment of time. It was his first show of the tour; he deserved nothing else but pure elation. Isaac’s anguish was not going to get in the way of that and so a slight smile was the best Isaac had to get to try to convince him that he was okay, even when he wasn’t. However, there was only so much faking he could do before his true colours would begin to shine. When he was left, stood in the shadows beside the stage, his shoulders fell, his smile wiped off his face and his eyes grew dark again. Logan would be too focused on the performance to notice, right? Again, wrong. Isaac’s gaze followed his beautiful friend perform like the star he was on stage, feeling a sense of pride unlike the envy he once felt around him. No wonder Panic grew more and more acclaimed in the years following Isaac’s departure; they had somebody as talented as Logan to front the band.

His heart felt like it skipped a beat when Logan began glancing over at Logan occasionally in the moments between him singing. Isaac stared back at him stupidly, eyes dismal and dull and with no expression on his face apart from the stoic blankness he was so good at putting on, faking it so easily. God, Isaac was so fake. And, most of all, whilst his heart danced at Logan‚Äôs attention all on him ‚Äď even for the briefest of moments ‚Äď Isaac‚Äôs hard gaze showed no love or praise for what Logan was doing. He had to remain strong, after all, else he knew that he‚Äôd be moments away from setting off like a time bomb of guiltiness and misery. He wasn‚Äôt sure how he was managing to hold it all together. He wasn‚Äôt supposed to be here, but he didn‚Äôt want to hurt Logan by him wanting to just go home again to where he felt secure. Oh God he felt to guilty from the thought alone. Logan had seemed so happy that Isaac was going to be there for him. Isaac wasn‚Äôt a reliable friend, though, and Logan should‚Äôve known that from experience.

And then, the lights dimmed. Logan walked over to the piano and began to play a sorrowful piece, soon the lyrics striking Isaac’s heart painfully. This was unlike any of the powerfully exciting songs that were sung earlier. This was a song built upon nostalgia, pain and Isaac. He was yet to realise that the song had been written about him specifically, but a pain played at his heartstrings mournfully at the gloomy words which parted Logan’s lips. With the way that he was singing the words, Isaac could tell that the words meant a lot to Logan. The emotion which emitted through his angelic voice simply proved that this song came right down from the pit of heart, proved that behind cheerful Logan was something far more despondent hidden within the façade he’d put on. Isaac wasn’t yet sure what had hurt Logan so much, but he had a feeling he was going to learn soon.

Isaac gulped hard, brushing his thick, wavy locks back as he watched on his parted lips, dreading for what the answer could be to Logan’s misery. And then, Logan looked straight over, their eyes meeting each other’s woefully as the heart-wrenching answer was revealed. There’s no you and me… Isaac quickly lowered his eyes, suddenly feeling a painful prick of fresh tears pool up in his eyes and feeling his heart tear to shreds in an instant. He was the one who hurt Logan this way. He only raised his head once again when the fans began cheering at the end of the song, the lights had gone low and he felt that it was safe enough for him to glance at the stage again without Logan looking at the state he was in. His vision was rendered blurry from the tears that wallowed in his orbs and, trying his best to remain subtle, he blinked his eyes, allowing for a couple tears to fall whilst he swatted them away as quickly as he could. The last thing he would’ve wanted was for Logan to see the way he reacted to the song which he was so certain was about him. He had broken his heart and, judging by the lonely look in Logan’s eyes, he was doing so all over again.

Call Isaac a ‚Äėheartbreaker‚Äô. Oh yes he was. But not because he was ‚Äėso charming that everyone wanted him but not everyone could have him‚Äô. No, no. He was a simply heartbreaker because, no matter how much Logan tried to reach out to him, Isaac would just push Logan away and deny the fact that he was definitely leading him on the whole time. He was oh-so-good at breaking Logan‚Äôs heart and that reality hurt him terribly. Isaac felt like a monster. He was destroyed what he loved, all through broken promises and stupid fake smiles and making Logan believe that maybe this time Isaac would give him a chance. Isaac was ‚Äėhard to get‚Äô. Not because he wanted to play a game with Logan, but because all he could ever do was reject the male over and over and over again until all Logan could resort to was write a heartbreaking song about how a Logan and an Isaac could never become an ‚Äúus‚ÄĚ.

Isaac was so fucking pathetic.

He felt a lump in his throat and a pain set deep in his heart. He wanted so badly just to burst through the fire exit doors and escape back to his safety net, his own home. A place where he could protect everyone else from him and his heartless ways. All he did was hurt those he loved, and he seemed to do that so heedlessly.

