Author Topic: STARING AT THE CEILING [&] open, return  (Read 1105 times)

Offline HONŌKA,

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STARING AT THE CEILING [&] open, return
« on: November 12, 2017, 10:28:25 PM »
She'd shut herself up in her house for a while. She can't remember how long, and she doesn't care how long. All she knows is that she doesn't want to show her face to the world anymore. Anxiety has been coiling in her stomach like a filthy snake every night as she closes her eyes, writhing inside of her, filling her throat with venom until it finally crawls out of her mouth in the form of cries that jolt her awake during the night. She can't sleep anymore. She's stopped eating. She looks so thin, so pale and sickly, so damaged from something that she had brought upon herself, that she had asked for. She hates this feeling. She hates feeling like she's no longer in control, like she's being stepped on again. She doesn't want to be stepped on. She can't hole herself up like this, not again, not like all those times where her boyfriend hurt her. She needs to be a normal member of society again. She needs to go... Out. Outside, where the other Badlanders are functioning like normal people, working through their problems. Outside, where she will be forced to deal with her own. She doesn't want to go out.

She does anyway. A woman steps outside of her house, and she looks like a shell of her former self. She doesn't look... Right. Her clothes are less form-fitting, and her makeup is messy, having been put on by a shaky hand. Though her expression is blank, her eyes are rimmed red, and the dark circles that surround them make them look oddly dead. She doesn't look like she's supposed to look, and though only a few people know what she should look like—a sarcastic smirk, sass in her eyes, a witty drawl in her words—it's still unclear why exactly she looks like this. When she had come back from her capture, she'd only run into Charlie, and even then, she'd refused to tell him much. She'd come back with injuries, and he'd questioned her and made her cry and after that she had disappeared for the second time, though this time, she'd been in the Badlands, too afraid to leave her own house. And now, finally, here she is. She's trying to heal, trying to force herself to heal. She can't let this get to her anymore. Briefly, she takes in a breath, and then she finally walks out into the abandoned street, in full view of the rest of her groupmates. She's just hoping that no one bothers her much. "Dinner," she reminds herself softly, pacing toward where the food is kept, hoping not to gain much attention. "Eat something."
get them drunk on rose water ・゚✧ ☾

Offline THORNE H.

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Re: STARING AT THE CEILING [&] open, return
« Reply #1 on: November 13, 2017, 11:49:03 PM »
thorne knew people like what hono was now. he'd had a cousin, in fact that had the same expression that this woman currently exhibited. thorne knew that expression, it was the one his mother had had on her face for months after the fire. thorne had promised himself he'd never have that expression, that it'd never even get close to his face. so, here he was, more asshole than mess now. a horrible, horrible coping mechanism, but one that worked well. you can't damage anything hidden so far away, that you couldn't dig it up if you tried.

thorne had seen that expression too many times. and goddammit, thorne was an ass, but he wasn't horrible. sometimes, just talking with someone helped, and thorne (as much as he hated people) couldn't let this slip by. thorne cleared his throat, and darted forwards, closing the gap between hono's side and his own. "umm, hi. i'm thorne. i'm new, i don't think.." thorne trailed off, realizing his words were mindless, they didn't have weight. "fucking hell, i wanted to see if you were okay. and you're clearly not, but i'm a total stranger, and i figured at least me trying to introduce myself would be better than just letting you go on."

god, socializing seriously sucked.
LET'S KILL TONIGHT.