And then, somebody who he didn‚Äôt even register approach him began to talk. Isaac flinched very slightly at the sudden voice beside him, and he remained glumly silent whilst he listened to the introduction. After a brief awkward silent, Isaac felt obliged to say something in return. ‚ÄĚI‚Äôm Isaac‚Ķ Ashford.‚ÄĚ He grumbled out quite inaudibly, keeping his eyes on Logan sadly as he watched the other springing to life again and joyfully performing on stage, knowing well that this was all for show. But then, the guy continued to talk. Oh for fucks sake.

Isaac squeezed his painfully red and puffy eyes shut for a moment, his lips pressed together a tight line out of irritation. He should‚Äôve been more grateful that this Corey had approached him and was so amiable towards him. Besides, not many people had been this kind to him on the tour so far. And, in ways, he felt humbled by the compliments he was receiving from this fan‚Ķ But he didn‚Äôt want to deal with any of that right now. Definitely not whilst he was feeling this vulnerable. Isaac rolled his eyes almost as Corey brought up his work as a lyricist and, after he finished up his sentence, Isaac froze briefly before turning his head to look at Corey, eyes distant and bloodshot from his sadness, and he contemptuously responded, ‚ÄĚThanks. You're too kind.‚ÄĚ He sounded almost sarcastic as he then turned his head and continued watching the performance to the end because he couldn‚Äôt bear glance over at the poor fan again. God, Isaac was such an asshole. He simply had a talent at messing everything up for himself. A gold star for you, Isaac, you asshole.







I'LL BE THERE AS SOON AS I CAN
BUT I'M BUSY MENDING BROKEN PIECES
OF THE LIFE I HAD BEFORE YOU .


- Samson Nathaniel Erwood -
a
Sam’s body felt engulfed by an electrifying enthusiasm for the performance he was giving. He plucked the strings of the bass guitar, eyes shut in a pure feeling of contentment at the music he was playing. He was in the zone. He strived to be the best musician he could be. With his work from his little band The Brobecks, the little jingles he’d sing to his kids all the way to the music he performed for this world-renowned band, it was evident how much life and soul he’d put into whatever he did. He’d not felt this happy in so long; he was finally in a place where he felt he belonged, and that was on stage in front of hundreds of adoring fans who loved him for what he did. For them, he’d do anything during this concert to show that he was almost 'besotted' with the music that he was playing.

As the show drew to a close, he felt beads of sweat had formed on his forehead, his hair lightly damp from the perspiration of the hot lights focussed on the stage as well as the bobbing around he‚Äôd done for an hour. He bowed for the fans quickly, waving them a friendly farewell before walking off stage. He removed the bass strap over his head, holding his instrument as he went straight towards Corey, high-fiving Logan, Ian and Spencer triumphally along the way. ‚ÄĚSo, what did you think, huh?!‚ÄĚ He exclaimed, a broad grin riddled across his lips. It was no secret that Samson was definitely at his peak when he was surrounded by his livelihood which was his music. It was evident to see that from the enthusiasm which poured from him in that moment, despite being so exhausted from the hour-long show.

He had hoped that Corey enjoyed the concert. After all, in ways he had been working extra hard to simply impress Corey. He seemed to love the band a lot and so Samson thought he just had to give Corey yet another reason to love the band. In some ways, Samson didn’t quite comprehend why he felt the need to want to constantly impress the other male. Was it because Sam thought he was bigger and better? Oh God no; Sam was probably the humblest man you could ever meet. Was he simply wanting Corey to have the VIP fan experience? No way; he was more importantly his friend and assistant on tour, not only a fan. He couldn’t quite understand why he wanted Corey to enjoy the band, to notice Sam, to really have a look at Sam… There was something underlying which Samson wasn’t addressing but probably should’ve been addressed the moment he saw Corey the first time. Some feelings far more intense than 'wanting Corey to have a VIP fan experience'.

Having gone straight to his assistant, asking him about how he saw the show, Sam suddenly noticed, from Corey’s facial expression, that things seemed to have not been as exciting as Sam had hoped it to be, he assumed. His eyebrows furrowed together with concern, his heart rate suddenly picking up anxiously. He didn’t look like an idiot out there, did he? Had he done something wrong which had upset Corey? Oh no, oh no. His smile almost immediately fell off his lips, quickly looking away awkwardly. What had he done wrong?


« Last Edit: August 03, 2017, 12:22:15 PM by harlem. »
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Re: we мυѕт reιnvenт love !! [ p. ]
« Reply #12 on: August 03, 2017, 12:46:25 PM »
logan cain lawson
i wanna scream i love you from the top of my lungs
the stage meant more to logan than he could possibly explain. it was where he could be himself, where he could sing about problems he was facing, in front of a crowd of accepting, adoring fans. it was where he could tell the stories of his life, heartbreaking and genuine, and always be met with cheers, some with tears in their eyes from the heartbreak their favorite vocalist had in his voice. looking around at those fans as they started the last half of the show, he couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride in his chest. it was nice, to be able to look at these fans and see that they were always there for him. it was amazing, to see the effect that his music had on them. while for himself, it was therapeutic to write them, it was very much the same, it appeared, to those that heard them. none of them knew the meaning of impossible year. he’d get asked constantly, and each time fabricate the story just the slightest bit. oh, it’s the end of the party and the host is alone. it never quite explained the whole thing, and, as far as the fans were concerned, he would never quite elaborate on it fully. but they were fine with that, because, to them, logan was sharing one of the greatest pains he’d gone through- and it was so much more than the end of a party.

it was the end of logan and isaac. it was the end of them.

logan was contemplating if he could even say that he had ever had isaac to begin with. his life was always full of chasing isaac around, following him like a lost puppy because, without isaac, he was lost. sure, they would argue quite often during the writing process, or whenever they were practicing and brushing up on things. it was simply because isaac had always wanted loge to portray the lyrics a certain way- because they were all about his story, his woes and troubles. it was awe-inspiring, really, how hard the vocalist had worked to make sure every little thing was how isaac wanted it- even while it had truly started to wear him down near the end of their time together. the more he seemed to get rejected with each advance he attempted towards the other, the more everything seemed to weigh him down. he wasn’t happy, anymore. perhaps the two of them truly weren’t meant to be, no matter how hard the brunet tried to convince himself otherwise.

he couldn’t stop glancing over at isaac throughout the performance. a pit of disgust set in his stomach at the thought. it was crazy to think that, after all these years, he was still looking to isaac for approval. it disgusted him, that he kept looking at him, hoping to see affection in those beautiful brown depths. nothing made him feel so lowly than the thought that he was just there, begging to see that isaac was acknowledging him, that he was proud of all the work he and the band put forward to be what they are. what was even worse, was that it hurt. the only way to describe how he felt was just complete and utter pain, complete rejection, as he would look towards isaac. the way he’d try and decipher the other’s expression, only to see that there was nothing for him to really look into. his friend’s gaze was hard, stoic, lack of any true expression. there wasn’t any love. there wasn’t a single sign of pride beaming in those eyes like he was hoping there would be. there wasn’t even a sign that he was happy to be there, happy to get to see how much logan had improved and changed.

that stung. as a matter of fact, the musician found it harder and harder to stare over at him. so he chose not to. he chose to keep his gaze focused on the crowd, on everything except isaac. it was too painful. honestly, it hurt almost as badly as the day isaac had left. still, as much as he hated himself for it, he couldn’t help but look at him for a brief couple of moments after impossible year. it seemed to have finally hit isaac that the song was about him. it was probably the only emotion he could possibly decipher from the other- the red, puffy eyes, the sadness. was he guilty? did he feel bad for the emotions that he had put him through? for the most part, he’d wished that the other didn’t know about all the grief that he’d left him. the bitterness that he’d felt, the emotional scars that him leaving had left on his heart. he had wanted to protect isaac from the painful emotions he’d gone through.

instead, he’d ended up confronting him with them.

logan had to put that smile back on his lips, though. he’d gotten to sing his emotions out on the stage, and that was something he had figured he’d truly needed. if that was what he’d truly needed, however, then how come he felt so empty inside, now? it felt like he’d sung his heart out through that song, and then the piece had picked his heart up and carried it away as it ended. he wanted to dwell on those emotions, but he was already being picked right up into another song, another exciting one that brought forth so much energy from the crowd. while he felt so empty, like there was nothing left, he could still manage to perform as if nothing was wrong. that was part of show business, though; he was meant to be an entertainer. he was meant to be in front of this crowd, and put on a show, even when the excitement and buzz he’d felt only moments ago was gone. he thought he had picked up the pieces of his heart and glued them back together fairly well; but it seemed to feel like they were falling apart all over again, and in more fragments and shards than before.

as the show came to end, logan liked to think that he was back to being happy. or, at least feeling that spark of happiness that always came after having a great show. smiling brightly as they went and gave each other high fives while walking farther from the stage, he chuckled. however, he didn’t, couldn’t bring his gaze to find isaac’s as everybody moved about on getting ready to pack up the bus. they would be here again tomorrow, which he was glad for one less day of traveling about, and he couldn’t help but feel excited for the next show. or, perhaps the show was just something he was using to keep his mind off of isaac. as he walked past the slightly taller - well, taller if the two both stood up straight - he couldn’t help but gently brush past the other, the slightest touch, as he went off the stage. and, as much as he previously swore he wouldn’t say anything to the other, do anything, he softly uttered, “find me when you’re done.

he cared so much about the other, in ways that he couldn’t possibly explain. he loved him, and though the absolute world of him. yet, part of him was finally starting to realize that feelings like that would never be reciprocated. isaac hadn’t loved him before. he most certainly wouldn’t love him now.