Offline LUCKY

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Re: STARING AT THE CEILING [&] open, return
« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2017, 01:10:12 AM »
Charlie had been leading the Badlands for a month or so now. There had been a huge influx of joiners as of late, and he was beginning to realize that the older members of the Badlands were starting to fade away. Dylan and Clover were really the only ones left from Tatiana's reign, and even the latter wasn't even showing her face around as much as she used to. It was hard to keep up with his members at times, even if he tried his hardest to recognize every name and every face in the Badlands. At this rate, it would be near impossible to do so in a short amount of time. There was just a lot going on constantly, with prepping for raids and gathering supplies on the daily and all of that good stuff. There was one presence, though- just one that sometimes his mind would drift towards at the end of an uneventful day. For some reason, the name tended to poke at his thoughts: Honoka. Charlie, when he thought about the days before the start of his leadership, often thought of the girl. She had always been an interesting person to be around, though he had not always appreciated her sarcastic comments and quips towards him. Still, she reminded him of the old days. He knew that she was still here, as she had come back a few weeks ago from God knows where. As much as he pressed her, he couldn't squeeze a lot of information out of her. She had been attacked by a group of bandits, supposedly, and because of that she had sheltered herself. Hell, he hadn't even noticed her at any of the group meetings (or perhaps she managed to blend into the crowd really well). Charlie was sometimes tempted to check up on her, simply because he was concerned that she'd be a "dead-weight" if she didn't do something productive soon. He knew that she'd just ignore him or push him away, though, which would only lead to more frustration. If she felt that she needed to leave the Badlands, then she would do so in time. If not, then she'd show her face sooner or later.

It seemed that today would be that day. Charlie had been expecting just a normal walk down the street when he heard the distinct voice of that Thorne guy. He couldn't miss it- he had a British tongue laced with sarcasm and wit, one that had gotten on his nerves upon first meeting him. From what Charlie could assume, though, Thorne didn't usually like reaching out to strangers. Or maybe he did, but he just disliked people in general. Either way, the Boss couldn't help but wonder what the fuss was about. He peered down the road to see the brunette walking next to a petite woman with light-colored hair. Charlie slowed his pace, a very vague sner appearing onto his masculine features. That... that was Hono, wasn't it? Christ, she looked bad. He wasn't going to lie on that one. Whereas months ago she was somewhat of a femme fatale, dolled up with makeup and armed with a knife and sass, now she looked like a shell of her former self. Her clothes looked rather baggy and her overall appearance was of mediocre quality (compared to what she normally looked like). What had happened to her? Had the experience with the bandits really traumatized her that badly? Jesus, it was dispiriting to see Honoka like this. It just came to show that even the mightiest of structures was capable of collapsing into a pile of rubble and dust.

Charlie, unlike last time, wasn't going to press the woman. Not here, not in public, not now. She was walking and seeing sunlight again, and that was good enough for now. He didn't want to scare her back into her residence only to have her shut herself away once again. The suited man slowly approached her, a neutral expression now presented. "... You're out." The New Yorker stated in his gruff tone of voice. Maybe she would answer him, maybe she would brush him off. He hadn't been quite sure on what to say, but he knew that he had to say something.
THERE'S NO RETURN FROM WHERE I'VE BEEN
❝ TRIED TO PRETEND THAT I'M AROUND . . .
————————— BIOGRAPHY / FORMER BOSS OF THE BADLANDS

Offline HONŌKA,

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Re: STARING AT THE CEILING [&] open, return
« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2017, 05:52:27 PM »
Honōka had faded away with the rest of the old members of the Badlands, but for quite a different reason than the rest of them. She had been captured against her will and taken away by a group of unruly bandits. She'd had no intentions of leaving before that moment, and her life had been good—she'd gotten promoted, and she'd been making... Friends, of some sort. And then, all of that had been stripped from her before she knew it, stealing away her outer layer of tough skin that kept her sensitivities tightly under wrap along with it. She's been reduced to who she doesn't want to be, and it's clear that she's damaged, because as soon as Thorne quickly approaches her, she jolts. Her shoulders seize up, and she stumbles off to the side, a soft gasp shivering in her throat. She stares at him for a moment, her body tense, then quickly hides the clear shock on her face with that dull, dead look again, cold eyes looking off in front of her as she continues to walk, this time with an unexpected guest, her steps quicker. However, by what he's saying, he's not... Unpleasant. Her steps slow.

She keeps utterly silent as he introduces himself, listening carefully as he then breaks off and explains his true motives of speaking to her. For a moment, the woman's breathing hitches. She slows in her walk again, and her heels click on the pavement as she stops entirely, staring at Thorne through chestnut eyes that seem to be vaguely... Touched, in a way. However, the emotion doesn't last long, and she quickly looks away, nodding softly, her pale dyed curls bouncing as she does so. "...Thank you," she then says after a moment of hesitation, unsure of what else she should say. She can't tell him why she's acting this way, nor can she tell him what's happened to her. The most she can do is introduce herself back, and with a brief inhale, she does just that, though she keeps her eyes away from his. "I'll... I'll be alright. Thank you for your concern," she says softly, before continuing, "Thorne, was it? It's nice to meet you. My name is Honōka." She's about to say something else, maybe continue with small talk to seem polite, but the appearance of Charlie stills her tongue, and her mouth shuts with a click as her eyes flick to his face.