as they walked away from the stage, picking up all their stage in the green room and beginning to leave the venue, logan felt rather.. numb, almost. while shrugging off his jacket, he felt a hand on his shoulder, and turned to see zack. his face was stone cold, emotionless, as he said, “you’re lucky your little friend didn’t mess anything up tonight.” all loge could do was stare, give a curt nod, and watch as the bigger man walked off. stressed, he ran his fingers through his hair as he followed zack, leading them to where the bus was.

god, him and isaac had a lot to talk about.

thes code
corey bleu
like stars in the sky, and leaves on the trees
corey could feel his nerves getting the best of him, his heart racing with excitement and anxiety as he awaited for isaac’s reply. why wouldn’t he be excited? this was isaac ashford. he could remember being a hopeless teen, watching him in interviews and admiring him. sure, most people usually didn’t share the same thoughts, but, to corey, the member had been someone to truly look up to. he wasn’t extroverted, like everyone else. he was shy, and timid, and usually was so soft-spoken. that was something that had interested corey from the very start, from the very first time he’d heard of the band. it had been a lifelong dream of his, to meet the person he’d admired so much for all these years. it was worth the clashing nerves and excitement, it was worth the painful aching in his chest. it was… it was…

he watched as the other turned his gaze towards him, hopeful, light blue eyes beaming. however, the look was quick to fade at the other’s contemptuous words, the annoyed look in his red, irritated eyes. his smile faded, the brightness in his gaze fading.

it was heartbreaking.

all he could do was stand and stare after the other turned his gaze away. ignoring him as if he hadn’t even talked to him in the first place. hell, corey couldn’t even explain the mixture of emotions that had settled uneasily in his heart in a span of seconds. one minute, he felt like he was on top of the world. the very next, he felt like he was.. he was just down, alright? his lower lip trembled briefly, although from years of practice he managed to stop that movement. he wanted to cry, he wanted to apologize, he wanted-- swallowing hard, he turned his gaze back to the stage. he wanted samson. even while they hadn’t known each other very long, the other was the only person that he wanted to be with, right now. the show wasn’t near being done, yet, and all he could do was stand there, and try and get lost in the show.

hell, he was supposed to be happy. this was the closest he had ever been at a panic show, getting to see all of them play up-close. it was… it was amazing, really. but, all the while, his mind was still thinking about how he’d just messed up. how, in a span of minutes, he’d managed to make his idol hate his guts. he felt bad that he was grateful for the show to be over, to see samson coming towards him. although, while he wished he could match the other’s adorable, excited energy, he just.. couldn’t. still, he managed a soft smile - because, seriously, who couldn’t smile when around samson - and hummed. “it was great,” he responded, trying to sound enthused. but.. he didn’t know. he felt broken down- on the verge of complete panic. his idol, his favorite lyricist ever, more than likely couldn’t even stand being around him. who could blame him? corey wasn’t anything special. what right did he have to just walk up and talk to him?

he found himself, without even thinking, hug the tall male in front of him. “you were amazing. you were totally killing it, out there.” perhaps a thing to note was that, whenever corey did get down, he became pretty.. um.. clingy? of course, if samson said so, he’d back off immediately. he just needed comfort and, honestly, the thing that he preferred when it came to comfort was someone else’s touch. it made him feel less alone with his anxiety, nerves, and sadness, alright? plus, he’d seen the concern in the other’s eyes and.. and it was painful, almost, to see that look in the bassist’s eyes-- for reasons that he wouldn’t quite explain.

giving a meek laugh, he softly added, mustering as much playfulness in his tone, "it was kind of hard to focus on anyone else." sure, that could've been taken in many ways. and, while he meant it as more than just platonically, he knew it'd be taken from a friendship point of view.
thes code
« Last Edit: August 03, 2017, 01:12:33 PM by ᵐᵉˡᵃⁿᶜʰᵒˡʸ »

Offline truce.

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Re: we мυѕт reιnvenт love !! [ p. ]
« Reply #13 on: August 04, 2017, 06:29:48 AM »

THERE I JUST SAID IT,
I'M SCARED YOU'LL
FORGET ABOUT ME .

- Isaac James Ashford -
a
Isaac didnít know what felt worse: the underlying guilt that he felt for being so rude to Corey, the panic that had set in that nobody wanted him here or that damn look in Loganís eyes. It was a look which screamed íI am hurt and you are the one that hurt meí and Isaac felt ashamed of the realisation that he was, in fact, not nearly as good enough for Logan as Logan wished. He felt obliged to take on this responsibility; after all, he was very aware of what he was doing to Logan. Logan was the donkey and Isaac was the carrot ó no matter how far Logan would travel to reach Isaac, they could never be together as one. Even travelling all the way to Italy for the hopes of rekindling what they had, or what they wish they had, was never going to be enough to catch the carrot in the end. The worst part of it all was that Isaac knew what he was doing wrong, he knew what he could do to change it, but he never did.