"...You're out."

For a brief moment, she watches him, and her good hand wonders to her broken wrist, where she remembers that he'd grabbed it. She's all bandaged up now, and her wounds are better, but she's still not doing great. She's healing slowly because she isn't taking care of herself well enough, and she knows that, and she knows Charlie knows that, too. She doesn't know why that fact makes her feel bad. She knows that she shouldn't care what Charlie thinks, and yet she feels ashamed to be standing in front of him looking like a wreck, and it fills her with anger and sadness and crippling nervousness. She hates it. She hates feeling this way. "I'm sorry," she suddenly blurts without thinking, and now the words are out there, and she has to keep going, and she does, because she doesn't know what else to do. She stares at him in something close to desperation—she doesn't want to be kicked out for being a dead weight. She wants to stay here, where she's protected, even though she hates being protected. She wants to be with people who are willing to keep her safe, and as she turns to him, she hugs her arms, trying to explain. "I couldn't go outside. There's—I'm not perfect. I'm human." She doesn't know why she's so desperate to get his approval. She's just so sensitive right now, and if he gets mad at her again, she won't know what to do with herself. "I'll do better, Charlie." her voice is shaking, because she's expecting to be hit. Every time she said those words in the past, she was hit, after all. "I will."
get them drunk on rose water ・゚✧ ☾

Offline rosey,

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Re: STARING AT THE CEILING [&] open, return
« Reply #4 on: November 14, 2017, 09:04:53 PM »
DRINK MY TEARS —
Niara doesn't know this girl, and judging by the way Charlie reacts to her arrival, she guessed that the two either knew each other, or she was formerly a part of the Badlands. She was fairly new, so she supposed she'd end up seeing a lot of instances like this one. Regardless, she still decided to make her way over to introduce herself. As she walked, one could notice a slight limp, because she was still incredibly sore from her spar with Sheogorath. He was a damn good hit. She offered her hand towards the stranger, dark brown eyes briefly skimming over her. She didn't want to interrupt whatever was happening between her and Charlie, so she'd try to keep this short. "I don't think we've met. I'm Niara. I'd offer to help with your wounds, but you're probably better at that stuff than I am. It's nice to meet you, Honōka."
Spoiler: TAGS / 10/11/17 • show
i'm at your mercy —✧ general
niara seraphina fletcher / cis female / seventeen years / july 19th, 2000
birthdate is subject to change / twin sister of (tba)
speaks english and russian / can't write, but can read somewhat
the badlands / member

i love you most —✧ appearance
reference / mixed(white + armenian) / health: 100%
— niara is almost the spitting image of her mother, although pieces of her father's genes can be noticed in simple details here and there. she's tall and thin, but has strong muscles, which aren't too visible unless you're looking closely. she's about 5'7 or 5'8 in height. her skin is a medium olive tone, inherited from her mother, who is of armenian descent. she's struggled with acne before and still sometimes does, although not as frequently. as a result, her face has scars from it, but she doesn't really seem to care. her dark chestnut brown hair is usually kept in a ponytail, and she's often seen sporting a dark hoodie or leather jacket, along with a light t-shirt of some kind beneath. she often wears skinny jeans or tights, but sometimes she'll wear sweatpants, and only owns one pair of shoes which are black and white sneakers that she's had for years. only rarely is she seen wearing makeup, and that's usually only a little bit, for events and parties. her eyes are big and dark brown in colour, although in the light there are golden hues that bounce off her irises.
— injuries: n/a

but i'm not worthy —✧ personality
— suspicious, fierce, judgmental, sneaky, hostile
— niara is often suspicious of others' motives, and keeps her circle incredibly close because of her distrust of others. she's family-oriented, and while she loves her father and her siblings, it will take a long time for them all to gain her trust. her twin brother, however, is her one and only 100% confidant, the one person she trusts with everything- including her own life. she is fierce and is completely willing and capable to start fights or finish them. she can be pretty judgmental, usually silently, but if she feels its important, she'll speak her mind, something she's never been afraid to do. she is possessive, almost scarily so- and incredibly hostile whenever someone so much as looks at one of her siblings or friends wrong. they may all be half-siblings, but they're still her blood, and she'll fight for them.