All Isaac had to do was simply:
a)   Stop this wild goose chase of drawing Logan in and then pushing him away suddenly or,
b)   Requite the love, God dammit.

And yet, Isaac would never do that. Not until he sorted out his thoughts, anyway. He wanted to say he loved Logan. But, did he really? He would not have endured this hardship of travelling half way across the world with hundreds of people who hated his guts if he wasnít in love, right? All those nights he sat alone in his living room, curled up on his sofa, wondering about how his friend was managing; that dream he would have, fantasising what it would be like if Logan was his. That was definitely love, was it not? If he really adored his friend, though, then why was he so willingly hurting him this way? Isaac didnít want to accept that he was making Logan miserable with the games he was playing but thatís what he was doing, wasnít it? You donít hurt the ones you love; Isaac shouldíve known better.

He didnít understand why he couldnít just back off and stop messing with Loganís head. It couldnít be too difficult. He would just have to stop acting like maybe things would be different the next time round. Stop leading him on. Stop with the loving gazes, the frequent gravitating towards Logan just to be closer to him, those brief touches that theyíd share. Just accept that anything more than just friends between Logan and Isaac was unfeasible...

But, Isaac didnít want that. He wanted the attention. He wanted to feel loved. And, he didnít want to feel loved by just anybody: he wanted Loganís love. Was it out of selfishness that he craved the deep affection that Logan supplied him with? Maybe it was so much more than the inconsiderate need for the tender fondness that Logan was so abundant in... It couldnít be genuine love for Logan, could it? If it was, then Isaac would have reciprocated the love back to Logan by now. Everything was confusing him. He wanted so badly just to hold Logan in his arms, press his lips to his neck and never forget the feeling he was feeling in that very precise moment: the feeling of love.

But, so much was holding him back. In the past, the idea of the bombardment of fans constantly gushing about íLawfordí terrified him, honestly. How successful could a romance within the band be? What if it hadnít worked out, what wouldíve happened then? What if the romance tore apart the amazing friendship they already had? Was Isaac even ready for a relationship with another guy? Heíd always dated girls in the past; what if dating another guy wasnít his thing? And now, in the present, the new fear that things would go pear-shaped if anybody found out about them together was horrifying in itself. The fans hated Isaac enough as it was for hurting Logan. Theyíd go mental if they found out Isaac was in a relationship with Logan. What about Zack, Spencer and that lot? Theyíd lose their shit if they found out about them together. Isaac didnít want to risk it. He was just a coward.

And so, Isaac couldnít bear to give Logan anything but the cold, hard stare he was so used to giving him. That stare that was only seen by Isaac in public. The two of them in private was a different story. Isaac would say he cared about Logan a lot and it was evident in his adoring gaze when it was just the two of them, but... The opposite was to be said about Isaac when they were in public together, however. How can you genuinely love and care about somebody if you canít show that affection in public?

As the show drew to a close, Isaac felt almost sick to his stomach with anxiety. Soon heíd have to start working again, the risk of being called out by somebody increasing tenfold once again. Silently, he hoped that Logan would come bounding over to him, rambling to him about how well the show had gone just like he used to. But, that didnít happen. He faced the guitar rack, beginning to untangle some of the spare guitar leads and rolling them up to pack them away and wishing he could untangle the suffocating dread he was feeling. He swallowed hard, feeling his heart drop at the thought that Logan actually had more priorities over Isaac. He just wanted to stay as quiet as he possibly could; the less he made himself notable around here the less of an irritant heíd be to the others, right? He was deadpan as he began packing the guitars up, hoping that he could work quick enough to get to the bus to climb into his bed and sleep.

He exhaled a stuttering breath as the band began to leave the stage, reaching his hand out to take the guitar from Ian as he passed and silently thanking him with a nod of a head in Ianís direction. He wanted to call Logan over, smile a sweet smile in his direction and congratulate him for the success of the show. But he wasnít going to do that. And so, he went still as he saw Logan approaching him, the younger male brushing passed him and uttering softly before walking away. ĒFind me when youíre done.Ē Isaac chose not to try respond nor did he try look over his shoulder to watch Logan disappear into the green room. Instead, he lowered his gaze, pausing briefly before he turned and got back to his work.

He went on with his work, disconnecting the amps and pedals and packing them away before lugging along the rack back to the tour bus where he packed everything away in the back. How Isaac could manage all of this was a miracle. After all, he was a scrawny, lithe and willowy and definitely didnít seem to have to physical strength to heave heavy objects around all day. This gave him an excuse to really take his time on packing everything away. He had a funny feeling that things were only going to get worse from here between him and Logan, and he needed this break before confronting his friend.

Finally, once everything was completed, he brushed his palms against his black jeans, grimacing over at the bus slightly, before walking towards it and climbing in. This could only go so well for Isaac; could he not just go and sleep and pretend what happened during that show never happened? Well, he wasnít able to go to sleep just yet, but he could definitely attempt he latter. And so, when he found Logan seated alone on the bus, he hesitantly stepped towards him and nudged his shoulder with the back of the hand. ĒUm... One down, thirty to go, hey?Ē He mumbled awkwardly, taking a seat nearby as he attempted to beat around the bush and avoid any mention of the song earlier.

Spoiler: show








I'LL BE THERE AS SOON AS I CAN
BUT I'M BUSY MENDING BROKEN PIECES
OF THE LIFE I HAD BEFORE YOU .


- Samson Nathaniel Erwood -
a
Samson felt like he was home whenever he stood on a stage, performing all of the songs that he adored so much. In ways that were unexplainable, it was one of the only times Sam could feel free from responsibility. It was just him, his bass and hundreds of spectators cheering him on for whatever he did. Without it, Sam felt as if he would be stripped of his identity. Samson Erwood, the father of two, the bassist of a famous band, the divorcee of a beautiful woman... Those all seemed to define him. But, on stage was where all of those were left behind and his raw talent and love for the performance allowed to overtake the reminder of the responsibilities he had to face when he left the stage.

And so, when he got off the stage at the end of the show, he was buzzing. Sam always enjoyed himself when he was performing. He was a natural born performer, he felt, and playing bass was one of his favourite things to do. He approached Corey straight away as he walked off the stage, handing his bass over to a tech along the way, with a broad smile riddled across his lips. Coreyís smile in return gave him hope that heíd done fantastically and that Corey loved the performance. He had been trying his very hardest just to impress the younger male. Anything to show that ó yes ó Sam loved his job. And maybe he also wanted Corey to just gaze at him for the entire performance but... No biggie if he didnít... Pfft.

He wanted to blush at the praise from Corey telling him that the show was great, but couldnít come to react in any way but lose his smile at the lack of enthusiasm laced in Coreyís voice. Something was wrong. Samson couldnít put his finger on what had happened but it mustíve been something that happened during the performance. Corey was watching the entire show, so this only lead to... Sam. Sam had done something wrong whilst he was on stage. Ugh, and just when Sam was all excited about calling Corey a friend, heís probably ruined it all now. And donít try tell him that he was jumping to conclusions now; he was just scared that heíd messed things up. He was really fond of Corey, all right?

He found himself panicking just a little internally; he wasnít actually quite sure what he had done wrong, but he probably did something, right? He was perplexed, confused and couldnít help but grimace with concern. And then, Corey leaned in and hugged Sam. He wasnít quite sure what was happening but it was definitely a slight comfort knowing that, even if he did something wrong, Corey would still be nice to him. Samson tried to smile gently to himself, resting his chin on Coreyís as he openly wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into the hug. ĒIím glad you think so!Ē He attempted to exclaim enthusiastically, but the response came out as being more nervous than he expected.

After a couple of moments of cherishing the comforting hug, he pulled away, ruffling Coreyís hair gently and looking side to side to see if anybody else was around. He didnít want to create a massive scene by bringing up the gloominess that Corey appeared to be feeling into conversation. But, Samson wasnít the type to beat around the bush. As the oldest in the band, it was his responsibility to maturely deal with any problem at hand straight out rather than avoiding it. Sam had to fix the mistake heíd made. But, firstly, he had to find out what he had done wrong.

When he was sure that no one was around to listen in, he tightly folded his arms across his body out of nervousness, pouting his thin lips out a little and looking down at Corey with a look of concern in his gaze. And then ó ĒAre you mad at me?Ē He asked straight out, pausing just for a moment before continuing, ĒIím sorry if Iíve done something wrong. I didnít mean to do it ó I donít even know what Iíve done wrong ó but if Iíve upset you I wonít do it again... Sorry.Ē He went on, beginning to use pathetic hand gestures before wringing his hands together worriedly. It was evident from his ramble that he seriously had no clue about what had happened, but he was sure that he would never do it again if it meant he and Corey could still be friends.


« Last Edit: July 17, 2018, 02:46:00 PM by Hootowls »
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Offline elysian.