'cause your love is holy —✧ relationships & interaction
homosexual / single / not looking
john x maggie / many, many siblings
incredibly skilled in combat
uses a bow + arrow & occasionally uses a dagger
physically hard / mentally extreme
attack in #841111 / powerplaying nonviolent actions is allowed
if you need to breathe
i'll be your remedy
nerds + hub + art shop

Offline LUCKY

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Re: STARING AT THE CEILING [&] open, return
« Reply #5 on: November 16, 2017, 12:03:07 AM »
That... hadn't been the reaction he had been expecting. Charlie had always known Honōka as a rather stubborn individual and was half-expecting her to just brush his remark off and walk past him. Their last encounter hadn't been the most fond of memories, anyways, and she likely still remembered it quite well. Instead, he had gotten an apology. The Boss, as she kept on going on about how she wasn't perfect and how she'd try to do better, was at a momentary loss for words. What did he say to that? Was he supposed to be disappointed in her or not? It wasn't like she was a high position or any rank of importance, but then again, she was still a soldier. She needed to pull her weight around here if she wanted to contribute to the Badlands' prosperity. Charlie couldn't find it in him to be angry with her, though.

He noticed that her voice was beginning to tremble and his gaze only grew more puzzled by the moment. Why was she getting so emotional over this? Other than the look of slight surprise and confusion in his eyes, his expression still remained neutral. He held a poker face, per usual. He was good at that. He never enjoyed the idea of anyone being able to "read him", and he chose to keep his inner thoughts mostly a mystery unless he chose to express it (for example, through rage and frustration). Emotions were easy to take advantage of, and that was what Charlie wanted to avoid happening to him. He was the Boss. He couldn't be seen as weak. "Just.. relax, will you?" Yeesh, what was he supposed to say? Charlie couldn't tell if Hon was going to cry or anything like that. If so, then he was screwed. Comforting people wasn't his strong suit, either. "Look- it's alright. I'll hold you t' that." As long as she was determined to try and show her face more often, then that was all he could ask for. She didn't need to stress herself out. It was strange; he wasn't used to seeing Hon this sensitive before. Life had been undeniably tough on her lately.

The Boss glanced to the side, seeing as Niara had now joined the group. Had he seen her walking, he would've questioned her limp. He didn't like the idea of his soldiers getting hurt left and right, especially if it was just in spars. They had to be ready for anything at a moment's notice. Charlie said nothing, as she was just introducing herself to the emerged soldier, and he found that his eyes were again returning to the figure of the Japanese woman.
THERE'S NO RETURN FROM WHERE I'VE BEEN
❝ TRIED TO PRETEND THAT I'M AROUND . . .
————————— BIOGRAPHY / FORMER BOSS OF THE BADLANDS

Offline DYLAN

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Re: STARING AT THE CEILING [&] open, return
« Reply #6 on: November 17, 2017, 10:36:26 AM »
Ah, Honoka. They had clashed once before after the first raid over something stupid involving Charlie and his mood. He never got to apologize or make right what he had done before she disappeared without a trace. Her departure meant he had mixed opinions on the elegant woman, the one who should be walking in a lazy saunter but no longer wore the same mischief she used to. Dylan was quick to understand she must've been through hell and that whatever she had experienced on the road had been shitty. He decided not to ask questions; he didn't like people prying into his business, he had a feeling the same was for her. "Welcome back." He mused half to himself as he halted beside Niara, hazel gaze flickering over the returning girl. Charlie seemed happy -- relieved, even -- and the Underboss wondered if he wouldn't be so business-like now he had other things to pursue. "I'm Dylan in case you forgot."
HEART MADE OF GLASS, MY MIND OF STONE
TEAR ME TO PIECES, SKIN AND BONE — ——-

HELLO, WELCOME HOME — ———-—-————--