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Re: we мυѕт reιnvenт love !! [ p. ]
« Reply #14 on: August 04, 2017, 09:47:25 AM »
logan cain lawson
i wanna scream i love you from the top of my lungs
as they walked away from the venue over to their bus, logan couldnít help feeling like there was something settling uneasily in his stomach. why had he said that to isaac? why was he so desperate to talk to him? he was sure that, by the end of the conversation, he would only have his heart aching more than it had hurt in the first place. that was how these things always went. he got so attached to isaac but, in the long run, it never amounted to anything. and, surely, these conversations only put more strain on the both of them. a small piece of him almost thought that it would be better for the both of them if they didnít talk. isaac and logan never truly worked well when they had serious talks, or at least that was how it had been back in the day. logan could remember constantly hinting, subtly asking if there was ever a shot for them to be together. yet, every time, he was met with an uncertain look and a quick change of the subject.

perhaps that had been the worst part; he never got to know. he never got the peace of mind. there was never a certain answer, the decision that would make them become such closer and more intimate, or a choice that definitively said they would never become anything more. that very thing had haunted logan for years, ever since isaac had left. spencer had known, too, that logan had held isaac so close to his heart- that he had put him on a golden tier, way above everyone else in his world. one time, during an interview, he could remember calling the other a damn god, for peteís sake -- and, even then, the compliment had simply been laughed off, and the subject was quick to change. sometimes, it truly got to him. sometimes, it made his heart ache. but he was okay with it because, in his mind, he always still had a chance.

so logan tried to do things to help isaac decide. to help the guitarist know that all he needed was logan. the vocalist showered his friend with so much love; compliments, affectionate touches, going out of his way to get him something. what hadnít he done to prove his love for the other? he could even remember on stage, creating the ďstage guyĒ and proposing it was for the fans. but, those were simply his brief moments in getting to be with him- no matter how many times the other would just pull away from his touches.

despite all the subtle signs of rejection, though, logan still loved him. he still gave him all of the attention that he deserved, which was all that he could give. the thought was enough for him to grimace slightly. god, what was wrong with him? heíd do all these things out of sheer fondness and affection for the other-- out of love. did all the love simply blind him from the truth? had isaac been sending signals all along that he wanted to be something? that the thought of being with logan disgusted him? he was so confused. there were occasional times where the guitarist would return his affections, but it was almost like theyíd take one step forward, only to take two steps back because isaac would push him away, again.

heíd always convince himself why the other wouldnít reciprocate, though. oh, maybe he was just scared of what the fans would think. oh, perhaps he was just scared that they wouldnít work out, and the band would end up being torn apart because of it. maybe isaac hadnít even been sure about his feelings towards another guy at a time. logan, personally, couldnít relate- his dating history usually compiled of a whole mix of genders. however, even with all of these reasons as to why they shouldnít date, as to why it would be wrong, and dangerous, and scary... the musician still wanted to try. if they were in a relationship, he knew he would try his hardest to make sure that isaac felt loved every second of every day. heíd be sure to shower him with gifts, shower him with affection and just.. love. because, dammit, heíd been wanting to do that for years now, and wouldnít take their time together for granted.

and so, logan still gave him everything that he could. it was fairly obvious that he was feeling so much more for the other than what a platonic relationship could give him. wasnít it obvious that the place they were currently in in their relationship was killing him? it was like a slap to the face, a stab in the chest, every time he saw his friend. every time he got to admire his perfect features, wish to run his hands over every dip and curve-- make him feel more loved in ways that he just couldnít, before. it hurt, knowing there might never be a day that he could.

he entered the bus, still feeling rather happy from such a great first show. it was the happiest heíd felt on the tour, so far, but who could blame him? singing and showing the bandís songs off to the rest of the world was a feeling that he could never truly get over. it left him on cloud nine, after the shows. even while his mind was still on isaac - it was always on isaac - he could find only happiness from the pure ecstasy that the stage brought him. as he sat down, there were plenty of people at first that sat and would chatter around him, him joining in the conversation as well from time to time. all the while, though, he found his gaze usually moving around the bus, attempting to find isaac either just walking in, or lingering around until other people left. yet, he didnít see him quite yet, and every minute without the other in his sight felt like an hour. it made his stomach churn uncomfortable. god, how had he become so dependent on a single person??

people had only stuck around for a matter of minutes before they all started to slowly filter away from the little living room space- if you could truly call it that. he watched as they all wished him good night, yawning and stretching their arms up above their head, as they wandered towards the bunk area. so, there he was. alone. he sighed softly to himself, leaning against the arm of the couch. exhaustion was starting to settle in, from having given such a performance. it had been a while, since heíd actually gotten to go up on stage and dance, sing, do backflips, things of that sort. yet, despite how badly he wanted to go sleep, he waited for isaac. they would finally get to be alone and, well.. logan had some questions that he wanted answered.

feeling a gentle nudge to his shoulder, he lifted his gaze hopefully and- sure enough, there was isaac. he couldnít help but smile at the sight of the other. Ēthirty to go,Ē he repeated, followed by a quiet chuckle. Ēyou didnít do bad at all, either. you belong here. really.Ē perhaps it was said just to reassure the other that everything was alright; that nobody saw anything wrong with his performance on the job so far. which. nobody had seemed to point out any of his faults, at least not in front of the one that adored him so much. and... maybe there was more meaning, behind saying that he belonged here. a silent beg.

please donít leave.

clearing his throat, he softly started, the question burning his throat, Ēso...Ē part of him didnít know how to word it. he wanted to know his thoughts on that gloomy song, on the heartbreaking lyrics that heíd written about him-- for him. Ēwhat did you think?Ē perhaps it was better to not ask the question directly, to simply start broad by asking what he thought of the show entirely. Ēdid you like the new songs?Ē god, there was so much more that he wanted to say. yet all he could do was simply keep his mouth shut about it for now. it would be whatís best for them, right? even while he could feel his heart racing in his chest, anticipating a response that he knew more than likely wouldnít come.

thes code
corey bleu
like stars in the sky, and leaves on the trees
donít get him wrong, corey had absolutely loved getting to watch the show. he had adored looking from a whole different view than he ever had before, getting to actually see them up close. it was even crazier to think that heíd be seeing this so many more times- and, admittedly, each time his eyes would probably still be fixated on samson. it was just.. amazing, getting to watch the other perform. part of him wished he had known of the brobecks before, and had gone to one of their shows. the other seemed like he would be so amazing as a frontman for a band, singing, being absolutely amazing in front of all of his fans. the way he carried himself on stage just made coreyís heart swell, honestly.

he just wished that things had gone a little bit better. god, why had he talked to isaac ashford? it made an uneasy feeling settle in his stomach. he didnít think that he had been rude, or that he couldíve said something that hurt the otherís feelings. seriously, all heíd done was praise him- just to receive a harsh look and a sarcastic response. most arguably wouldnít have been too fazed by the act- but it had corey shaking right down to the core. the old band member had - and still did - mean so much to the assistant. heíd been a person just like him, in a popular and amazing band. that wasnít exactly a common thing and, well.. he didnít know. maybe it wouldíve been better just to not talk to someone he thought so highly of.

hugging samson was well-needed. actually, he hadnít realized how badly heíd needed it until sam  had wrapped his arms around him and hugged him. part of him didnít even want to let go. their height difference was blatantly obvious but, really, thatís what made it all the better. just being enveloped in the tallerís arms. perhaps it was a bit confusing for sam. i mean, there was only so much that couldíve gone wrong within an hour, and only so much that could go wrong just by standing by the stage and watching. however, it usually wasnít so often that someone took notice of his lack of enthusiasm almost immediately. then again, that could easily be because none of them ever really got corey out of his anxious, quiet shell to truly notice a difference.

he couldnít help but smile genuinely as the other pulled away and ruffled his hair, probably the most uplifted heíd felt in.. well, an hour. it was enough to make him feel a bit more at ease, even while he still felt pretty dismayed. who wouldnít be completely crestfallen? corey didnít cry. he wasnít one to really cry much at all; however, seeing someone heíd looked up to for years on end despise him, it.. it managed to break his heart. what was only making it worse was that he wanted samson to know just how excited and happy the show had made him. it was hard, right now though. all he could do was dwell on how he had single-handedly made an amazing artist and lyricist hate him. it was definitely enough to rip at his heartstrings.

samsonís next words were enough to make his heart just shatter. almost immediately after the otherís short ramble, he was shaking his head. Ēsamson. no no no, itís not you at all!Ē he was quick to defend, his brows furrowed out of concern. god, it hurt to see the other so nervous, with his hand gestures and the way he was wringing his hands so worriedly. Ēit could never be you. you were so amazing out there!Ē which, that was the complete truth. he couldnít picture samson ever putting him down while he was out on the stage. the other was awe-inspiring to watch, truly. it was just so hard to let the other know how he saw him.

with a brief sigh, he ran his fingers through his hair, contemplating if he should even say something. Ēitís... itís stupid,Ē he tried to explain, looking at the ground for a moment to gather his thoughts before looking back up at samson. Ēi tried to talk to isaac ashford, and-- you see, i really look up to him because he-- well, heís my idol and...Ē trailing off after realizing he was uselessly jumbling up his words, he turned his gaze away. Ēi think i went and pissed him off. he wouldnít even look at me for the rest of the show.Ē giving a small shrug, he crossed his arms and huffed. Ēi know, itís pathetic. forget about it,Ē he assured after a moment, turning his gaze back up to the other and smiling softly. gently, he nudged the otherís foot with his own. Ēitís definitely not because of you, you crazy talented stud.Ē


thes code
« Last Edit: July 17, 2018, 02:48:40 PM by Hootowls »